I was with a girl for last 7 years. We have not physical relationship we are just friends. I had promised her for marry but now I want to back out because my parents are not agree on her. What should I do? How I tell her? I had tried to tell her the situation but she says she loves me and can’t live without me. Please help… tell me what should I do? how I tell her because it is impossible for me to marry her.
I also dont want to marry her. I dont love her I always think her just a friend.
2006-07-04 00:23:22 · 23 answers · asked by createnewprofilenameyourprofile 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
There is a song called, "Love Hurts" and that is just a part of life. It sucks! However, it is better to tell her now than later when you are both unhappy in a marriage. If you are unhappy in a dating situation than, believe me, marriage will NOT solve that. Marriage is difficult even with the full commitment of both partners. Also, you are not responsible for her inability to cope with disappointment in life. By her saying that she can't live without you, she is trying to keep you by scaring you into being controlled. Perhaps talk with her parents, a common religious authority or someone close to her. Tell them what is going to happen and tell them that she is going to need support because she said she could not live without you. The threat must be taken seriously but that does not mean that she has the right to force you to stay in a relationship you don't want. The support group you help build up can help her. Just be honest, kind and speak from the heart.
2006-07-04 00:38:50 · answer #1 · answered by norsktjej1964 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe all the answers are good that i have read, it is sad, but if you do not love her, the way she loves you, than you do not owe her your life or a future with you,. Please be kind to her, and yet you must fiind the words to say what you said on yahoo right nowl
possibly you can tell her that she mean a lot to you and for these years you were friends and you love her as a friend., but emotionally you do not love her in the same way she does, and it is not fair to her or you to pretend otherwise
Tell her you respect and admire her, and her happiness does matter to you but you can't give her the love yu do not have inside to give her, and you realize that you are not emotionally available in the same way, and to realize
that all these years, you did not understand your feelings but you do now, and this is why you must go different directions, and wish her well and ask if she will ever accept you as a frieind only, and of course this will be a treasured friendship forever, and you know that someone out in the world will be the right guy, for her, and to just believe in herself, and be herself and he will come, and that is all you can reallly do, just don't be cruel and if she is really sad or cryiing ,tell her you are sorry for her pain, and you did not mean to cause her pain, if she is really heartbroken, but hte greatest gift you can give her as a friend is total TRUTH
GOOD LUCK
2006-07-04 08:11:47 · answer #2 · answered by Maureen K 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if u urself do not want to marry her thats one thing ,, but because ur parents dont like her that is a cop out, ur parents should not be a part of the desiosn what soo ever , after all they will not be the ones married to her u will be ,tell her u want to have sex with her before u get married to make sure u will last together, then after tell her it was not that good, and u no longer want to marry her,, that way its her fault , and ur off the hook
2006-07-04 10:05:32 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
l think you are a very confused person if you were just friends why did you promise to marry her, and do you always listen to your parents as far as your relationships are concerned, if you feel the way you do better tell now before its too late next time avoid making promises that you can't keep, so no-one gets hurt
2006-07-04 07:32:24 · answer #4 · answered by Lil mama 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know you said you told her, but tell her again. Then stop taking phone calls and avoid seeing her as much as possible. Don't go out on dates with her, and don't do anything that would lead her to believe you are still interested. You may not be able to be friends, until she accepts the fact that you don't want to marry her.
2006-07-04 07:30:54 · answer #5 · answered by doglady 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't love her that way, and don't want to marry her then under no circumstances be compelled to marry her.
As for saying no to her...if she really loves you she 'll understand your situation. Take a rest, go away for some 2-3 months...then reanalyze the relation. How did you feel away from her. I think you'll be able to take a decision suitable for you both.
2006-07-04 07:28:48 · answer #6 · answered by sameer s 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well that all just sounds bad...why 7 years and now nothing...why should you listen to your parents anyway, (i have a feeling your culture has something to do with it) if you really love her and you want to marry her, dont let your parents stop you...i mean shes waiting 7 years for you....what does that say about what kind of girl she is? think about it...dont just stop talking to her cause of your parents...you have to have a better reason then that
2006-07-04 07:30:01 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be open to her and tell her the truth about th whole situation. There is nothing so painful than to hear about a break up when you thought someone loved you. The time is now....is all i can say!
2006-07-04 07:27:39 · answer #8 · answered by Rwashe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm glad you threw in that last part. At first I was going to say if you aren't mature enough to choose someone without your parents permission, then you don't deserve them anyway.
But...since you don't love her, simply tell her that it would be wrong and unfair to her to marry her without loving her beyond friendship. Tell her, as a friend, you refuse th do that to her.
2006-07-04 07:30:16 · answer #9 · answered by Dale P 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her what you told us "I also dont want to marry you. I dont love you I always think of you just a friend.
2006-07-04 07:25:47 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋