My boyfriend of 31/2 yrs thought we should give our relationship another try. He kissed (french kissed) a girl from work saying she wanted the kiss and he felt he had too. Well we then chose to take a break to evaluate our relationship. during that time he slept with this girl. well they have probably slept together enough. now he says he has feelings for this woman. it is now our 4day (since we split.) im not sure if he is using me for a nice place to fall on. he said he told that gal he wants to work things out with me. im just so confused. Has anyone been in a similar situation? If so how did you make out in one piece.
2006-07-01 21:39:10 · 14 answers · asked by mandyrp21@sbcglobal.net 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Here is the problem. If you take him back you are saying what he did was okay. You are letting him know that you will forgive him. Then what happens next time at 5 years, 6 years? I know 3 1/2 years is a long time to you know. But later in life it will seem like nothing. Sometimes a clean break is what you need to get your life back on track. Don't let this consume you.
2006-07-01 21:49:34 · answer #1 · answered by Artistic Prof. 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Amanda. Sorry to hear you are in this situation.
My take is that the boyfriend is not trying to work things out very hard if he is doing so while he is sleeping with another woman. A lot of men will say that sex doesn't mean very much to them in the love stakes, and that may be so, but respect for your feelings certainly should. If he doesn't know what he wants he is probably better given a wide berth, but that really comes down to whether you want to put up with a man who hasn't grown up much and may not ever do.
As it is only your 4th day I suggest you let him have a bit more time roll by and you might find you don't need him as much as you thought you did. Learn from it. Move on.
Good luck with that and take care.
2006-07-02 05:07:43 · answer #2 · answered by AJ... Australia 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow, story of my life! My fiance did the exact same thing to me. My heart chose to forgive him & we are currently in the process of working it out. Its not an easy thing to do because your love for this person out-weighs the hurt but that doesnt make the hurt go away.
You have to decide whether or not you are strong enough to do the hard yards & look at your man objectivly to determine if he his truely going to be faithful because of his love for you or if he is just feeling lonely with his guilt.
Best of luck to you. There are relationship councillors out there, some are really good, some are really crap, but they can be a valuable tool for you both to use if you decide to work on this.
Remember though, you cant bring it up every time you argue or if he doesnt do what you want. Kinda sux that you gotta make the choice, but give yourself enough time cause you dont want to regret any decision later & resent him or yourself for it.
You might want to give this girl a talking to also because if you & your man are to work things out, the last thing you need is for her to make things harder. She sounds like a tacky tart so be assertive when you tell her to dissapear. Maybe get your man to talk to her while you are pressent, that way there will be no room for misinterpretation from anyone & you can be certain that what he says is the truth.
All the best :o)
2006-07-02 04:50:58 · answer #3 · answered by Mrs D 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he has fallen for a kiss. Does she have brains to match if not then its another ride for him till the next one. I had definitely one to find out that I was invited to his wedding and I didn't know he was getting married, try to swallow that, I think he wanted me too for his seconds away from his wife. This didn't work, I moved on, of course I had the restaurant trick one afternoon experience, people were watching from the next table to listen to our conversation, I tried not to get overheated and left him from the table. You would want to cry on a trusted friend's shoulder that you would share a talk if I were you. Life goes on.
2006-07-02 05:17:57 · answer #4 · answered by Carmen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please believe me. Even if he never did anything like that again, you will NEVER completely trust him after this. It's not worth it -he's not the one. And I'm sorry, you won't get out in one piece- however, eventually you will be able to put the pieces back together.
2006-07-02 04:49:24 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi
in my opinion. i think u need to work things out in a practical way. ask him if who does he really love, u or that girl? he has to choose only one. I know it's hard but think about it. he's doing it for himself or for the girl, either way it doesn't benefit u in any way.
Girl, u've got nothing to regret if u give urself some respect!
2006-07-02 04:45:42 · answer #6 · answered by meioww 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would get out as fast as you can. A zebras stripes never change and I am afraid if you stay you are asking for more heartache. If you don't respect yourself he won't either. Run for your life.
2006-07-02 04:44:20 · answer #7 · answered by Vivreici 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he cheating now it will only get worse with time. Move on for you are way to good for him.
2006-07-02 04:46:00 · answer #8 · answered by David 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dump him, he's using you, move on an find a better man
2006-07-02 05:55:12 · answer #9 · answered by Giggles 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ditch him. get rid of him pronto. Take a look at a dilema I lived through. http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=ApBDA.dxuAZb0275jSuoZfzsy6IX?qid=20060702000724AAbDTG7
2006-07-02 04:45:55 · answer #10 · answered by soleofsoul 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋