2006-07-01 20:23:20 · 21 answers · asked by Jaysee 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
avoid the negative. just say that the new daddy loves her very much.
2006-07-01 20:26:29 · answer #1 · answered by Mac Momma 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you certainly don't tell her that her bio-dad didn't want her. How old is your daughter and has she asked about her bio-dad? I would tell her (when/if she asks) that her bio-dad just wasn't mature enough to know how to handle a family when she was born or whenever it was that he left. This is a very touchy situation because like it or not at some point in her life she may search for her bio-dad to ask him questions. No matter what he's done or hasn't done, he's still her bio-dad. What happened between you and him has nothing to do with her. Don't run him down in front of or to her. By the time she decides when/if she wants to find him he will more than likely have matured and will be a totally different person. On top of that she won't see the side of him that you have and won't understand why you said "all those things".
My middle son decided he wanted to see his father. I told him how to contact him and they were thicker than thieves for a few months but then that ended. Come to find out he wasn't much different than in the past and he saw what I had gone through with his dad. I never tried to sway him one way or the other and so glad I didn't. Even though his dad was still a crumb I feel had I run him down to him it would have lessened me as a mother.
Never, ever let a child think someone as important as a mother/father doesn't want them. Focus on the dad she knows now and let her know how lucky she is to have been chosen by him as a daughter. Good luck!
2006-07-01 20:41:13 · answer #2 · answered by mojo52 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That depends...does the bio dad spend any time with her at all?You might explain to her that her adopted daddy is truly her father,he loves her and wants her to be happy, and that the other dad has a complicated life that is unsuitable for raising children. If the bio dad has any contact with the child, it would be unwise to say things that would bias her against him.
2006-07-01 20:31:54 · answer #3 · answered by subbie4gb 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the child is very young you can just say how lucky it is to have two daddy's. I agree with the rest of the answerer's, never be negative. I told my daughter when she asked at age 5 about this, that her daddy was the man who read to her at night and her father was the man who helped to make her so very special.
2006-07-01 20:36:46 · answer #4 · answered by Red 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should never be negative. Explain to her that only he (her bio daddy) can tell her why he gave her up, and that no matter what that it is important that she knows that the man who adopted her loved her enough to make her his own. Explain to her how rare that love is in this world, and that it will always be there for her.
2006-07-01 20:29:42 · answer #5 · answered by Artistic Prof. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that is a really tough one. depending on how old she is especially. if she is a little young, just tell her that her daddy adopted her. she may not understand what that means yet. If she is not young and old enough for you to explain this to her, there is not really any easy way to tell your daughter that. the best would be the truth. tell her that is hard for you to tell her this because you love her, and her daddy loves her, but sometimes things in life like this happen. He sounds pretty pathetic to me, but I have been there. best wishes.
2006-07-01 20:29:30 · answer #6 · answered by singitoutloudandclear 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The prior answer said it best, however, when explaining to your daughter tell her, her daddy adopted her, her "bio" father didn't want her. Daddy's want thier kids.
2006-07-01 20:31:30 · answer #7 · answered by sailingmariner 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My nephew was adopted by his stepfather when he was six, and he has not seen or heard fromhis birth father since he was about one day old. He knows that his birth father helped to make him, and that the birth father could not stay and take care of him. (We don't say the "didn't want you" part.) My nephew's mom and stepdad got married when he was three years old, so he already had a strong relationship with his stepdad... and when he was going to be adopted, his mother talked to him about getting a chance to choose a "new" dad since his birth father couldn't be there for him. His mother was certain that my nephew would want to "choose" his stepdad, but she left it up to him whether or not he wanted to be adopted. Now he is 9 and takes it for granted that he has a birth father and a Daddy who adopted him... He knows his birth father was Mexican and he sees pictures of him and hears stories about him, but Daddy is the one he loves.
Good luck!
2006-07-03 16:59:26 · answer #8 · answered by angelsister23 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with the first few posts. My Nephew is in the same boat as your daughter. He knows his biological father NEVER took any responsibility in his life and that his REAL father is the one who raised him, but he wasn't told that until he was old enough to understand. He is now 22 and he is a wonderful, happy person who suffers nothing from the knowledge. Good luck! I am sure when the time is right, everything will go fine.
2006-07-01 20:34:21 · answer #9 · answered by havasufem 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Put it in a positive light. Emphazise the fact that her current adoptive father loves her so much that she decided to adopt her instead of placing focus on her biological father. She is better of being with someone who cares for her, and that's what she needs to know.
2006-07-01 20:28:44 · answer #10 · answered by ninjadanielsan03 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋