I do not get along with my mother in law because she is very nosy and like get into our private buisness, and more, she likes to tell everyone about anything that she finds out about my husband and I so i have no privacy.
It is really making me sick of her, I do not like visiting her, I do not like chatting with her but all the same I do not want to hurt my husband so i do not complain but all the same he notices that I am silent around her and comments on it.
2006-07-01 19:31:24 · 13 answers · asked by Gal in red 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
That's quite a problem and it's very understandable that you don't want to talk around your mother-in-law, but you've already noticed that your silence is having a negative effect on your marriage.
Perhaps you could prepare some areas of conversation about which you feel "safe". You could talk about what's going on in the world, about books you've read, and you can keep a mother-in-law endlessly chattering if you ask her advice about things. Maybe she'd like to tell you (again) about what a wonderful child your husband is, maybe she'd like to tell you (again) about something that happened to her when she was starting out in her marriage, maybe she can (again) advise you about what color to paint the livingroom or teach you how to make some dish that your husband always liked when SHE was looking after him.
Keep it kind of on subjects that you don't worry about, and good luck to you!
2006-07-01 19:38:58 · answer #1 · answered by LC 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could try telling your hubby that you want things to work out between you & your m-o-l, don't want any hard feelings between you & m-o-l, & you need him to understand that you're not attacking or criticizing her when you discuss what's happening because of the problems concerning yours & his private matters.
No doubt, it's very embarrassing to know that she's telling other people about your privacy. It's like they take a person's laundry (if there were stained undies) & hang them on a clothesline in the front yard, for all the world to see.
In other words... there are just certain things that we don't want shared with the rest of the world.
We all need privacy, even your hubby.
Just because she is his mother & he is her son, it doesn't make it right for her to pry into the private life you & your hubby have... the reason why it's called "privacy" is because it's>>> private.
Private means>>> confidential, personal, hush-hush, secret, not public.
2006-07-01 19:57:28 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am in the SAME situation. The best thing to do, is this....When your husband is around, just put up with it. All in all, that is his mother, and he loves her unconditionally. But when he's not around, try not to spend to much time with her. I know it's hard, because nobody wants their privacy invaded. But some mother in laws are just difficult like that. I'm sorry you have to go through this! I always thought I was the only one LOL
2006-07-01 19:36:37 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
nosy mother-in-laws are a universal phenomenon, so whats' new? atleast you are not staying together! so the best way to deal with this is, feed her some data from time to time, about irrlevent matters, try to be courteous with her, rather than being cold, aloof and withdrawn, which is not going to help. so change your gears,baby!
in old age, due to lack of gainful activity, people are bound to be nosy as you say, so treat it skillfully. lack of communication is making her more and more intrusive, so learn to communicate with her. take some thing for her when you next visit her, ask about her health, makher a member of the senior citizen's club or some thing, which will give her an access to meet others, and naturally, the focus would shift. take her to see monster-in-law, the hilarious movie! but don't ever think of drugging or poisoning her, please!
2006-07-01 19:47:25 · answer #4 · answered by palador 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know just how you feel...Imagine having to live with your mother-n-law!! My husband lost his job and we got kicked out of our apartment and we had no one else to stay with...It is the worst time of my life...I think I would rather be living on the street then with this woman...And we are in a one bedroom apartment so there is zero privacy!! So things could always be worse...I would try being honest with your husband you don't have to be mean about it just honest...Hope everything works out for you..Good luck.
2006-07-01 20:17:47 · answer #5 · answered by Kelly 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, don't say anything bad about his mom or dad because it'll always come back to haunt you. Second of all, try to reach out to her. You would be amazed how they will respond. She might think that you don't like her. Start trying to talk to her and open up and hang out and the next thing ya know........you're like best friends. If she's that bad all together, just go and hang out and don't be shy, talk and enjoy yourself. Again, she might take your quietness as not liking her.
2006-07-01 19:38:30 · answer #6 · answered by Jennifer S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make friends with her. It is the fastest way to stop her in her tracks. Besides, life is so much easier and nicer when you get along, just wait til you have kids; then she'll REALLY be in your business! Good luck and have fun!
2006-07-01 19:38:22 · answer #7 · answered by Kryztal 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him the truth about it.
i know i told mines. i can't stand her!! i hate her. seriously, she's horrable and nosy too. So i just told him so he tries his best to make things work but he also understands and doesn't try to push it. Good Luck.
2006-07-01 19:35:31 · answer #8 · answered by namalstar_14 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him.then tell him to tell her.but know she is going to hate you for it.or you could just not answer by respectfully saying thats a personal matter mother dear
2006-07-01 20:09:26 · answer #9 · answered by rickeymccombs@verizon.net 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
mother in laws are that way
they think they are going to do sumthing bad and are allways suspicious
2006-07-01 19:34:50 · answer #10 · answered by talktokrish12 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋