why am I like this?

Question

I sometimes will really have to control myself when dealing with my kids.I will find myself wanting to punch them in the face,I have a 9 yr,5 yr and a 6 month old.I find the older I get the more they irritate me.I have never done it,But I worry I will lose my temper ,and I do'nt want to do that.I love my kids.Help me understand how to reduce my anger please.

folks I cant afford a shrink!! I barely make the mortgage!!

Answer 1

well u love your kids and u want them to know what right and what wrong so that when they get older they don't mess up there life in a bad way. the bible said that u should train your child in the way that u don't hurt them but love them

Answer 2

Allways remember YOU ARE THE MASTER OF THEIR WORLD it's you that controls all!
the hand that rocks the cradle rules the world. Let them show some character revel in there strength! be pleased with how hard a baby can cry! don't stifle them so bad that you raise a bunch of victim's. they will need every ounce of strength when they're grown. As far as the day to day stuff raising a hand to them will only bring resentment. For the classic infractions pick a punishment and STICK TO IT, DO NOT RELENT once they get it thru their nuckle heads you aint fooling around they will come around. Make bad behaviour seem meaningless I had a yelling problem I just told the yeller that there just not convincing me I even gave out scores like 3.0 or 4.5 when it seems it doesn't mean anything to you it will lose meaning to them. It takes a while but it works. and if it's in a public place let em rip don't be embarassed whoever's there can bite you. Also never never punish in anger. Once the deed is done it's done they're azz is your's and theres no need for anger. Allways punish with a smile that way they will know what they did won't get under your skin. and never never tip your hand as it were, do your best to never show anger cause that will let them know what they did works. Substitute anger with sorrow
act like they've hurt your feelings down to the bone make them feel so bad about what they did that it about kills them and play it hard. Make them your friend like your best buddies to. Allways remember you rule no matter what!! Also yes as you get older the more nerves they will get on It's normal thats why they don't like kids in retirement communities. I myself don't think I could do it again.

Answer 3

Anger management classes............and sounds like you might need some fun time with your children. Are you a Dad that works alot and doesn't get to enjoy just playing with your children? Maybe you need to wind down from work and then able to deal with the goings on of home. You might need some time to go to a gym and workout as that is a great way to reduce stress and release those great endorphines that make us feel good. Also, if you can't afford a gym then you need to go for walks, jogs and just have some exercise/de-stress time. I assume you have a wife...talk to her and tell her what you are feeling..for your childrens & your sake...talk to someone. You might even talk to your Dr. if this is something new that you have never experienced before. There is help....and it doesn't always cost $...don't give up, just keep on it until you get relief.

Answer 4

Mens everyday lives are full of stress, with work, traffic, dealing with home problems, bills etc...

Perhaps on especially stressful days, phone home first and explain to your wife, sitter, whoever, You have had a bad day, Could they put the kids to bed, and you will look in on them when you get home give them a hug...Or something to this affect...

You seem to know when you are about to lose your temper...So avoid any situation that could cause you to lose it, be going out for a long walk alone, hiding in the bathroom, putting on head phones and retiring to your room alone, for as long as it takes...

Kids are Kids as you know, and it doesn't get any easier as they grow older...But as they get older they learn to understand, dad needs quiet time, also...

You're normal - there is nothing to understand - it is only being able to deal with it, and you have been dealing with it so far...

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Answer 5

You can reduce your temper by telling them to stop what they are doing that irritates you. If they do not stop, then you just need to get away. Sometimes, I have to take care of my brother's kids and yes, I feel your pain...sometimes, they are too irritating! But remember that's how kids are. We were like them, too. Oh, try playing with them or just give them our attention; they act well that way. Hope that helps.

Answer 6

the first thing is being aware of how close to the edge you are, which you are aware of. i would recommend talking to a doctor who could point you in the right direction for someone to talk to that will totally listen to you! is popping in to a church an option for you cos they quite often have programs your kids could attend for a break and lovely, nice people to chat with.
you need to take the initiative here and do something to ease the strain your under, its so important to look after and nurture yourself when we are parents, it gives us a breath of fresh air to deal with the kids. books from the library are a good option for reading on parenting skills, taking the kids outdoors diffuses many a situation too, a walk is always good too.
its the simple things that can diffuse the situation, but please do something for yourself, i promise you will have that renewed energy for the kids....

Answer 7

go to a professional counseler/ phsycologist, you are on a fine line.

Kids are a bundle of joy and terror all at the same time.

Ignore the two religous fanatics!!!!! get yourself on the way to recovery, and if you find comfort in your religion by all means use it but it is not the answer.

Answer 8

Look in the phone book white pages and see if you have a local chapter of Parents Anonymous. Its a group that can defuse your emotions and they will talk to you on the phone incognito. Call them first thing.

Answer 9

Talk to someone. You must be a good parent or you wouldn't be able to control yourself. Talk to a councilor and see what else is going on. Are you under stress? Any changes in your life? Moving, new job? A new baby is a lot.
God luck.

Answer 10

GO TO JESUS! Then get anger management counseling and find out what the root of the problem is and fast unless you want to end up in prison.