I just don't understand because this seems to be a re-occuring pattern. I will even feel I may love the man BEFORE he tells me and then once he does I have a hard time feeling anything back for him at all and I do a bit of a panic. I don't want to keep pulling the "runaway bride" routine, I want to be able to love back the great men who love me once they tell me.
2006-07-01 17:32:20 · 9 answers · asked by puffjonesforpresident 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I don't know if this will help you at all but I have a friend( and yes it really is my friend) who was like this for a really long time until she realized that it was the thought of being held back that scared her about being loved. She grew up in a home where her mother had rerally high hopes of being a singer when she was younger and definitely had the talent to back it up, but she fell hard for a guy and the guy fell hard for her( hence how Amy came to be in existence). Her mom dropped everything to follow her dad through his career, being the gentle stay at home mom I have come to know and love. Amy saw how miserable her mom was in her choices. She never complained about her life but there has always been this look in her eyes and this deep sadness that follows her wherever she goes.Amy has high aspirations too and it took her a really long time and a little help from a therapist to realize that she was afraid she would turn out llikee her mom if she gave in to love. She now is starting to understand that she doesn't have to be afraid,she can have all that she wants in life and have someone to share it with too.
Another thing too that I know from experience is that when I have been told that the guy loves me it makes me nervoous to be put in such high regard, like being put on a pedastool. It's so much easier to fail someone who has expectations of you, but you have to let that go and know that if they truly love you you can't fail and if you do they will be there to catch you when you fall.
2006-07-01 17:49:16 · answer #1 · answered by halucinajenn 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you are setting yourself up for it. Don't over analyze too much, and don't pre think what will happen once a guy tells you he loves you, just let it happen. If you truly don't feel anything at all when he says that, then maybe you don't love him, but maybe you should try talking to a professional about this, you may have some underlying anxiety issue too. Anyway, good luck, and I hope you find true love, it's a beautiful thing.
2006-07-01 17:40:04 · answer #2 · answered by jensarquist 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its the challenge of getting him to say he loves you and then when he does you back down because maybe you feel OK I got him to say it now this is real what should I do. I know I ve been there. I love you is a power full thing and should not be taken lightly so hang in it will get easier and know that i love you also comes with alot of great benefits when you know its the one you will feel it every where and it is the best feeling in the world.
2006-07-01 18:08:34 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think it has sumthin to do with past relationships where you've been hurt by a boyfriend u once loved that you go in to a panic now when u hear it. In your mind ur ready and u kno he's ready but the sound of hear it makes u panic. It's not gonna be like dis forever but give sumtime
2006-07-01 17:39:40 · answer #4 · answered by Na3-Na3 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Fear. Fear of getting hurt? Fear it won't work out? If you love him, go for it. Follow your heart. Love like you've never been hurt. If you're not sure, and he's a great man, then give it time to blossom.
2006-07-01 17:38:21 · answer #5 · answered by wondering in michigan 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm guessing you have had a bad experience in your history. If this problem is really being a problem, you should seek therapy. I'm guessing some kind of problem with you dad...but it's just a guess.
2006-07-01 17:37:18 · answer #6 · answered by Rabbit Ritto 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Subconciously you're probably just scared of being hurt. I understand, I'm kinda cold to that crap too.
2006-07-01 17:36:55 · answer #7 · answered by SugaNuts 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you grow up those symthoms will go away
2006-07-01 17:36:59 · answer #8 · answered by wiseornotyoudecide 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Relax there is nothing to fear..Go with it
2006-07-01 17:41:59 · answer #9 · answered by Mrs. M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋