2006-07-01 16:40:26 · 45 answers · asked by sam f 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
my son is 16
2006-07-01 16:44:42 · update #1
Depends on how old he is.
2006-07-01 16:43:52 · answer #1 · answered by sweet & sour 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have an idea that no one here has mentioned. Why not talk to his mother about it BEFORE you go calling in the lawyers and courts..like many here have suggested.
My 12 year old son lives with his father. His approached me about it. I am remarried and now have a 3 year old son as well. My 12 year old has lived with his father since he was 8. WE made the decision together that it was okay. His father loves him dearly and even though we may not get along well...we have one thing in common and that is the love we share for our son. We always said that no matter what that we would put him first. I feel happy that my son has a father to live with and wants him there with him. He is a great dad. I give him that. My son is here with me now for the summer and he's with me for holidays (we live in separate states). I also fly to see him regularly. A boy needs a father especially at the age of 12 and up. Only a man can teach a boy how to be a man. A mother can not. Of course, my husband--his stepdad is a great influence on him also but he understands that my son has a father and a good one too so he doesn't try to override that. So far So good...and we did it without getting the courts involved. That's not necessary unless there is a problem and you can't communicate with her. Also, children will play both sides if you let them. You son could think that the 'grass is greener' on your side of the fence but once he's with you full time he will see that you have rules (I hope) as well. Since he may see you part time now ...you may be nicey nice all of the time while the mom has to deal with all of his 'crap' on a regular basis---so maybe he's mad at mom. He may come to live with you and then decide he wants to go back to live with her. Don't let him rule you. You are the parents and ultimately YOU both decide where he lives. He has few choices at his age.
2006-07-01 17:03:32 · answer #2 · answered by S. E 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This depends on the legalities of the system that you have to go through with the courts in the county that you all live in. If she was granted permanent custody, then it is going to be a battle. You need to go back over what ever documents you have from court or lawyer or whatever the case may be. If you have not been to court to solve this or get to the bottom of this, you probably will. If you do not want to fight the legal system, then you might have to wait another 2 years until your son turns 18 and can at that time, make his own decisions, because he would be considered at the legal age of adulthood.
2006-07-13 13:53:51 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would take a few minutes and find out why he wants to live with you instead of his mother.
I am sure you are a wonderful father.. just wondering why he decided this.
1: How old is he and how long has he been living with his mother
2: Which home is better for him?
3: Did an event happen that cause him to make this decision. (are you recently divorced?
I know you would love to have your son there with your everyday.. but you have to think about what would be best for him.....
2006-07-01 16:46:28 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The three of you should get together and talk about it. He is old enough to voice his opinion. Hopefully, the situation can be resolved through a family conversation and not the courts.
I let my 16 year old son live with his father after he approached me and asked. I hated letting him go, but I wanted to give him a chance to see what it would be like.
Granted, I know nothing about your situation but wouldn't it be worth a try?
I hope everything works out for the best.
Good luck:)
2006-07-15 13:01:27 · answer #5 · answered by Cricket 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How old is your son? Do you know why he wants to live with you instead of Mom? Is your son angry with Mom because she is trying to discipline him and he wants to come and live with you? Is this a recent divorce? You must ask yourself are you capable of being a good father and all the responsibilities that come with it? I would suggest talking with Mom to find out what is going on. Maybe you and the Mom can work this out with your son and have joint custody. If not, the courts can help you out.
2006-07-01 16:54:43 · answer #6 · answered by ADRIENNE S G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First I would have a conversation with your ex and your son and talk about it, If she knows why he wants to live with you she may not object. This would be the best solution, if that doesn't work you are going to have to go to court to get this resolved. This will ultimately cause the most conflict between your son and his mother that is why it is important to try the first suggestion first
2006-07-15 07:42:52 · answer #7 · answered by Joy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it could be good for him. Just make sure he isn't doing it because he doesn't like the chores, curfews, or other rules his mom is setting. These are things that you need to support also. I know I choose which parent I wanted to live with when I was in 4th grade. After that I pretty much decided if I was going to see them and when. I can also say that each time I moved it was to avoid something (Moving, Mom's Drinking, A second divorce) so you should probably make sure that that isn't going on. I wish I had stuck it out instead of moving back and forth.
2006-07-14 09:02:51 · answer #8 · answered by Irish lady 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok well my son is 15 and lives with me so I know its tough. Are you at the point you can talk to your ex? I cant stand my ex but talk to him where the kids are involved. A few months back my son and I had a huge fight and he wanted to go but his dad didn't want the responsibility and now they hardly talk.
You both need to work something out for his sake or he may end up taking off on his own and he's way too young for that.
Communication is the key
2006-07-01 16:53:28 · answer #9 · answered by kandy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends on his age, and your state laws. My ex-husband and I were able to get custody of his daughters, b/c their mom got busted w/ drugs. But, in some states that law allows the child to decide if they are over 12, anyway. Better make sure that he is serious about that decision, and not just mad at mom temporarily. You'll need to get a lawyer, expect to pay pretty hefty legal fees for a custody case, and make sure that your son is prepared to talk to the judge or a court appointed social worker during the hearing, just in case. Good luck, and remember it's all about what's best for the child.
2006-07-01 16:48:46 · answer #10 · answered by jessvangogh 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to court and get joint cousty and try to get the primary cousty so he can live with you but it really depends on the age of the child that becomes a factor who knows if he lives with you and then decides he wants to move back in with his mom this happend to a friend of mine and the court decided that since the child couldnt choose that the child would be put in foster care and would get to visit the dad one weekend and the next the mom it was real confusing. Thank goodness the foster care was a friend and would let the parents visit but never together.
2006-07-15 15:02:58 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋