I have a son.... My boyfriend has a daughter and 2 adopted kids from his prior wife. Should I even bother having kids with him since there are alot of them as it is ?
2006-07-01 15:56:54 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
Here's an update. The kids ages are my son 5 His daughter is 7 and the twins are 5. But his kids live in Texas And will only visit but I'm worried more on how much is going to be spent more then the kids itself. They will only come to visit since we'll be in Colorado. We do plan to marry when his divorce papers come. The adopted kids are his ex wifes kids whom he adopted cause there dad was going to jail and she asked him to adopt them after they were separated he's just the type of guy. Jobs are a bit fussy now I don't work and neither does he right now. He just got out of the navy and is going to be a fireman again. So our living will be with the parents for now. And I have known him for 3 months lmao. But we love eachother very much. Hope I answered everything.
2006-07-01 16:24:29 · update #1
Ok I hear alot of not if your not married being married doesn't change a thing. People get divorces you know. So how does that apply?
2006-07-01 18:48:20 · update #2
if you both think so JUST DO IT yeeeee hhaaaaaa good luck
2006-07-01 16:01:15 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
What is the situation with the 2 adopted children. Did he adopt them and will he be playing an important part in their lives? Or were they from a previous marriage his ex-wife had and they have a father? Or his ex-wife adopted them and he does not feel too connected and has no obligation nor will to support them?
If he only has his daughter and you only have your son and/or money is not a major restriction, then I see that having one kid or more is the natural evolution of your relation. If you guys really go for the long haul, it would even be strange not to want kids.
2006-07-01 23:11:49 · answer #2 · answered by leblongeezer 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think there is more to consider than the number of children you already have. Finances and living space should be considered as well as the relationship between you and "boyfriend". I mean do you plan on marrying? If he left you tomorrow would he take care of the child financially and be a part of the child's life? Do you have enough room for 5 children? Could y'all afford to support another child? If he left and didn't support the child - could you do it without him? Don't get the cart before the horse.
2006-07-01 23:05:52 · answer #3 · answered by pottersclay70 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have 7 kids and 4 men. Having kids with each new husband seemed to be the beginning of the end. They are wonderful stepfathers until their own child was born and the world revolved around them. Plus I noticed that he would not be as hard on OUR kids as he was on MY kids and THAT causes MAJOR problems. Be happy with your own and he with his and above all, stay out of the way of other parents parenting of their own child. They WILL resent you for it. Boundary lines. They must respect you but leave the discipline up to the bio parents no matter what your opinions are and if you have issues that are so impossible to accept then the marriage wont last.
2006-07-01 23:03:12 · answer #4 · answered by Mom of 7 gramma of 3 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should wait for a while (couple of years) and see how everbody getting along and if everything goes as per your desire and you get married to the guy and you feel like having a kid with him then why not...........but I think first you need to wait and see how the life is going with all those kids living under same roof.
2006-07-01 23:12:00 · answer #5 · answered by QUEEN OF QAAF 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't let the prospect of a lot of kids keep you from having more. Children cement a relationship; once you're committed, having a child with his genes is such a blessing. However, if he's your boyfriend, he hasn't committed to you. Unless marriage isn't important to you, I wouldn't recommend having a child unless you two have made that total committment to each other.
2006-07-01 23:00:33 · answer #6 · answered by b30954 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just curious. Have you met this guy in person? You seem like you really don't know much about him,and keep adding details. Make sure he is telling you the truth. The choices will have to be made by the two of you.
2006-07-03 02:13:23 · answer #7 · answered by nativeamericantay 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you think you want to have a child or children together go for it. Mixed families have unique challenges, but you already have that. My brother has 3 kids from his first marriage, his wife has 1 child from her first marriage and they have 2 together. I think he's nuts with 6 kids, but go with your heart. If you can take care of them and you both want them...have them! (but get married first)
2006-07-01 23:03:19 · answer #8 · answered by alphme 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're not married to this guy, then I'd say not to have any kids. You both already have kids of your own, so why go there. It sounds like you have a housefull as it is.
2006-07-01 23:00:24 · answer #9 · answered by brazilnut76 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think maybe you should wait.if you were ready you wouldn't be asking us that question.how long have you been together? how old are the kids? are you planning on getting married? big factor.children are a blessing there can never be to many if your prepared to care for them.
2006-07-01 23:08:16 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you have time for all these kids, and I mean quality time? Each child needs alone time with their parents and if you have that many children already I assume you work!
2006-07-01 23:10:27 · answer #11 · answered by amd730 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋