2006-07-01 15:38:05 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Someone in my class told me this.
I'm sorry if you support Bush but............anyways.
Bush was stranded on an island and a genie came to him and said,"You have two wishes. What is your first wish?" Bush said,"I wish I was back in the White House." Poof...He was in the White House. The genie said," What is your second wish?" Then Bush said," I Wish my people were happy." Poof...He was back at the island.
2006-07-01 17:03:21 · answer #1 · answered by GravityGirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A man goes to a pet shop, and buys a parrot. When he gets home, he is delighted to realize it can already talk, but isn't so thrilled about its language. As the day goes on, the bird's swearing just gets worse and worse, until finally he has had enough and decides to punish it. He opens the cage, takes the bird out and unceremoniously shoves it into the freezer, slamming the door. He waits a half-hour or so, then opens the freezer again. The bird is shivering like crazy, but fine.
"Look, about the cursing thing, I'm really sorry," it says, "and I promise not to do it again. I just have one question, though."
"What's that?," the man wants to know.
"What exactly did the chicken do?"
2006-07-01 23:20:20 · answer #2 · answered by Sheba 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
An Illinois man left the snow-filled streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day.
When he reached his hotel in Florida, he decided to send his wife a quick e-mail. Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had written her e-mail address, he did his best to type it in from memory. Unfortunately, he missed one letter on the address and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher's wife whose husband had passed away only the day before.
When the grieving widow checked her e-mail, she took one look at the monitor, let out a loud scream, and fell to the floor in a faint. At the sound, her family rushed into the room, and saw this note on the screen:
DEAREST WIFE:
JUST GOT CHECKED IN.
EVERYTHING IS PREPARED FOR YOUR ARRIVAL TOMORROW.
P.S. SURE IS HOT DOWN HERE...
2006-07-01 23:05:01 · answer #3 · answered by anne 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
(if there are any blondes on this site I'M SORRY)once there was a redhead a brunette a blonde in the forest and they were starving.one day the redhead went hunting and came back with a giant rabit.the brunette and the blonde were surprised by this catch and they asked"how did you catch that? "I found the tracks,followed them and chout the rabbit!!"the brunette was very impressed so the next morning she went out hunting and came back with a deer!!the redhead abd the blonde wheresurprised and asked "how did you catch that? "I found the tracks, followed them and chout the deer!!"the blonde was impressed and the next day she went out hunting but came back full of blood and half dead.the others asked"what happened?" "i found the traks followed them and got hit by a train!!"(i'm sorry blondes for insulting you)
2006-07-01 23:41:42 · answer #4 · answered by karrottu 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here are a few things to think about:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Can you cry under water?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What disease did cured ham actually have?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If Wiley E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the window?
2006-07-01 22:55:20 · answer #5 · answered by ♥♪♫[K]ath² [BUTT '14 ツ]♫♪♥™ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Q. Why do black widow spiders kill their mates after sex?
A. To stop the snoring before it starts.
2006-07-01 23:14:07 · answer #6 · answered by dizzyduckie1974 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A man is working in a store, stocking shelves, when a duck walks in. He walks over to the guy, taps him on the shoulder and asks, "Got any grapes?"
The guy is baffled but answers "No, we don't have any grapes."
The duck walks out.
20 minutes go by. The same duck walks into the store, walks up to the guy, taps him on the shoulder and asks, "Got any grapes?"
The guy answers him "No, we still don't have any grapes."
The duck walks out.
20 minutes later, the duck walks in again. He goes up to the guy, again taps him on the shoulder and asks "Got any grapes?"
By now the guy is exasperated but still answers "No, I told you, we don't have any grapes".
The duck walks out.
20 minutes later, the duck walks in, goes up to the guy, taps him on the shoulder and asks, "Got any grapes?"
The guys loses it. He screams at the duck, "NO WE DON'T HAVE ANY GRAPES...AND IF YOU ASK ONE MORE TIME, I'M GOING TO NAIL YOUR FEET TO THE FLOOR!!"
The duck walks out.
20 minutes later the duck walks in, goes up to the guy, taps him on the shoulder and asks, "Got any nails?"
"No"
"Got any grapes?"
2006-07-01 23:34:44 · answer #7 · answered by dawntywana 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
im not racise or anything but
what do you call a empty pool with black people in that?
answer is"coco puffs"
2006-07-01 22:46:03 · answer #8 · answered by Grack 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what do pigs put on their cuts? oinkment!!!
2006-07-01 22:46:45 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋