Is it really possible to forgive and forget. The forgiving part is no problem...I have a problem forgetting very hurtful things said. I was told he didn't mean it. Guess I should give more facts! About a month ago we had a huge falling out. He told me, he never really meant all those times he told me, he'd kill me. He was scared of losing me. Since then he's never said anything like that again...but...I do remember...so, is it possible? The relationship is at a stand still because I really can't forget the threats...Maybe I shouldn't forget them.. but they should go to the back of my mind?...yes, I know, I sound fuc*ed up, I'm rather feeling that way as well..confused...confused...
2006-07-01 15:23:31 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
this reminds me of a story i read that is very true...it baisicly said that when someone says something hurtfull, no matter how many times they apologize, there will always be a scar left behind,i believe its impossible to forgive and forget, but i believe it is possible to forgive and move on...it would most likely be a good idea to dump him, maybe sometime farther down the road u can be friends again...maybe
2006-07-01 15:30:57 · answer #1 · answered by pablo 1 · 4⤊ 0⤋
While I am a believer that people deserve a second chance --- not really in this case, especially as he REPEATEDLY threatened not only physical harm, but to KILL YOU. What has he done to indicate that he has changed apart from JUST SAYING that he is sorry?
Has he done anything for his anger management? Has he changed his lifestyle or talked to a counselor? If he was scared of losing you and did this before, what happens when he may feel the same way again?
Your "still remembering" is a warning that your mind is telling you to not accept this guy back. MAYBE, MAYBE, after he commits to counseling and anger management you might want to give him a chance, IF he shows significant change. If he does not agree to it, forget about him and consider yourself lucky you are not hurt and still alive . . . .
2006-07-01 22:32:17 · answer #2 · answered by LewAR26502 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forgive but never forget.
If he wants to be with you he will have to wait for you to heal. I do not believe what people say when they say "if he said it once, he'll keep saying it again". That is not true and I have MANY examples. If you two are relatively young (under 35) he will most likely learn from his mistakes and not repeat them again. This is where the "never forget" part comes in: if he does it again, you need to be prepared to leave, even if you both love eachother very much. Then it becomes abuse.
So, like I said, if he really cares about you, he will stick around for you to heal from his mistakes.
Best wishes.
2006-07-01 22:29:35 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Anybody who would even dare to say things like I'd kill you scared or not... You should really leave them. Do you not watch shows like Maury ??? Women who are with men who say things like that and apologize are signs of a bigger problem. And here come the women with stab wounds. Gun Shot wounds...Acid thrown on there faces by men they loved. Even killed cause they all took it as talk and didn't think the men would actually hurt them. You know what forget about it. He ain't worth it. I say Thank whatever god you want your still here and get out of that relationship
2006-07-01 22:32:24 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can always forgive someone for something, but forgetting is hard, especially threats on your life. End it, or it could cost your life in the future.
2006-07-01 23:05:33 · answer #5 · answered by turtle33 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No...don't trust again. My former husband killed himself. Threatened me and threatened my children. I left him and I was told the family doesn't divorce they kill. I am just glad after living in fear from him for so long, it was not me or my kids. I am sad for him, but it is better not to live in fear. Not only not give him a second chance but move to a place he can't find you.
2006-07-01 22:27:30 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think I would EVER be comfortable staying in a relationship where someone threatened to kill me. For your own health and safety, you should seriously consider moving on.
2006-07-01 22:26:59 · answer #7 · answered by lavenderroseford 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no dump him
2006-07-01 22:29:40 · answer #8 · answered by wwe fan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dump him ....now.
2006-07-01 22:26:41 · answer #9 · answered by ndmac 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋