Long story short: Dad goes on business trips 24/7. Never home for holidays like, Christmas, New Years..etc. This has been going on for almost 10yrs. Then out of the blue, he came back home with a kid. he said this was our " half-brother". He explained that he was drunk when he "accidentally slept" with one of the party friends he's w/. He lied about that, one of his friends called our house and told my mom that he & that woman is married overseas, and shes took dads money & left. Dad was not "sorry" about what he did, he told us that we have to accept him becasue he's one of "us", we are all a family. My mom was hyterical, I was so mad I almost killed my dad (I'm 16). He says he has no money, so he need to stay with us, (we are in a tight budget too, it's really hard to feed extra people). He now acusses me, that I am a bad big sister and that I treat him like crap ( I never did any of that, I can barely even look at him, so I ignore him) But I can't take it anymore, plz help?
2006-07-01 14:46:56 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Your father is a loser, but your half-brother shouldn't have to pay the price. He's been abused just like you have. Be careful you don't hold him responsible for his parents' actions.
You don't owe your father any respect, but don't give him ammunition by being cruel to the innocent bystander. Try to accept the boy with open arms. You'll be the better person for it.
Always act in a way that you can look back on with pride and without regret.
2006-07-01 14:56:34 · answer #1 · answered by tianjingabi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW! That's a lot for a 16 year old. How old is this brother. Put yourself in his position, his mother didn't want him. That's tough for any child. How does your mother feel. She has a say so to. But you can't expect your father to abandon his son, can you? It is the right thing to do, to take care of him. I have a half brother and sister too. If you can try to tolerate him as much as possible. You will not have to long before you 18. Ask GOD to help you through the tough times and he will. He will stand by your side when no one else will. Believe! 16 is a hard time, maybe you could get a part time job to help out with the money. You wouldn't have to be there all the time and it would give you a break to. Yes even teenagers need a break once in awhile. Good luck, I will pray for you.
2006-07-01 15:02:32 · answer #2 · answered by laurelbush28762 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have a similar situation. when i was 11, my dad was stationed at San Fransisco (hes in the Navy). about 2 1/5 years into his 4 year deployment he started acting strange . just after the 3 year mark, he told us he cheated on my mom, got a girl pregnant, and is requesting to be stationed at Pearl Harbor. the divorce hit the entire family hard ans separated my dads side from my moms side, with me and my younger sister as the only link between the two.
today he has yet to admit he has gotten married to this new girl, but we know he is supporting her mom and her other 2 kids, and now has a kid with her. so i know exactly how you feel.
unfortunately, there isn't much you can do. all you can do is take it in and not do the same thing when you get older. most likely, the family will never be the same again. but dint blame your half brother. i have a half sister (possibly more), so i also know how you might feel about that.
your about my age (I'm 15) so we probably have the same thinking rationale. never do anything that you will regret, and if necessary see a psychologist (you can say whatever you want and let everything off of your chest, and they will just sit there and listen) my story is a little different. my dad has all the money and lives with his new family, but hardly any of the money comes this way (i eavesdrop, cant help it).
everyso often my dad calls, expecting me to treat him as i would if it never happened. i dont. i dont even talk to him.
murdering your dad is a terrible way to release your anger (prison). try something different...depends on your interests.
2006-07-01 14:56:53 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you gotta understand is the your half brother is not to blame here. He's just as much a victim fo your dad's actions as you and your mom are. He is your blood, wether you like or not. Why not try and get out of the hard times together? Your father needs to realize he's 100% to blame here and try and do something to make things better for all of you. In the mean time, try to work together, help each other out. In the end, this situation will be dealt by your dad and mom, but whatever happens, just remeber that your brother has no blame in this, and if you're feeling this bad, imagine how he must be feeling at that age. Good luck and God Bless.
2006-07-01 14:53:28 · answer #4 · answered by ll_Zodiaco.Piton_ll 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow it's so much so fast. first don't be to hard on that boy he didn't do anything. you don't have to love him just don't hate him. and if money's tight i hope at least your dad is working and is helping out. some would say you can get a job and move out of the mad house. but you know your mom needs you. you have to start with you first. if you can't help yourself you won't be able to help anyone. and thought not right now eventually you'll have to forgive your father. sorry but there's no quick answer to your question. good luck and take care.
2006-07-01 14:53:45 · answer #5 · answered by Orselo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your dad had another family on the side. The real question is why your mom allowed it. You can move out in a couple years, but watch out; you will end up with a guy just like your dad if you don't resolve this issue for yourself.
2006-07-01 14:51:36 · answer #6 · answered by Pseudo Obscure 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry that you're dad hurt you this way. Pray to God guide you in making the right decisions and to change your dad for the better. If he is willing to change he deserves a second chance. I know it is difficult to forgive him. We all make mistakes and nobody's perfect. I don't think what he did was right. This happened because of the wrong choices and decisions your dad made. It is not this "kid's" fault that he couldn't control himself. Is your dad still working and trying to make things better? Don't kill him because 2 wrongs don't make a right. Your mom should put her foot down and not allow it to happen again. I will have you in my prayers. Trust that the Lord will guide you in making the wright decisions.
Don't find any man and marry him. Focus on your education and on the important things in Life. Wait for God to put someone in your life who will be worthy of you. Let Christ be your refuge.
2006-07-01 14:57:44 · answer #7 · answered by Cesi's_wisdom 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take a family vote and if everyone agrees, kick his punk *** out out the damn house. If u can't take it anymore, contact your closest friend or another close relative and stay with them ti'll u cool down. I hope your situation will get better, but if it doesn't, just don't to anything crazy
2006-07-01 14:52:18 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well don't take it out on your half brother, its not his fault
and your father, he sounds like a bad person, but you have to remember that he's your dad and you should love him unconditionally. i know its hard, but think about the people that don't even have a father, or a father that doesn't want them
talk to him and tell him how you feel... its the only way things will get better
2006-07-01 14:51:44 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk to your dad about how you feel, let him know that it hurt you to see him hurt you and your mom,he doesnt know and he thinks he can just walk into your life with this kid and think you will be ok with it. tell him you are not ok with it and that it is hard to trust someone that has cheated on thier mom and now want to accept it, no it will take time, you have to let him know or he will do this again and expect you to follow along and go with it.good luck.
2006-07-01 14:54:38 · answer #10 · answered by Christina 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋