my dad underestimates me in every walk of life. Is it so hard for him to accept that his 23 year old son is better than him in atleast some things? What should I do?
2006-07-01 14:44:42 · 17 answers · asked by Scottsman 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Just keep on doing your best. It's horrible that he doesn't want you doing better than him, because most parents hope that you'll be more successful. I mean, it's for their benefit because you'll be able to help them out in the future just like they helped you out with the first half of your life. Sure, it hurts to know your dad isn't motivating or enthusiastic about your rising success, but you have to realize you are living your own life. Make yourself happy, and hopefully one day he'll realize that it's not so bad after all.
2006-07-01 14:49:38 · answer #1 · answered by youdontknowme 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
join the club. I am the youngest in my family and my dad always underestimates me. I have gotten to the point where i keep on telling him that I know what i am doing and that he needs to stop treating me like a kid. He has changed his ways and doesn't interfere in things as much but the habit still exists. that will not change. All you can do is tell him what you feel and hope he understands.
2006-07-01 15:35:12 · answer #2 · answered by ratel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your father to go screw himself if he can't except your for u and that fact that u are better at some things. he's your dad, he shouldn't underestimate u. He should be proud. Ask him if he'd rather have u the way u r now, or trade u in for a lazy bastard of a son. Maybe that will wake his *** up!!!
2006-07-01 15:01:02 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There might be events where you are right, and your dad is wrong. However, there must be times where he is definitely right and you not.
Find a nice time to talk to him - starting with something which he is right and you are wrong. Then ask him how did he got it right. It will set the mood for which you can talk about those that you think you are right and he is wrong. Ask him how he would support his action for being in the wrong.
Always maintain your cool and ask nicely. This is to avoid a ugly conclusion.
Do not pick a fight as that will be seen as hooligan behaviour.
2006-07-01 14:55:42 · answer #4 · answered by JP E 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My mom's the same way. I guess my dad is too. They both encourage me to do things, and my mom undermines me and says I can't do it, when it's not done right or something. and she always feels that w/o her, I cant' do anything. She isn't proud even when I do. U'll just have to get used to it. The world would probably end before kids can make their parents proud of them and convince them that they can survive on their own. Just ignore ur dad...u know and are proud of ur accomplishments. It's disappointing when parents aren't proud or even acknowledge their kids accomplishments, but that's just how it is.
2006-07-01 14:58:39 · answer #5 · answered by Uncertain Soul 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think either all 'dads' are this way, or perhaps they just want to feel like they are your dads always. If I had a different mindset, I might allow this thinking to cloud my thinking of my dad, but I know he loves and respects me, even if he doesn't act like it. It's just a charade to put you in a place where he can feel like he will always be 'daddy' to you. But hopefully in time he will change. I think a lot of men do, as they get older.
2006-07-01 14:49:57 · answer #6 · answered by merlin_steele 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well at least he's family. There will always be someone who underestimates others. It's offensnive, but it happens. He should watch you do something that you're better than him, at doing and see for himself, that you're better at it.
2006-07-01 14:51:59 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your father is mentally unhealthy . This is his problem not yours. Simply because he does not give you his stamp of approval for your achievements does not make your achievements and less valid. Let his comments and remarks slide off your back since you now know he is mentally ill. Now you know what not to do when you are a father.
2006-07-01 15:42:03 · answer #8 · answered by lily 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is a hard question to answer. what a difficult place you must be in. reality is that you will NEVER be better at anything than your dad....and it is because that he is just your Dad. he will always know more than you and always be better at things than you just because of who he is. we know that you are younger than he is, but at the same time he still sees himself as always being stronger than you or better at whatever because he is the protector of you. it's just the way it is. let him have his time at being a father. you know in your head it is different, but what harm is there really?
2006-07-01 14:53:37 · answer #9 · answered by star77840 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Prove it. Don't just talk about it, desire it or wish it. Prove it to him.
What are you worried about anyway. You are 23 years old. You don't need his approval, unless you are still living at home, under his roof, eating his food, etc.
And why are you doing that? You are 23 years old?
2006-07-01 14:50:17 · answer #10 · answered by rb_cubed 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋