2006-07-01 14:30:42 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Harry and his wife are having hard financial times, so they decide that she'll become a hooker. She's not quite sure what to do, so Harry says, "Stand in front of that bar and pick up a guy. Tell him a hundred bucks. If you got a question, I'll be parked around the corner."
She's not there 5 minutes when a guy pulls up and asks, "How much?" She says, "A hundred dollars." He says, "All I got is thirty". She says, "Hold on," and runs back to Harry and asks, "What can he get for thirty?" "A hand job".
She runs back and tells the guy all the gets for thirty is a hand job. He agrees. She gets in the car. He unzips his pants, and out pops this HUGE penis. She stares at it for a minute, and then says, "I'll be right back." She runs back to Harry, and asks, "Can you loan this guy seventy bucks?"
2006-07-01 14:32:51 · answer #1 · answered by ♥Gilmore♥ 5 · 4⤊ 1⤋
5
2014-12-22 17:09:20 · answer #2 · answered by Bridget 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why To Date A Baseball Player:
1.We have great hands...
2.We're used to scoring no matter what base we're on...
3.We have tremendous endurance...
4. We always use a glove...
5.We don't stop until the job is done, and there is always extra innings...
6.We never strike out...
7.We like to touch everybase carefully...
8.We know how to use our wooden bat...
9.We don't mind diving face first into the grass...
10.We slide into home really hard...
2006-07-01 14:38:09 · answer #3 · answered by JEFF HARDY #1 FAN 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Coming Home Late
Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says, "You know, I don't know what else to do. Whenever I go
home after we've been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage.
I take my shoes off before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs, I get undressed in the bathroom. I ease into bed and my wife STILL
wakes up and yells at me for staying out so late!"
His buddy looks at him and says, "Well, you're obviously taking the wrong approach. I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up
the steps, throw my shoes into the closet, jump into bed, rub my hands on my wife's a_s_s and say, 'How about a B_J?' ... and she's always
sound asleep."
2006-07-02 19:54:20 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A newly married couple are driving off to their honeymoon getaway. As they're driving, the husband says to his new bride, "Honey, I have a confession to make. You remember a couple of weeks ago when we stayed at your folks' place, you were sleeping in your old room and I was in the guest room. Well, I remember you mentioning that you didn't wear anything to bed. So I waited 'til you were asleep, and I tiptoed in, and I lifted the sheet, and I took a little peek."
She said, "What did you think?"
He said, "I thought, I sure wish I had a camera."
She said, "What for?"
He said, "So I could take a picture."
She said, "And what would you do with it?"
He said, "I'd keep it with me so I could admire your beauty all day long."
She said, "Awww, that's sweet. Well, I have a little confession to make too. You remember last week when we stayed at your folks' place, you were sleeping in your old room and I was in the guest room. Well, I remember you mentioning that you didn't wear anything to bed. So I waited 'til you were asleep, and I tiptoed in, and I lifted the sheet, and I took a little peek."
He said, "What did you think?"
She said, "I thought, I sure wish I had a camera."
He said, "What for?"
She said, "So I could take a picture."
He said, "And what would you do with it?"
She said, "I'd have it enlarged."
2006-07-01 14:53:08 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
a little boy asked his mom if he could walk the dog his mom said no the little boy asked why and his mom said beacuse shes in heat he said ok and walked away, the little boy asked his dad if he could walk the dog his dad said sure just let me douse the dog in gas. 2 hours later the little boy came home with only a leash the mom asked weres the dog and the little boy siad oh she ran out of gas so another dog is pushing her home!!
2006-07-01 15:41:05 · answer #6 · answered by ilovegrapes123 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
A white horse fell in the mud! Hahahaha!
2006-07-01 14:40:32 · answer #7 · answered by angel_in_disguise930 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
me don't have dirty jokes
2006-07-01 15:37:27 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
a pig fell in the mud....dirty enough?
2006-07-01 14:36:01 · answer #9 · answered by www.badkitty 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
here is a start...
http://www.sciforums.com/showthread.php?t=35969&page=27&pp=20
2006-07-01 16:10:45 · answer #10 · answered by pyr0maniac 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋