Does age really matter so much in a relationship?

Question

I'm 16 (turning 17 in august) and i'm often told that I am mature for my age. People tell me im a great conversationalist,honest, smart, very open-minded and funny. I can get along with anyone, even if I don't really like them. I'm kind of always there for everyone. My problem is im starting to date this older guy who's 23. We have a lot in common. We both appericate art, nature,music, and film. Our political views on society and this world are pretty much the same. We're both into conspiracies, alternative history, law, and psychology. We can talk or discuss anything for hours. He thinks im amazing and perfect for him, and says he's never met anyone like me. The age difference that bothers us both. I know he's not the type who just wants to **** me, I know a lot of guys my age who are like that. I can read people pretty well and I have great intuition, but im not navie. Should I just stop seeing him because of the age difference? Does it really matter that much?

Answer 1

I don't think 7 years difference is a problem

Answer 2

This is a hard question to answer in your case. I, too, was always told that I was mature for my age. I dated someone even older than me than your boyfriend is from you. You two have a 5 yr difference; I dated someone 8 yrs older than I. I was 18, and he was 26. I had a great time with him, and neither of us was bothered with the age. Even my parents weren't. When he proposed to me, and I said yes, what worried them was that they saw that I didn't love him.

I ended up breaking up with him because he was too possessive, but I don't think it was the difference in ages that caused that. What made me bring up this story was what happened later. I'm 27, now, and I look back at our relationship with disgust. We didn't do anything that would be disgusting to society, like poop in public places or anything. But I think of myself dating a high schooler, as he did at my age, and that's just... gross. I would never do that, no matter how mature the high schooler was. The difference in where we are in life is just too great. I ended up deciding there must've been something emotionally "off" about my former fiance, because he was ok dating a high school after he'd graduated from college.

Now, your situation is different. Your guy is closer to you in age. And he's still at an age where guys mature slowly; he could be barely out of high school maturity himself. And as you are mature for your age, you guys could be only a couple of "emotional years" apart; it's even possible that you are the elder, emotionally!

But those sitations are rare. Without knowing the two of you, I can't say for certain. I can say that your parents, believe it or not, are a good soundboard for that sort of thing. Do your parents seem to like him, or are they only polite when he's around? Would you want to date a guy who's 5 yrs younger than you? Even 3 yrs younger than you? Look at the emotional difference, and decide if you think it's "ok".

In the end, I do not think that a 5 yr age difference is enough, on it's own, to warrant breaking up with him. Yes, it's a reason to take a closer look at why you two are dating. Well, you know why you're dating him, so a closer look at why he's dating you. Really listen to what he doesn't say, too, and see if you can disern anything he's leaving out of this sort of discussion. 5 yrs isn't a reason to break up, but 5 yrs may cause some differences, and those differences may be a reason.

Answer 3

17 vs 23? What's the problem. Seven years difference is great! Females are more mature than males so you are probably at the same level - mentally. Its not the age is the gauge of how much you enjoy being with each other. When you are 27 and he is 34 - it will be ideal! Go with your instincts. However I can't help but feel if you have to ask about it - you may not be that comfortable in the relationship! If you are - Go For It!

Answer 4

Wow he was what 6 maybe 7 when you where born? Six or seven years is not a big age difference, just wait for a couple years before having sex with him or else make dam sure no one knows or can find out if you do. They could really mess his life up over you if they( the law) found out he did. Just go slow and time will tell you if it is right or not. I'm 20 years older than my wife and we have been married for 10 years, so I don't really think you have much of a age difference.

Answer 5

6 or 7 years may seem like a lot right now but it's really not. When you are 40 he will be 47. So what? I say if you have that much in common then have fun with it. Age is just a number and you sound much older than any 16 year olds I've talked to latley. Enjoy your man it sounds like you two really click.

Answer 6

Age is only a number!!!! I hate how every1 thinks that age is something that can tie u down, it's not! I'm ur age, and I have dated older women, to most guys they think"Score man u got an older lady wit more experience to PLEAZ ya!" that really isn't it. Women like mature men, and there is nothing wrong with that. men honestly, I am 1 and I know, we are not as mature as most women(most of us arent)! I say stay wit him if he makes u happy, if he isn't makin u happy then leave him, but don't let any1 try 2 tell ya that age is a good reason to dump a person!

Answer 7

I agree with Rob K. Age difference doesnt matter if you are both consenting... There are certain limitations however... I mean a 15yr old girl with a 30 yr old man, is just plain wrong even if they are both consenting. Its 15 yrs difference. However, a 20yr old girl with a 35 yr old man is OK. There still is a 15 yr difference, but the 2 people are legal. Tough it out until ur 18. ;)

Answer 8

Usually, the older a person is, the more experiences that they have had about love so they usually know. There isn't a particular age as far as that, but give it time. I got married @ 19 and I am still with my husband who is the greatest man in the world!!

Answer 9

Your age difference is fine, but the only thing that you have to watch out for is the state that you live in and what is the legal age. You parents can hang him out to dry for rape if they want to.Once you become of legal age you have nothing to worry about at all. My own parents are 11 years apart and have been together for over 55 years. Good luck!!!

Answer 10

Hun...if I wasn't so old enough to be your grandfather...I'd snatch you up. For the record....if I ever met your boyfriend, we'd be the best of friends when it comes to culture. You too for that matter.
Although I don't condone teen and young adult relationships, stick this one out.
See how the two of you mature. Don't be in any rush to marry. I somehow suspect that with both your likes and interests, given time you'll make a perfect couple.

But...go to college first. It's a must for you and expand your horizons.

Good luck!