Would you consider this a sin?

Question

I have been having an affair with the pastor's wife for the past two years. Mary (not her real name) and I felt kind of bad about it for awhile. We have been sneaking around behind the pastor and all the church members. We have been successful in not being caught so far and are very much in love. Mary and I feel very blessed by God. We have prayed about it and feel that God understands, so we go on. We hope to get married some day. This pastor has been very verbally abusive toward my sweet lady and it's just not right. He also refuses to have sex with Mary. But we believe that the pastor has had several affairs of his own with some of the church ladies. They are always making personal appointments to see him in his office, alone! Including my ex-wife.

Tell me, how could God look at the love that Mary and I have and say it is sinful? And how could he not punish the pastor for being such an evil man?

God bless you for your sincere answer.

But we have only had oral sex! It is not a sin like regular sex is it?

Answer 1

You're full of it!! I've read to many of your posts.

Answer 2

Do you really sincerely believe that you and the pastor here are not going to be punished for the things you are doing now? Better look at the ten commandments and then see if you really think God is going to understand you comitting adultery. He understands all too well and will judge people according to what He wrote in the Ten Commandments. No matter what you may want to call it, what you are doing is lust, not love. Do you really think that if she will cheat on her husband now and then you marry her in the future, that she will not cheat on you? Get your mind out of your gonads and you will see that past behaviour is a good predictor of future behaviour. Believe me, I know. I fell for the same lie and later she found another just like I had been and she is now with the second guy from the one that took her from me and I am alone as I learned the hard lesson the hard way but I am back with God now and she is off doing God only knows what. Why did you say I do, when you married your ex in the first place and why did she say it if she did not want to stay with her husband, no matter how abusive he has been? Things like that can be worked out but you are going down the path to ruin and if you don't stop it now, you may never see Heaven either. Study your bible and see what it says. Read it daily and you will find you are in a very bad situation and getting worse by the day.

Answer 3

Okay, number one, sex is sex, whether its oral or not. Yes, sleeping with anyone's wife is a sin because they are married and God specifically talks about how adultery is wrong, no matter what the circumstances. Oh, and if there are so many affairs going on in your church that involve your pastor and his wife, I would suggest changing churches, just my opinion though if you want to know God better. There just seems to be too many distractions. Here is a passage, Romans 7:2-3, read it and tell me if you think its a sin. Have a nice day and I will be praying that God shows you and "Mary" the truth.

Answer 4

You've lowered yourself to sin just as much as the pastor! And you think God will wink at it? You're hiding and sneaking because you know it is wrong. If the pastor is sinning in adultery, that does not make it OK for you two to do what you are doing. Give it time and the whole thing will blow out of the water and the whole bunch of you will get hurt. I hope there are no kids involved in this on either side. What a horrible example of 'Christian love'!!! Zip your pants and run buddy.... or you're asking for lots of trouble...
God loves the sinner... but he sure hates the sin!
Judgment begins at the house of God....that's Bible!

Answer 5

Unfortunately because Mary is still married it is an affair and a sin in God's eyes. Now, if Mary were to divorce her husband, then God's forgiveness is only a repentance away, for both of you. Further, I do not belive that God would want Mary to stay in any type of abusive relationship, verbally or physically, which is exactly where she is. Not only is her husband verbally abusing her,he is physically abusing her by withholding the love, sex included, that he promised her on their wedding day. God created everyone with a sexual desire and her husband should be fulfilling his duty, but it is not your place to fulfill it while she is still married. As for the possible infidelities of the pastor, they may or may not exist. It is perfectly normal for parishioners, male and female, to seek one on one counsel from their pastor.

Answer 6

When Mary got married, did she or did she not promise to forsake all others...? What was her intent in making that promise...? If she only intended to say that she was so insane with love that she thought she could actually remain faithful her whole life long, she should not have been allowed to marry. Whom did she think she was deceiving...? God? Her husband? Herself? The in-laws...? Aren't these things sinful...?

Rest assured, the pastor will be punished to the degree and in the manner that is appropriate. I fail to see how oral sex is different than any other form of sex. She is not turning to her lawful spouse for fulfillment. If it is wrong for the pastor, it is wrong for you, too. Him doing it does not make it right for you. If he jumped into the lake of fire, would you do it, too? And that might be what it comes down to.

Answer 7

I believe that you and Mary are sinning, if her husband is abusive then she should leave instead of living a double life. If he is having affairs then he is in no position to be a pastor and should resign and repent. I would find proof that he is having affairs and then I would tell him to either resign and give her a divorce or you will bring it up in front of the entire church. God could not be pleased with anyone in this situation. She should either stay with her husband or leave. That is my sincere answer. May God give you guidance.

Answer 8

Adultery is a sin to God. Then again, so is practically everything.
I think that while what you're doing feels good, sneaking around and generally lying is a bad thing. You should come out at least, be truthful and stuff. Tell the pastor he's a bad person and stuff and that's why you're doing this.

Answer 9

I think that God gives you a situation to see how far you will take the wrong until you do right. If you really are the God fearing person you seem to be you know that in the end the Pastor will get his. You may not see it but he will. But then again if you expose him for what he is then you will see him get his. Honestly I think you and her are in the right maybe not according to the bible or anything but just right. Just be sure to correct the "kinks" of the situation like her getting divorced. Maybe that should have been her first thought when she came to you for comfort.

Answer 10

I yes it is a sin. As a church going member having read the Bible you should know that despite your feelings it is a sin. All sin is forgivable. Lucky for us all. She should divorce the pastor. You should marry her and I'd leave town. Also it is fair to note that it is Biblical for her to divorce him because he's abusive. It is not an excuse to have an affair. Good Luck you two.

Answer 11

I must say why bother going to church? Your Pastor, is only a pastor, because that how he makes his money. Pasturing is nothing more than a job to him. Let "Mary" go to the Pastor and ask for a divorce. Let's see how wonderful your little love affair is then.