How early should we talk to our kids about sex. My 8 year old wants to know about humping?

Question

and We don't mean the whale - seems a friend told him all about it. What should we do, other than curtail the friendship

Answer 1

The friend will only become more attractive if you ban the contact. What you need to do is put things in a perspective an 8-year-old can handle, and guide him/her about future conversations with friends.

Kids that age are FASCINATED with bodily functions. Remember, this is when poop and fart jokes, and being disgusting at the dinner table, are big deals. Will be for a while, too.

So it's time to apply your family values. Basically, don't try to make it a big deal, and don't come down hard on even being aware of things. But do explain the values you have, and try to let your child know that this is how grown-ups make babies. Explain in the words you find best that this is a subject you know is intersting and strange, but that it is not really going to matter much until he/she is much older.

You MUST show that you care about your kid's curiosity, and that it is acceptable to BE curious - and that you are open to talk about things. But please do not talk down to your young'un- don't just say, "wait until you are older." Now is the time the critter has opened Pandora's Box - you have to show that inside is hope, and not trouble for asking.

It is also time to have a chat with your kid's friend's parents.

Check out some of the books by Bruno Bettleheim about parenting - "A Good Enough Parent" is an excellent start. No matter how much we know or think we know, the help is always useful.

Good luck!

EDIT:

Now I have had the chance to read some of the other answers. some are pretty good, too. But for crying out loud, ignore the idiot who urged you to show him how it's done. That way lies disaster for everyone. Younger children often think - when the accidentally discover people "humping" - that someone is getting hurt, for example. This is terrible advice, for many, many reasons.

Answer 2

I am the mother of 5 children and also I have had 2 years of Early Childhood Education. When my children started asking questions I answered them. First I started at the age where they named body parts I gave them the correct names ( this helped them when they had to testify against their father, because they could describe exactly what happened). You should only give the child as much information as he needs to know for instance for a 8 year old who asks "What is humping?" you might reply, "Humping is another word for when two people make a baby." or "Humping is a word that is not very nice, but it means making love" If he asks what making love is you could say something like, "That is when two people ( make a baby) or ( have sex) whichever term is less offensive to you. Mostly what you tell him will depend on what the standards are in your family. Just make sure that you are honest and only give details that he needs to know whatever kind of question that you are answering. That will build trust and believe me that sure helps when they are teenagers. Don't be embarrassed to answer questions that are hard with let me research that and get back to you, or " that is a good question, lets find the answer together". Then go to the library or Internet and find the answer :) Good Luck :)

Answer 3

You shouldn't make it seem like talking about sex is a bad thing. Once your kid is a teenager they won't listen to you, especially if you've never tried to talk to them before. Kids find out about stuff on their own, sometimes accurate sometimes not. And you want to make sure that the information they get is in the right light and accurate.
So answer his questions, not with too much information, but not with too little either. Then ask him if he has any other questions. I'd answer those questions, depending on what they are. (If they're maybe "where do babies come from?") or of that nature, but don't tell him anything you aren't okay with him knowing at this age. Only go as far as you are comfortable with.

Answer 4

Humping? 8. About other matters at 10 years.

Answer 5

It is NEVER too early. They youngest person to have birth a baby in the united states was a 9 year old girl, with her 13 year old boyfriend. Point was she was pregnant at 8...keeping knowledge from your child potentially only hurts it.

Answer 6

Let him tell you what he thinks it means, correct him where wrong, but above all DON'T FREAK OUT! You definately want to keep the doors of communication open. Give as much information as he seems ready for at this time. If he asks more, be honest with him. It's better for him to hear about things from you than his "buddies".

Answer 7

At age 8 his question should be no more complex than ‘What is sex?’ After you give him a minimal but correct and non-evasive answer he should have no further questions because he will shelve it in the ‘not relevant to me’ pile of his intelect along with how he feels about your tax returns.

Answer 8

u already know where he heard it from school. Just tell him that humping is not a good thing for young people like him. Talk about it when he's 13.

Answer 9

LThe joys of parenthoood....... I think it would be better for you to explain to him the concept of "humping" than his little friend. I think in this day and age of HIV and AIDS, that early intervention and explainations can save alot of young lives. I also feel that your son will feel able trust in you for giving him correct answers. I bet it would make him feel good knowing he can come to you for the answers to questions that all kids want to know. Take a deep breath....... Good luck.

Answer 10

Answer his question specifically without embellishing. Most 8 yr olds want a simple answer and very few, if any details. Answer the specific questions he asks and no more. He'll be cool with that.