my low self esteem is really debilitating...?

Question

hi along with other mental problems like anger which im pursuing help for and anxiety and paranoia which im going to talk to my social worker about next week. im 29 i lead a very lonley life, just being on my own all day everyday, sitting at my computer. i live in flat on my own. i have my parents and they empathise but can only understand up to a point. i havve extreme low self esteem to the point where if im talking to a female in a chatroom, i cant say anything, im just concentrating on how unbelievably bad i feel, and its never to long before they pick up on it and leave. im nearlly in tears sometimes thinking is my life destined to always be like this. im so unhappy. but i keep trying, and im using the power of belief to try get me through.

Answer 1

unplug the computer and stay off it, it leads to anti-social behavior

find an outdoor activity that you can enjoy.....even alone growing flowers can be fulfilling, or fishing, or going on walks, something outside

keep talking to whomever it is you talk to about your problems

bet get off the computer, seriously, its obvioulsy bad for you

Answer 2

If you keep telling yourself that you have low self esteem then you will have low self esteem. It's all the power of suggestion. Start speaking and thinking better about yourself and eventually you will start feeling that way. I know I dealt with these issues growing up, even tried to kill myself. But one morning I woke up and told myself I would change this and started telling myself I was good enough. Now, I'm married and have two children. Life is good. Remember the mind is a powerful tool and if you give it negative thoughts that's what it contains. If you give your mind positive thoughts then that's what it will contain. Cheer up! Things could be worse. Things always can be worse. And stop spending so much time on the computer! Get outside!

Answer 3

Your not alone! Society can make people feel that way especially if you have been hurt or abused, rejected by others in whom you trusted. There are many who are trying to find the answers to your questions, sometimes it comes in the form of a pill, which I dont like, sometimes in actually meeting someone new, finding a new purpose to your day, taking a new chance. The computer is fine, but when it comes down too it, we are still alone! Its getting out there & trying to make changes within ourselves if we can.
Physical injury can make that hard, but if you are healthy go out live life, unplug the computer.

Answer 4

okay, not matter what anyone tells you you are beautiful just the way you are.
If there is something you don't like about yourself CHANGE IT!

It's really not that difficult, have you ever heard the saying "you can't change someone unless they are willing to change themselves"?
well this applies here.

Please listen to what I have to say and use it!

It seems like you are just looking for people to be with and talk to. Well get out there and meet them! It takes two to tango and if you're sitting inside at your computer how are you going to meet them?

Try this:
Go outside for a walk, and (depending on how many people are outside) say hello and smile to atleast 8 people everyday.

If you are out and about and someone talks to you.. keep the conversation going.

For your self esteem:
Act confident even if you aren't. Confidence attracts people (Im not just talking potential mates), I mean people in general.
Good posture and a smile on your face will go a long way.

Stop putting yourself down, you deserve to be the best you can be. Your telling me your self esteem is debilitating, I can tell by the way you talk about yourself.

Make a list of 20 things you like about yourself, and only 10 of the things you dont like. On the list of the thing's you dont like, try to change a few.
Read over the list of the things you do like when you aren't feeling so good about yourself.

Have you ever heard that forcing a smile can actually make you happy? Try it right now. Make yourself smile.
I will not bore you with how it works, but trust me it will make you happy.

You need to surround yourself with people who make you feel good, and not bring you down.

You are not always going to be like this, so start today. Change what you don't like.. little by little. You will see your progress.

If you don't believe in a higher power, maybe you should look into it. I know in times when I can't make myself happy, I resort to God.

You need to make some friends, and you can start by talking to people. Don't mention your unhappiness right away, don't mention your flaws right away. We all have flaws. You don't hear celebrities saying, oh wow I hate my eyes.

Don't bash yourself.

Also one more thing, get out in the sun. It is proven to make you feel happier. Being in the sun for 15 minutes a day.

So what are you waiting for? Get started!

Good luck and God bless.
If you need anything else feel free to contact me.

Answer 5

Find a non-competitive sports team in your neighborhood. Playing sports is great for the self esteem, even if you suck at the sport.

Join an activities group, like a ski club. My ski club has monthly meetings which are a lot of fun. You don't have to be a skiier, either.

Answer 6

people are turned away from insecurity as well. Sometimes you just need someone to listen and it's like nobody will. But think about it, if someone started emailing you telling you how bad everything is and everything going wrong with their life, would you want to talk to them??? Truth is negetive people bring me down. It's easy to feel down anyway because my parents used to fight all the time and I never had any friends growing up. However, I have learned that surrounding myself by laughing/playing children and other seemingly happy people helps me. I was feeling depressed for awhile and I started to self medicate by taking a multivitamin and 3 fish oil pills a day. I take cinnamon to keep my sugar levels in check. Of course I could just be on a hill (sometimes I have thought I had bi-polar symptoms), but I am feeling better now. Plus, I am starting to remember to take my lunch to work. Seems I am remembering details better without being stressed out or anxious. Seems to be helping a lot, but only time will tell. Try and research homeopathic remedies (home cures). Sometimes they work well. Fish oil might smell like tuna, but it's good for the heart too. Also, I'll give you the same advice I gave someone else who wanted to get their mind off of girls. Get a hobby. It will take your mind off your pains, help you meet people that share your interests (who might appreciate your company) and it will give you something to do to stay busy and be proud of. Having too much pride is a bad thing, but putting yourself down isn't good either. And at least you can proudly say that you're not "cocky" or "arrogant". Try to think of times you were able to help someone else or brighten someone's day. You meant something to that person, so you should mean something to yourself as well. I had a pastor, of all people, who gets depressed once in a while and is insecure. He even got suicidal, but if he succeeded in taking his life, then he wouldn't have been able to lead back into church or lead the people he is leading now. Sometimes he thinks nobody cares about him, but SOMEONE always cares. Of course God, but I care too and I know others that care for him also. His co-workers(at least some), class mates, people at church, and family all cares for him. Shouldn't that count for something? And these groups of people care about you too. ...even if they don't feel the need (or are too embarrassed) to tell you. It's even nice to see my annoying neighbors sometimes...everyone (no matter how popular)has something special to give.

Answer 7

just live life because there no where to go except up . when you talk to a girl or whatever. just talk . spill out anything . talk about something you like . give out ur opinion . . take adult classes in somehting ur interested in and you`ll probably meet someone . or go to the gym . barnes and nobles or a book store. yoo might find someone with the same interest as you . you can always start to draw or color whenever yooo feel angry. because when you concentate on something creative, your anger tends to decrease. and . oh yeah . dont be scared of talking to girls or anyone in chatroom because they dont know you . they dont know how yoo look like . they dont know anything . so dont be scare to share who you are. they cant judge you because they dont know you .

Answer 8

Every one has low self esteem no matter how perfect they are. I know you might not want to talk to me, but I'm a nice person and I care about every one. If you want to talk and just want a friend, I'm here to talk to. You don't have to worry, you can say anything to me. Don't cry because I know that you can make things better. Really if you want to talk , I'm hear. Trust me I have sat and cried to myself plenty of times thinking it was better to be alone and unhappy then to let people really know how sad and sensitive I can be.

Answer 9

obviously you have not much belief in your self , so how can the power of belief help? it sounds like you have severe anxiety and depression. forget the social worker, and get to a doctor. MEDICATION. it really does help. surround your self with people who u feel comfortable around, and do things that you are proud of doing, arts, crafts, etc. YOGA.

Answer 10

I think you should ask your social worker to put you in touch with a psychiatrist. A real doctor can help you with all the mental health problems you're experiencing. Good luck!