Why am I such a pathetic loser?

Question

I get rejected by every girl I'm ever interested in, whether it be before or after a first date. I'm a good looking guy, athletic, and intelligent. I have no problem having confidence around girls, although I may be a little less suave than some guys. I often develop better relationships with girls' voice mail messages than the girl herself (don't worry, I'm not saying I call a girl like 5 times before giving up). Everyone around me thinks I don't have a girlfriend because I don't try, because they figure I should be able to get one. I can't figure it out. Why am I just a loser?

Oh and it's not the whole "don't think too much about it" thing - I've tried that, too, but my dating life goes from barely there to nonexistant.

I hate my life.

Yeah, I'm 24. And I'm not usually this depressing around people, and definately not on dates.

Answer 1

you are trying to hard to be something you are not....slow down regroup and just be yourself, people will accept you for who you are not someone that you are trying to be, if all else fails then just pay for it, mail order bride.

Answer 2

Because your generating non-confidence! Never, ever say "I am a pathetic loser" again!!! You may becoming across as arrogant, or possibly not being taken seriously because you joke to much about things. These are personalities we hide behind until we feel comfortable to let others know the real us. Next rule, "no first dates" for a while. When you find someone you like and your thinking about asking her out, make it an outting for at least another couple. This takes pressure off you. As you gain more confidence, you will eventually be ready for the "alone" thing. Traveling in a pack, has so many pluses, you are comfortable, they see the real you, and you don't have to be someone your not, (try to build a relationship on the invention of someone you "made up", tragic!!!) It takes awhile for any of us to become the person within. There is so much of our self's we want expose because of rejection. Last rule, be sure you and your date have lots of fun. Stay away from anything to demanding, because the rest of your life will have you busy with that.

Answer 3

Your question alone is quite indicative.
You have very low self esteem and a very bad image of yourself even if you don't admit/realize it. If this wasn't the case you wouldn't be asking WHY am I such a PATHETIC LOSER. You would have asked "what's going wrong?".
Word usage and tone are revealing.

When I read the title of the question in the list I had a very bad feeling. The message conveyed by your language is extremely negative. If you are in a bad mood you convey negativity which of course is not at all attractive.

Also the more you try the worse it gets. Don't stress yourself about it. Take it easy and let things flow.
Build up your self esteem, fix your mood.
Rejection is within the game and it's a good teacher for flirting. Don't let it bring you down because the worse you feel about yourself the harder it is to attract others.

Finally you should ask yourself if you have been going after the wrong type of girls.

I am not saying that all these are easy to do; I'm older and in a worse position. None-the-less that's the way things are. We have to try...

Answer 4

--------------> passes the Kleenex

Awwww,I'm sorry to hear that you are going through such a hard time with this. I 'm feeling BAD for you!

The only advice I can offer is:
1) that FIRST we are all someone SPECIAL
2 )that we have a reason and a purpose to our lives, and we must live our life ( the way we choose) to find out what that reason and that purpose are.

Our lives consist of choices and decisions that make us who we are today. If your life seems challenging to you at this very moment ,sit down and think of ways that you could purposely change it to make it better. If the ways seem too challenging and hard to grasp as a reality,remember that it is your choice and yours alone and the outcome is the direct result of your decision.

Answer 5

You are not a pathetic loser. I have no idea how old you are but my son is 17 and does not have a girlfriend because they are too much trouble. Everytime he has had a g/f they get mad if he runs around with his buddies and dont spend every second with them. If you are a teen, you have a long life ahead of you, dont waste it worrying about girls now! Get out and enjoy it!

Answer 6

You sound great, but some girls like a little chase. Just wait, be a nice guy and you'll eventually find a nice girl. Don't hate your life, you sound like a great person and you sound like the total package. Find something in common with the girl of chose and make sure her personality fits yours.
This kinda works for me, hope it helps :)
anytime u wanna talk u can email me! :)

Answer 7

Gosh. First of all, stop hating yourself. that's not attractive.

Maybe you don't expect a girl you date to be into you fast enough. When girls are dating, we have a lot of options available to us and can do what we please so if a guy doesn't seem that into us after the first date, he's probably not worth going out with again.

Do you:
Open doors?
Pull out her chair?
Tell her how pretty she is?


Are you just "friendly"? maybe they think you're gay?

Have fun.

Answer 8

first of all you are not a loser
the right girl will come around
dont spend your time thinking about it
its not worth it instead hang out with friends,
get a job or go running.
dont hate yourself for this
everything will be okay

Answer 9

Well, don't have your life. It sound like your a good guy and maybe its just the girls you go after. There are lots of fish in this crazy sea, sometimes you just got to keep fishing intil you get your big catch. :)

Answer 10

Don't worry buddy, the right girl will come along. Just give it some time.