When is it an appropriate time to tell a child that she has a father that wants nothing to do with her?

Answer 1

anytime as long as you don't put it to her like that.Maybe just tell her he is selfish and isn't ready to be a dad or something.

Answer 2

There is never an appropriate time to tell a child about an absent father. I think you should wait until they are old enough to understand what is going on and then be there for them after you break the news to him/her.

Answer 3

There is never a time to tell a child this.
In all frankness, the best time to maybe tell them this is when they are grown, and it might not be good even then.
All you will do if you tell a child this NOW is cause emotional scars that will penetrate the belly deep in the heart of the child tha tiwll be nearly impossible to remove or heal.
and I do not think you want that.

Answer 4

i dont think its ever appropriate to tell a child that. i think the child will find out on there own. when my parents divorced when i was 7 i missed my dad and he never called or anything. but my mom never told me he didnt want anything to do with me. that would have crushed me. and i probably would have blamed her for saying such a thing. my dad took my 2 older bro's but not me... he never called never sent a letter or anything at all. im 47 now i have heard from him 2 times in my lifetime. once when he was passing thru i got to see him for a dinner when i was 18, the other was when i was like 25.. passin thru again. i never asked him why. he never offered a explaination. we just simply met.. like two strangers. but one thing i realized after all these years is people make mistakes. and i thnk god my mom was around for me. she never said anything bad about him until recently. so i guess the answer is when u child is older.. a adult and able to handle the real fact. that people make mistakes and dont have the balls to take care of there mistakes and try to make it right. someday maybe he will come around. and when he does. let him explain why. your child may think your lying or just trying to get even cause u are not together. good luck to you.

Answer 5

Never.

Why would you want to inflict that much pain on a child? If she asks about her father, just tell her that he lives somewhere else. If she presses the issue, explain to her that you and her father don't get along but that it has nothing to do with her.

Answer 6

Is this something she can find out for herself? Do you have to be the one to tell her? Maybe if she wrote a letter to him or a phone call and she was able to see for herself that he didn't respond or didn't want to talk to her. At least you wouldn't have to be the one to tell her, and the responsibility won't fall on you, it should be on him since he is her father. I don't think there is a "good" time to hear this but I would at least wait until she's old enough to understand. Maybe when she was at least a teenager.

Answer 7

Theres never an appropriate time if you word it like that. Say something like "Your father was unable to commit to a family" or something like that when she is about 10 or so, or when she begins to ask about it repeatedly. My father had a similar non-committment to me, and my Mom let me know about it when I was pretty young, and she let me know fairly bluntly. I never really got over it, had she been a bit more diplomatic I probably would have taken it better. I have such a huge fear of being abandoned that I tend to push people away from me before they have a chance to abandon me.

Logically, I know that it was HIS fault, not mine. But being told "Your father didn't want you" was traumatic nevertheless. I also know it was HIS fault, not my Moms, but I think she let her anger at him dictate how she told me about him.

Answer 8

Better to tell her that he died. How sad to tell a child that. Think of how the child would feel, like maybe she did something wrong.
Some people just don't deserve to have kids and feel the love and joy they have to offer

Answer 9

It depends on how old the child is when you tell her, and I would like for you to not bad mouth him even though he not man enough to face his responsibility's.If the child is under seven then wait, because she will be able to accept it better.

Answer 10

Never! When questions are asked about why he is not around, and if you come out and say something negative, it will come back on you. I know it is tough, and you probably feel this truth is necessary, but what is more necessary is the child feel loved and wanted.

Answer 11

Depending upon her age, she most likely already knows. Children are more perceptive than we give them credit for.

Don't worry about it too much. She might ask you, but the life YOU provide for her is what she sees as normal. She doesn't know anything different, so the fact that she doesn't have the typical nuclear family is hardly a big deal.

~C