my boyfriend pulled a knife on me i have left him have i done the right thing?

Question

i have been in an abusive relationship for a few years which was just starting to get better and was only occuring occasionaly, but in the last two weeks hes has been going to the pub and has pulled a knife on me three times most recent last night and if it was not for my three year old son i think he would have killed me!!! i was in bits could not sleep so when he fell asleep after he woke my oldest son up who saw everything i contacted the police who took him away but now all day today i have been feeling horrible about contacting the police, i do not want him back and i dont want my sons or myself to have this life please some advise

Answer 1

You have to ask? Of course, you did the right thing. You have not only yourself but two sons to protect. As a mother, nothing is worth a threat to your children. Stay away from him, get a restraining order - do whatever it takes. And do not second guess yourself. There are good men out there who will be kind to you and your boys - and you deserve a good man. Please do not cave in and think that this man will change. He won't. Hold your head up and be strong until the right guy comes along. Good luck to you.

Answer 2

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Answer 3

Firstly you've done a good thing (both for yourself and your son) by calling the Police. Yes you have done the right thing by leaving him.

If he becomes any more of a pain or tries to contact you or anything and you don't want him to then you can get a restraining order which would make it a criminal offence for him to come within a certain distance of you and contact you in any way.

It's clear to me (and I'm sure everyone else) that he doesn't treat you right and doesn't deserve to be with you.

You shouldn't feel guilty AT ALL since he's the one who's done wrong. You don't deserve to be treated like that, in fact no-one does!

You know you can do better than him so give yourself as much time as you want to recover from this and then find someone better who'll treat you right.

Take care :-)

Answer 4

Whatever you do, DO NOT DROP ANY CHARGES!!!! You need an injunction and a restraining order on this low life.I too have been through all this.My mum said to me one day "what type of coffin do you want"? That is what made me leave.You have a long hard think about your kids.They SHOULD be your No 1 priority.They cant be witnessing all this,it will damage them emotionally for years,if not for the rest of their life.He will end up killing you,and they will be orphans.I would say to you,be strong and move into a womens refuge/safe house.Materialistic things dont matter.staying alive to be a mum to your kids is what matters.In a refuge they help you with money,getting a new safe place to live.There are refuges all over the country.you get grants to furnish.so much help to have a new future,a safe future.peace to bring your kids up in a safe environment.

Answer 5

I say U did the right thing. As a matter of fact, I say walk away & don't look back. U have kids & U don't want them to feel as if this is a healthy relationship. Besides, U said boyfriend not husband. Good thing. Divorce is expensive, so are funerals. If he had the balls to pull a knife on U, he may have the balls to use it. Sometimes we don't know the person that we are with as well as we thought we did. Some people are masters at hiding who they really are.

Answer 6

Do not let this man come back. Never should a woman allow her children to have to live under such conditions. These kids deserve more than that. You deserve better. You did the right thing in calling the police. I think you should find somewhere for you and the kids to go and seek counseling. You will be better in the long run for having done this. He will as you already know do it again and one day you or your children may not be so lucky. God Bless You and your children and good luck.

Answer 7

Hello,

I was also in an abusive relationship with a man which lasted 8 yrs and we had 2 children together. He also tried to kill me.
After leaving him there were LOTS of times where I thought about going back and almost did just like all the other times I tried to leave. But as time goes on the longer you stay away, it does get easier and it will get better. The kids are safer being out of a home like that. It is a good thing u called and u should stay away because your kids need their mother. I had to stay away from my ex because I need to live and be here for my kids, no one can love them and take care of them like I can. and no one can love your kid like u can. put you and your kid first, not that loser.
Things dont get better when u stay with someone like that.
I wish u the best of luck and when you are feeling down and feeling like u want him back, go spend time with family or friends or get online and find someone to talk to, sooner or later that feeling will pass and u will be so glad u didnt take him back later on..

Answer 8

You did the right thing in getting the police involved as its the best thing you could have done. He is not a man as a man would never abuse or beat his partner, or any female for that matter. He may well have a drink problem, if he has then stear clear from him as things will never improve. Get on with your life without him as I'm certain the right man will come along and bring some happiness back into your life. On ending I stress to you not to take your partner back for the sake of your boys. Good luck and please find happiness.

Answer 9

You're feeling guilty right now, but you honestly did the best thing you could ever have done for your children as well as for yourself. No-one should ever have to live like that. Violence can leave permanent mental scars and physical scars that make it difficult to function throughout life. It may be difficult for you to see the good you've done right now, but later on, when you look back, you're going realize it was the most reasonable and best decision you've ever made.

Contact the domestic crisis hot line number right now to get the advice, counseling and support you need today. They will point you in the right direction. Good luck sweetie, you and your family deserve a safe and happy home.

Answer 10

Alot of respect to you girl. Its a hard thing to do to come out of an abusive relationship, but no person should suffer at the hands of another. Yes you have done the right thing but if you are concerned about your safety contact womens aid. Live your life for you and your son now and not for him! Good on ya!