What do I do about my mom?

Question

My mom is an alcoholic and it has recently got really bad. I've decided to move in with my dad and his wife. My mom won't leave me alone and accuses of me of abandoning my little sister. I would never do that to her but I still feel guilty about the situation. My mom also continues to lie about not drinking and I've found out that she's been running around and sleeping with other men besides my step dad. Do I completely loose contact with her? Or do I confront her? If I confront her what do I say?

Answer 1

Do not confront your mother. Alcoholics often times make it look like it's everyone Else's fault but their own.

Your decision to move out was a wise one my dear. Living with an alcoholic can be very frustrating and often times makes it difficult to live your life as a child and grow up properly. You're dealing with things that you shouldn't have to deal with right now.

YOU did not abandon your little sister, remember, your mother is the adult here and it's her responsibility to take care of her children. However, since it appears that she's not capable, it would be in your little sister's best interest to contact Child Protective Services, so that they can step in and take care of the situation at hand. Be certain to tell them what you have described here.

This may be difficult for you to do, but you MUST do it, trust me, you will be doing your entire family a big favor.

Finally, be certain that you get some counseling to help you deal with the life you have just left. Alcoholics can be very manipulative and you need to learn how to deal with that as well. Good luck and God Bless you sweetie.

Answer 2

First thing first here, you have nothing to feel guilty for and she is trying to make you feel that way. If she makes you stay and you leave things alone... she has control. She doesn't have control of her life.. so she needs control over something. Someone else said tell your dad. I agree. Seriously consider talking to your step dad even. Although I don't know how close to him you are. Don't decide to try to fight this alone. It isn't your doing, or your fault your mom has this problem, but she needs to fix it that's for sure. Talk to your dad about your sister as well. Good luck..

I wouldn't loose contact with her if I could help it... so try not too. She does need support. And maybe don't confront her on her own. Consider an intervention with the whole family??? And see what happens...

Answer 3

I would first confront your mom and let her know what you know and how it makes you feel. Your mom has abandoned your little sister by not showing her a good example. Your mom has a drinking problem and she has to accept that, before she can get better, because alcoholism is a sickness. Your mom has abandoned you and your sister and she needs to step up to the plate and take responsibility for you both.

Answer 4

I'm sorry you have to go through this. Unfortunately, there are no easy answers. You have to protect yourself, which appears to be what you have done. If your younger sister is a half-sister by your step-dad, and considering that your mom is being unfaithful to him, you may have to talk with your step-dad and encourage him to take action to protect your sister and himself.

Al-Anon is an organization for family members of alcoholics, and they have a branch called Alateen for children of alcoholics.
http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/
This might be a good resource for you and other family members affected by this situation. It is important that you all learn to detach yourself from your mother's self-destructive behavior, and to realize it is not your fault.

As you have seen, she will try to manipulate you and make you feel guilty, and it is important for your self-worth not to let that happen. You can keep in touch with her if you are able to stay honest with her and to not allow it to effect the other areas of your life. But you must not feel bad if you find that it is necessary to cut off contact with her until she gets her act together.

I wish you and your sister the best of luck.

Answer 5

Ouch! Ok, get in touch with ur sis and explain to her why you left. If she is young tell her that you and mommy are not happy right now, but that will change. If you think that she may harm your sis then take her w/u. I wouldn't loose contact completely. But I would limit how often ya'll speak. As for her cheating, that is none of your business and you probably may want to stay out of it. Now if you want to tell her you know about her cheating, then do it. (It may make you feel better.)

Answer 6

Don't let her take you down with her or make you feel guilty. She is very sick. They blame everyone but themselves. Get in touch with aa for teens. They have a program for teens of alcoholic parents. It helps you understand the illness and help you deal with it and your feelings. It can be very helpful to you even if you move in with your dad.

Answer 7

Speak to your dad about your little sister and yourself Hopefully he can go to court and have the two of you removed from her home and into his. If your little sister is your stepfather's child then you will need to speak to him about her and he will need to know what she is doing and get away from her. No one can control what your mother is doing, except her. Maybe she will get help with her problem if she knows that she is going to lose the two of you. If not, you are better off with your dads. Show your father and your step father these posts.

Answer 8

you are double talking are you drinking you said you left mom moved in with dad and new mon how is she running around on dad when hes married to someone else well any way your mother needs help and sorry to say it but you can help her your sister should be taken out of moms house till she goes and get help and its safe to move back if you truly love your sis and mom talk to dad to help you get the help mom need to put the family back together

Answer 9

it's not your fault. it's her problem. just say with your dad, don't lose contact with her. just stay away from her mmost of the of the time.. Remember it's not your fault, even though if she blames you for it. She has a illnness. you should go to alateen, it will help you understand why this is going on, i have the same experince.

if you want to, email me at [e-mail]

Answer 10

my moms an alcoholic too, and i pretty much hav the same situation, exept i hav a brother, not a sister. u should confront her and speak ur thoughts.