should i get married just because i am ready to have my own life at 17?

Answer 1

thats smart. im sure there is no simpler way to accomplish that. actually if you are that crazy and someone is willing to marry you you should probably go for it before they catch on to your psychoness.

Answer 2

of course not! You are WAY too young at 17 to know what kind of person you will want to be married to at 30 or 35. What if you marry someone at 17, and then have 3 kids, and then when you are 24 decide you married the wrong person (he's all into drugs and/or cheating with other women, or he never comes home or refuses to get a job and work). . THEN what? Then you now have two or three kids depending on you and you have a useless husband and maybe now there's some guy you would like to date, but you don't have the time to date because you have kids at home that you have to be with constantly!

Not only that, but what you want at 17 is far different from what you want at 25, and you are a far different person at 17 than you are at 25. I think it's a horrible idea to get married that young.

Also, studies show that the later you get married, the happier you are when you are married (basically the idea is if you get married at 30, you're more happily married than if you get married at 22.

Answer 3

The short answer: NO WAY!

The long answer:

First, to make this clear, I am not categorically against a 17-year-old getting married. There are individuals who are quite mature at 17, and circumstances that warrant a marriage at that age. That being said, though, I think that those individuals and those circumstances are NOT the norm.

1.) You can have your own life without getting married (or, BEFORE getting married), and it actually really enhances the marriage that you will later have. You can focus on your education, on your career, on developing your own interests and hobbies, on your friendships. When you are more developed in those areas, you will have so much more to offer any person you are planning to marry. Also, with a wider range of your own life experiences, you will be more prepared to choose your life partner wisely, to be able to discern the things that are really important and the things that are just "fluff."

2.) Nobody should marry as a declaration to the world that they are ready to have their own life. A more appropriate way to declare that you're ready for your own life is to: get a job, go to college, move into your own apartment, pay your own bills, buy your own food and clothing, etc. These moves of independence will help lay the foundation for a stable marriage, but ideally they would be in place BEFORE the marriage. Even if you are a very traditional woman who plans to stay home and be completely provided for by your husband, being self-supporting for about a year before you are married is a GREAT idea. It will give you a window into his world as the provider for your family later, and gratitude for what he does for you, and also will help you not to be resentful about the time that he puts into his job.

3.) Ideally, the motive for getting married is: you've fallen in love with someone, you've carefully considered throughout the relationship whether this relationship can work long-term (taking into account both of your personalities, commitment levels to the relationship, long-term goals, and values), and you feel that you are both in a place where you can offer each other a better life than either of you could have alone. For example, if he wants to have 6 kids and a stay-at-home wife, and you want to be a career woman, you are probably setting yourself up for a life full of conflict. If he likes to travel and wants to take a job overseas, and it's very important to you to be close to your family, good chance it won't work.

3.) Marriage is a vow to weather the entire REST OF YOUR LIFE with that other person. At 17, most people still are finding out who they are, and who they are capable of being. Yes, those discoveries will go on for the rest of your life . . . but they come much fewer and farther between as you get older. Find a few 27-year-olds and ask them if they are the same people now that they were at 17. I don't know very many who would say they are. Now find a few 37-year-olds and ask the same question. Also, ask the 37-year-olds if they are the same now as they were at 27. There's a LOT less change between 27 and 37 than there is between 17 and 27. My point is this: it might be rough to marry someone now, and then in 10 years discover that you are both completely different people with different goals and different interests, and you don't connect anymore. It's true that that can happen even when people marry older, but it seems to happen a lot more when they marry younger.

4.) What is important to you in a life partner is going to change a lot in the next few years. When I was 17 (in the early 90s), I most wanted a guy who had long hair, was funny, had snappy comebacks for whatever was said to him, and liked grunge music (that was pretty popular back then). I laugh about that now. In college (20-23), I wanted a guy who was smart and who I really connected with. By the time I was 26 (when I got married - I'm 30 now, btw), I wanted a guy who was smart and I really connected with . . . but also was kind, had goals for his life and an established track record in reaching his goals, and who was willing to work as hard at the relationship as me. See the difference at the different ages? Nearly every woman I talk to has gone through the same sort of development.

5.) A few questions to ask yourself: Why do you want to marry now? Are there problems with your family that you are trying to escape? Do you feel you need to prove something to someone? Are you possibly over-romanticizing what married life is like?

To sum it up: in my opinion, you're wiser to wait. However, if you feel you must do this now, make sure you're thinking about the long term and not only now. Talk to some older women (I'm assuming you're a girl?) about what are some of the best and worst things about their marriages, and what their hardest struggles have been. Talk to your boyfriend about how the two of you plan to overcome those things. Get some premarital counseling (maybe at a local church). Hope this helps.

Answer 4

NO!! Have your own life as a single person...go to college...get out and see what's out there. Marriage is supposed to be forever and you have lots and lots of time before you want to committ to "forever".

I know it sounds all romantic and stuff...but there's a big difference between loving someone a few hours a day, and having them around 7 days a week, 24 hours a day, 365 days a year....and then there's that extra day every 4th year!!

And you're 17...assume you both live until 75. That's 58 years together...over 21,000 days...and if it's not good there's ALL those hours...and minutes and seconds of NOT GOOD..to deal with.

If it's real...it'll survive being put on hold 5 years or so.

Answer 5

Not hardly! I recommend living for yourself at least into your early 20' before getting married. This experience will help you know who you are independent of your parents or husband. Only then do you really know what you have to offer a potential spouse. Also, you will have the confidence of knowing that you are able to make it in this world on your own. Situations have a way of changing; divorce, tragedy, death, can put you back to being a single woman, and you may have kids by then. The confidence you gain now will benefit you and your hubby/kids in the long run.

Answer 6

You have to ask yourself a lot of questions in this scenario.

Are you who you are going to be? Have you finished becoming the person you want to become? It's good to have your own **** together before trying to share it with someone else.

Honestly, in my opinion, I don't think you're ready. I know I'm speaking in broad generalizations, but i remember being 17. I also remember how much I changed between 17 and 20. Think of all your older friends and how much they have changed after high school. Do you really want to lock yourself down NOW?

Answer 7

At the risk of giving you a serious answer, "no." You'll find that if you get married at 17 you won't have your own life. You'll be bound to your husband. You'll probably also have a baby and then you *really* won't have your own life.

Graduate high school, get a job, and move out. Then you'll have your own life.

Answer 8

Getting married does not let you lead your own life. Once you're married, you have your spouse to think of. If you want to have your own life, wait until you are 18 and move out.

Answer 9

No I am know 26 and I thought about the same dumb *** idea when I was youre age stay with youre parnets as long as you can get a job and save up money go to school if you can party youll have plenty of time to get married wait believe me trust me on that if I could go back in time and talk to my self as a teen I would have given myself the same advise and I would have ***** slappped my self Good Luck!!

Answer 10

No, that's a stupid move.

If you want to live life, a good place to start is living life. At 17, regardless of how wise and worldly you may feel, you are just not grown up. Life is short, enjoy as many parts of it as you can. There is no hurry to get married.

Answer 11

I think you should wait You still have a lot of growing and maturing to do. Enjoy being young, your going to meet alot of people throughout your life and at 17 you haven't even got started living yet.