Do you find this inconsiderate?

Question

I had a BBQ at my place a couple weeks ago just to celebrate summer starting. I sent out invitations, got lots of RSVPs from people, bought the appropriate amounts of food and drink, even made sure the dog was clean and half the people just didn't show up, some of them without calling or anything....I wouldn't have minded if I just got a phone call or email saying they couldn't come. A few people let me know they weren't able to show up, but some just said nothing. I feel bad about it...I would never just not show up.

Answer 1

I do find that to be inconsiderate. I hate when that happens. It would be one thing if maybe the weather was horrendous but most of the time is just a lack of social grace. Sorry to hear that it happened to you.

Answer 2

Do you feel bad because there are so much food left, they couldnt come or you sweat yur *** off preparing for the party?
If you are sincere and honest..let it be!
Well at least you prepared enough for the food. Kudos!
There is nothing worst than going to someone's party and not enough food there! Why bother if they were not be able to turn up! They have reasons. But they should have called you anyway.
You are good host thats for sure! Keep up the good work! As for the food, get a Ziplock bag, put in the refrigerator and heat it up for the next few days for your family! Make a sandwich or something!

Answer 3

Yes, I think that's really sh*tty.

Extending an invitation to people you'd like to celebrate the summer with, working hard to make the event pleasant and/or entertaining, and those sorry *$#&$(#&s not having the common decency to tell you, they weren’t arriving.

That's really sh*tty.

Some people are so unappreciative, I can understand accepting the invitation and leaving a bit of uncertainty up in the air, but doing the RSVP thing?

Wtf…I know ‘life happens’ and all, but If they’re supposed to be your friends, I hope they have a good excuse.

Answer 4

It was inconsiderate of your would-be guests not to call or e-mail you when a change in their circumstances prevented them from attending what sounds like, a really nice, and really mature, party. I can't help thinking that you and your friends are relatively young (early 20's ?), and that a lot of them still live at home. If that's the case, they most likely don't realize how much preparation and expense go into hosting a good party (did any of them even ask what they could bring, when they RSVP'd?- I'm guessing not.). Another reason many people fail to inform the host/hostess that they must regrettably cancel at the last minute is that, believe it or not, they don't consider themselves to be very important, and therefore won't be missed. They often assume that EVERYONE else who was invited is going to show up, hostess gift ( or dessert, or bottle of wine,etc. ) in hand, ready to get the party started and enjoy a great time, until the wee hours of the morning. And, in some cases, some people have never been taught a lot of the social graces which help to make socety civilized. Whatever the case may be, you sound like a very mature, considerate young woman, one whose friends are VERY lucky to have within their social circle. I'm sure that you must be feeling a little hurt, in addition to being majorly irritated, for practical reasons ( the cost of the party most likely set you back a bit, financially)- but don't let that stunt YOUR social growth. Eventually, (most of) your friends will grow up, credit you with being the first of the bunch to throw a 'real' party, and follow suit. Let them know how their response to your most recent party made you feel ( sometimes it's easier to jokingly give some people a hard time about it, while others are more receptive to a more emotional approach ). I, personally, would suggest that you handle the situation, not just 'let it go', but then move on- even if that means leaving some of your friends behind. P.S. I'm 37 yrs.old,& married, with a 5 yr. old child- and lots of great friends. Fifteen years ago I went through the same thing that you've described, and I handled the situation in the same way that I described it to you. Unfortunately, sometimes I STILL have to handle ill-mannered( but usually good-hearted) friends; but it really does get better with time. And remember, always be sure to demand as much respect for yourself as you give to others- YOU deserve it, too!

Answer 5

That is inconsiderate. The least they could of done is called n said "oh by the way I can't make it"..They could of made up any excuse really as long as you knew that they were not comming. Tis a shame you went to all that work and nobody was around to app. it ..But you get an A+ in my book for effort:)

Answer 6

I'd get even. Say your throwing a huge bash at some local bar,night club. Free drinks, sushi, top notch Dj, whatever bait would work best. Setup time, date,email them the details. When they arrive and nothing is going on you should be getting a call. Answer, and let them know you totally forgot, the plans have changed, dates moved, and you spaced out calling them. Oops.

Answer 7

yes, this is very inconsiderate, but there's not much you can do about it. if I cant attend a party, i make sure that i let the host or hostess know about first or if i didnt call before hand, i would call them after the party a say that i was deeply sorry that i could not attend and didn't notify then first. if you wanted to, you could call them and ask them why they couldnt come, without being too nosy, and say that you truly missed having them there.

Answer 8

Make a list and next time just invite those that came or called

Answer 9

It is definintley rude. But today thats how alot of people are....they simply dont care. Just know for the future not to invite those people again.

Answer 10

Thats extremly rude. if you RSVP,you show up. but if something last minute shows up,you call and let them know ahead of time that you arent going to be there. you just dont show up cuz u dont feel like it. you RSVP'ed and someone is exspecting you. you show up.

Answer 11

Yes very inconsiderate!!! But most people are like that nowadays.