How do you ask your wedding guest for money instead of gifts?

Question

Me and my fiance are getting married on August 26, 2006. We have every thing we need in the house so we don't need any house hold items. We have been living together for a year now so its not like we are just starting to live in a new home with nothing. So what is the best way to tell people that we can use the money instead of a clasic blender or your usual pots and pans?

Also we are going on a cruise and can shoure use the money.

Lyindsy_M you must have had crapy relationships. I've known my fiance since we were 13 years old. We didn't take ourselfs seriously untill about a year ago. If you ask me? with that additude its no wonder you don't have a man that will stick around because he will just have a woman and not a wife.

Answer 1

just explain on the invite that as you already live together you have everything you need,but if people would like to provide a wedding gift then money would be appreciated

Answer 2

Some guests dont like this and think its cheeky, but if you already have a home together then I personally wouldn't object. I've received a couple of invites with little poems enclosed about the situation (cant find it at present, so I'm no use there!) but I think there are things listed on internet. If its a concern to some people perhaps you could suggest vouchers from a store you like to use and then perhaps do up a room in the future, i.e. B&Q, John Lewis, Next Home, M&S etc. I'll look for this poem and post it later.

Answer 3

Well, let me start by saying congrats on the wedding, but unfortunately, you cant ask your guests for money. You shouldnt even expect gifts at all becuase thats not the purpose of a wedding. When my husband and I married, half the guests didnt even give anything. my mother-in-law didnt even give a gift. we werent upset by it though because we had no intention on trying to get anything out of the wedding except our promise to eachother. the best thing you can do is kind of pass around the info that you want money, like to close friends and family. thats what we did when people asked what we wanted for the wedding. we were in the same situation...alreayd established and really didnt need anything. some gave money, but others wont, no matter if you say you dont need anything or not. some people just dont feel right giving money and will give a gift instead so I would try and think up at least a few things you might be able to use in case people ask of a material gift you need. hopefully it works out for you though...best of luck.

Answer 4

You don't really have to ask. As long as your invitations don't say "We are registered at (store)" then the people coming probably will just bring you a card with money. A few people might buy you some stuff but you can always sell it on EBay or at the flea market if you don't like it. I just know that when someone sends me a wedding invitation and they aren't registered anywhere then I just give them a card with money, and I think most people will do that too. You can always let you mom and maybe your best man know that you don't really want any gifts, just money. These people probably wouldn't be offended and will tell the people who are likely to buy you gifts (like your immediate family and close friends) that you just want money. If you put that you only need money on your invitation it would look like you are only doing it for the money. This way people get the hint nicely and you can get money too. Congratulations and have fun at your wedding!

Answer 5

You certainly don't want to set up a wedding gift registry. Guests will expect to receive the info to your registry with the invite. When they notice there is none, they will get the hint. Also letting your parents and bridal party know that you prefer money will ensure that the word gets out. They're usually the ones every one will go to to ask "Is there anything they need?" Also on the invitation adding a foot note that says something like "Monetary gifts are welcome." would not be impolite. In fact it's a relief to that person that does not know what to give but feels that they have to bring something.

By the way, congratulations!

Answer 6

There is NO correct way to indicate that you even EXPECT gifts, much less to direct your guests as to WHAT their gifts should be.

Now with that out of the way, I'm sure the question you MEANT to ask was "How can we politely maneuver our guests into ASKING what type of gift we might prefer?" Your solution is found in this answer to a rather different question.

Q: "What percentage of people that you invite come?"

A: Don't play guessing games. Call everyone you invited and make a complete and accurate list of everyone who is attending. There should only be a 'yes list' and a 'no list'. Do not allow inconsiderate people to bully you into creating a 'maybe list'.

When you call those who did NOT do the RSVP, it is becuase their invitation was obviously lost in the mail. None of your friends would be so thoughtless as to simply not bother responding to your kind invitation, now would they?

When you call those who DID do the RSVP, it is "to confirm" the names of every person who plans to attend. If you were unwise enough to use expressions like "and guest" or "and family" on your invitations, this is even more necessary.

Besides giving you an accurate head count, these calls allow you to re-assert your control of the guest list. Be prepared to say things like "Your new boyfriend sounds wonderful, and I look forward to meeting him ... but this occaision is really only for people we know" and "I'm so sorry, but we're not having children."

If someone tries to clobber you with "If I can't bring my (whatever), then I can't come either" your response is "I hope you'll change your mind. If you do, just let me know by August 17th."
[End of answer and back to your own question.]

When you are having these "confirm the guest list" conversations, nearly everyone will ask what sort of gift you would like. Tell them. They will be relieved that you are so easy to shop for.

Answer 7

you don't ask for money! Two of my friends did that on her wedding invitations. My first friend's wedding turned out to be really bad no one went only a few people she invited about 250 guests and only about 80 went it was bad. My other friend well to say the least I didn't go to her wedding. Asking for money is cheap get the gifts and just go with your own money to your cruise.
Diana

Answer 8

I totally understand what you're going through! However, unless you have a very understanding family, they will probably be offended by such a request. It is a privilege to get gifts, not a requirement.

I agree with the other postings: smile and say thank you for their gifts, then return them or sell them on ebay. A little hassle on your part will spare hurt feelings on their end.

Congrats and best wishes!

Answer 9

uummm, you could just say hey we got alot of the stuff we already need but we do need some extra cash for some things that we are doing or you could put it down on gift ideas, like instead of putting down we want a blender you could put down money. you just have to be out going enough to do it

Answer 10

Spread the word among close family and friends. Someone is always checking in with someone close to see what they're getting or if they have any ideas. I totally understand where you are coming from and only wish I had put the idea out in time to those close to me!

Answer 11

do what my cousin did.,.... there was things that she needed so she went out and put them on layby with a bpay thingy and then when she sent out the invitations, she said that rather than go out and buy things to please use the bpay code supplied on 1 of the needed items on the list, that any contribution no matter how small was appreciated... the outcome was all her things got paid for!!! i dont know where your from but we can do it like that in Australia and im sure theres a way whereever you are too.. probably not bpay but something similar