Why some Christians practice unlawful marriage?

Question

What does girl friend and boy friend relation mean? Isn't this unlawful marriage (or adultery) without obligations? Why it is so common in western countries? Isn’t this a sin or it is guaranteed to be forgiven because you believe Jesus as son of God?

I knew a couple who lived fifty years together as friends! Why not to marry?

Answer 1

This is something that has haunted me for many
years. My husband and I lived together for about three months before we were married.This was back in the early seventies. As they say, everyone was doing it, but as I grew older I began to feel very bad about doing this, without being married, in the eyes of God. I was so happy to get married, and still remain happily married after 36 years.
But, I have asked God to forgive me for my sins, that that was one of them.

PGBISME

Answer 2

That's more than one question. However, I'll see what I can do.
Girlfriend and Boyfriend is something of a prelude to marriage. It's like a trial period before making a committment. This isn't really unlawful marriage, unless you are married to someone already. It is common in western countries because the practice of arranged marriages never really was a big part of the culture, so young people had to come up with their own partners. It isn't necessarily a sin, and I have no clue whether you're forgiven or not, since no christian has ever been able to answer that question fully.

Answer 3

Dating is about finding out about yourself and what qualities you bring to a relationship and what you can and can't tolerate from another.

You don't say where you're from or what your religion is to give us some insight to answer this question in relation to your beliefs.

While I am a believer in a higher power and I truly think Jesus is one of the best role models that ever existed, I too wonder about people who say they believe in a Christian Bible and yet don't follow the ways of the book. The current U.S. president is a prime example.

I agree if you're going to use a book that dictates how you should live, then you should strive to live by those rules.

Frankly, I don't believe everything I read and the Christian Bible because:
1. It was written by the hand of man, not the hand of God.
2. It has been translated from ancient languages, again by the hand of man, How am I supposed to believe that these translations are literal?

I've lived with a man or two in my days, but I've never called myself a Christian or someone who lives by the word in the Bible. I don't think God or whoever is in charge would really have a problem with people loving each other. I don't think love is a "sin." I think God or a higher power would be more upset about people killing other people.

Please realize people in "Western countries" have very diverse belief systems. Even people who say they believe in the Bible and God and Jesus sometimes are just saying what they think people expect of them. It's not a cut and dried situation, we are all different and everyone's belief system is different.

I once worked with a man from Africa who had such a strong belief in following along with the crowd, he was massively frustrated with us Americans. He felt like he was supposed to follow along with things he didn't agree to. Well, that's not the way we operate in the USA. We can all have different beliefs. We don't expect everyone to follow the crowd. We actually have some appreciation for the artistic and creative types, in fact they are celebrated because they did go in a different direction.

Let me ask you: What is the value of sameness?

Peace

Answer 4

Kara: Obviously if they commiting fornication in there relation before marriage then they are backsliding away from the beliefs as a Christian, they are then not right in God. One person or example can't describe Christians as a whole since we are all different, and not all of the "christian churches" follow the Bible anyway.

Kim: Well, how else are you going to find your spouse if you don't date to begin with? A boyfriend and girlfriend relationship usually means courtship- it depends on the couple if they are commiting acts or not. If they are, before marriage, then it's a sin. But you can't dub all boyfriend girlfriend relationships as against God, because that's what leads into marriage, and that is something holy in God's eyes.

Answer 5

Its not unlawfull marrage when 2 people date its called being permiquest,, i dont know if i spelled it wrong,, alot of ppl do this everyday and alot are christian,, they should look at each other as spending the rest of there lives together,, that doesnt mean live with each other because if they did it would be to much of a temptation for them,, so they should live apart,, and no sex before they get married either,, but most of the ppl dating do live together and have sex,,,, since someone said that you should test the person out before you get married,,, thats why i dont understand OPRA,, she is living with her bf for a long time now and doesnt want to get married so she is sinning and she even said that she believes in God and Jesus ,, daaaaaaaaaa what is she thinking.ty

Answer 6

It depends on whats right for the couple. Perhaps its out of financial need, a woman cant afford to lose a pension from a lost spouse, etc. Theres alot of reasons to live together first. Then you can see if you can stand to live together for a year before you get married and find youre not compatible and end up getting a COSTLY divorce. With the divorce rate at 60% maybe its a good idea.

Answer 7

How does the Christian bible define marriage?

I don't see a biblical requirement for a formal ceremony. Marriage is defined as a bond between man and woman, with no description of how the marriage is initiated. The old testament indicates that a marriage consists of various promises between the two, which will be consumated with the consent of God. But no requirement for a wedding, a witness of a religious leader, or a ring. And the old testament does allow the dissolution of a marriage (at least by the man) for adultery.

So who are you to say who is married, and who isn't? Doesn't your bible say that it's God's job to decide?

Answer 8

Heterosexual couples are usually the only ones who have the legal right to marry and they ABUSE this privilege all over the place. If things were reversed and gay people were telling hetero people they're "wrong" or "sinning" because they are "choosing" to be straight, people would know how it feels to fight for their rights! I am not saying that gay people don't cheat in their relationships, but I think it's just WRONG and SHAMEFUL what heterosexuals do to marriage and make it look like a JOKE, and THEY worry about gay people making marriage look bad! Lots of straight people have made the biggest mockery of what marriage is about: The bonds of lasting love between TWO human beings. Not every couple gets married for different reasons. My aunt doesn't want to marry her boyfriend because he refused to take in her dying father years ago. She refused to marry him after that. They still live together, but no wedding after more than 20 years now. (They are NOT hard-core into religion, though).

Answer 9

GF/BF is supposed to be the stage before fiancee/fiance

An engagement is simply supposed to be a preparation time for marriage, if you become engaged it means you pledge to get married to someone, you are simply making final preparations.

Then when one gets married they are to consumate the marriage through intercourse, with the intention of having children.

It is a sin to dishonor any of these roles, sex is meant only for married people, for once you are married you are one flesh; therefore, it is validated by God as the coming together of two into one. It is also a sin to get engaged without having fully pledged yourself to marry the other at the time; however, if you have a change of heart between the time of the engagement and marriage it would probably be best to put off the marriage. It is a also a sin to get married without full commitment to your spouse, Jesus said "what God has brought together, let no man separate."

Worst of all, if you do get a divorce or have sex with someone prior to marriage you are supposed to repent of these sins, acknowledging them as wrongful to God and being sorry for them, since few seem to understand this, their sins are still upon them if they are unrepentant.

Answer 10

Why do I need to be married to make you happy? My partner and I have been together for over 14 years, we have 2 beautiful children. There is much love in our house and hearts. How does that affect you? I am sure there are aspects of your life that I don't agree to, but I respect your free will, as I do mine. Man kind invented religion, religion invented marriage. GOD created us to love. It is not a sin to love without marriage. Adultery is when you sleep with another, that is not your partner. I teach love and respect for others and themselves. I teach them to love everybody, and go with what is in their hearts. I would be really sad, if they blindly went and did something that they where supposed to do, just because everybody else did. They have to go with their own truth. Their own beliefs. Not necessarily what I believe, but what they believe! I think it's a sin not to do what you believe is right. We all have free will. Do what you will, but harm none!
I hope you find you peace.

Answer 11

It is fine for a girlfriend and boyfriend to date and be friends, they should not have sex until they marry. It is a sin to have sex outside of marriage. All people sin. The Bible says all have sinned and fall short of the Glory of God. That is what Jesus saved us from, when he shed his blood on the cross. Does that mean we should live a sinful lifestyle? No. That does not bring glory to God, and it interferes with a relationship with the Lord here and now.