What is the best joke you have ever heard?

Answer 1

A new lady teacher came to teach 8th standard students. As it was the first day, she gave her intro,
and asked all the students to Introduce themselves with name and hobby.
She said, "Let's start with the boys first."

Boys start giving their intro...
First boy: "My name is John, and my hobby is to see bubble in the Bathtub."
Teacher was confused to listen but said, "Interesting.
Well, Ok.
In fact, we must be honest in telling the hobby. And after all there is essentially a child in each of us. So it's ok John.
Yes next."
Second boy: "Myself Peter and my hobby is to see bubble in the Bathtub."
Teacher now got surprised and said, "Good. I like the spirit of Supporting a friend.

Ok next."
Third boy: "I'm Smith and my hobby is to see bubble in the Bathtub."
Teacher: "Guys are you joking or what? Please be sincere. Ok next."
This continues...
And the last boy stands up "I'm Harry and my hobby is to see Bubble in the bathtub."
Exhausted, the teacher said, "I don't think I will be able to teach un-grown boys for long. Anyway, now the girls please."


First girl: "I'm Julie and my hobby is to see birds."
Teacher: "Good. At last I got something different. Ok next."
Second girl: "I'm Ruby and I like to collect perfumes."
teacher "Now it's like educated grown up girls. Ok next."
You sweet Girl; Yes you..."
Most beautiful girl of the class gets up:
"Mam, my name is Bubble, and my hobby is to take bath three times a day."

Kind, intelligent, loving and hot
This describes everything you are not.
My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you screwed up my life.
I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.

lotz may b i'll tell u later here is my e-mail adress
[e-mail]

Answer 2

This was 1 of my best joke i have ever heard
Winston Peters is visiting a school.

In one class, he asks the students if anyone can give him an example of a "tragedy". One little boy stands up and offersthat, "if my best friend who lives next door was playing in the street when a car came along and killed him, that would be a tragedy".

"No," Winston says, "That would be an ACCIDENT."

A girl raises her hand. "If a school bus carrying fifty children drove off a cliff, killing everyone involved... that would be a tragedy". "I'm afraid not, "explains Winston, "that is what we would call a GREAT LOSS."

The room is silent, none of the other children volunteer. "What?" asks Winston, "isn't there any one here who can give me an example of a tragedy?"

Finally, a boy in the back raises his hand. In a timid voice, he says: "If an airplane carrying Winston Peters was blown up by a bomb, THAT would be a tragedy".

"Wonderful!" Winston beams. "Marvelous! And can you tell me WHY that would be a tragedy?" "Well," says the boy, "because it wouldn't be an accident, and it certainly wouldn't be a great loss!"

Answer 3

No best joke. most jokes nowadays are racist, blonde jokes, "yo mama" jokes, and they could all be offensive and most are rude and crude. But there was a good riddle I found in the jokes and riddles category:

A woman shoots her husband, holds hime under water for five monutes and then hangs him. Ten minutes later she and her husband go out to dinner.....How could this be?


She's a photographer. Shoots him>>>>with her camera

Holds him under water for five minutes>>>>developes the picture

Hangs him>>>> to dry

Answer 4

Little James was sitting in class doing math problems when his
teacher picked on him to answer a question.

"James," she said, "if there were five birds sitting on a fence
and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?"

"None," replied James, "because I would shoot one and the rest
would fly away."

"Well, the answer I was looking for is four," said the teacher,
"but I like the way you are thinking."

Then Little James said, "I have a question for you now.
If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a
shop, one was licking her cone, the second was biting
the cone and the third was sucking the cone, which one is married?"

The teacher blushed and answered meekly, "Well, I'm not sure. I
guess the one sucking the cone..."

"No," said Little James, "the one with the wedding ring
on her finger, but I like the way you are thinking!"

Answer 5

A women visits her gynocolgoist. She lays on the table puts her feet up and the doctor says, "Why do you have a tattoo fo a turkey on the inside of your left thigh and a tattoo of a christmas tree on the inside of your right thigh?". The woman replies, "Everyone knows the best eating is between Thanksgiving and Christmas!" Best wishes

Answer 6

George Bush!

Answer 7

Think of words ending in GRY. (GRY is not a word). Hungry and Angry are 2 of them. There are only 3 words in the English language. What's the 3rd word?

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Language. Read it again. When it says there are only 3 words in (1) the (2) english (3) language. What's the 3 word? I just said THINK of words ending in Gry.

Answer 8

A blonde calls her boyfriend on the phone with a problem.

"What's the matter?" he asks.

"Well, I've bought this jigsaw puzzle, but it's too hard.

None of the pieces fit together and I can't find any edges."

"What's the picture of?", he asks.

"It's of a big rooster", she replies.

"All right," he says, "I'll come over and have a look."

When he arrives, she thanks him for coming over and leads him over to the kitchen table where she has it laid out. He takes one look at what she's been struggling with and says, "Oh, for heavens sake, put the cornflakes back in the box!"

Answer 9

Alaskan Kayak Accident


The day after his wife disappeared in a kayaking accident, an Anchorage man answered his door to find two grim-faced Alaska State Troopers.

"We're sorry Mr. Wilkens, but we have some information about your wife," said one trooper.

"Tell me! Did you find her?!" Wilkens shouted.

The troopers looked at each other. One said, "We have some bad news, some good news, and some really great news. Which do you want to hear first?"

Fearing the worst, an ashen Mr. Wilkens said, "Give me the bad news first."

The trooper said, "I'm sorry to tell you, sir, but this morning we found your wife's body in Kachemak Bay."

"Oh my God!" exclaimed Wilkens. Swallowing hard, he asked, "What's the good news?"

The trooper continued, "When we pulled her up, she had 12 twenty-five pound king crabs and 6 good-size Dungeness crabs clinging to her."
Stunned, Mr. Wilkens demanded, "If that's the good news, what's the great news?"

The trooper said, "We're going to pull her up again tomorrow."

Answer 10

Doctor:- Yeh lo yeh medicine se tumhe aaram milajayega, isko ek chamach Duphar ko, ek chamach sham or ek raat ko le lena.
Patient:_ Rehne do Doctor mere pas itne chamach nahi hai.