Best jokes about France and french people?

Question

Tell me some good jokes about France and french people.

Answer 1

WHY? Why make fun of frenchies? You are racist! BBBOOOO!

Answer 2

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RE:
Best jokes about France and french people?
Tell me some good jokes about France and french people.

Answer 3

Jokes About The French

Answer 4

A lion in the zoo was lying in the sun licking its rear end when a visitor turned to the zoo keeper and said, "That's a docile old thing isn't it?"
"No way," said the zoo keeper, "it's the most ferocious beast in the zoo. Why just an hour ago it dragged a Frenchman into the cage and completely devoured him."

"Hardly seems possible" said the astonished visitor, "but why is it lying there licking its rear?"

"The poor thing is trying to get the taste out of its mouth."


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George Bush, Jaques Chirac and Tony Blair all go hunting. At the end of the night, they are cleaning their game and having a drink when Tony Blair stands, throws a bottle of whiskey in the air and yells "For Queen and country". He then pulls out a pistol and shoots the bottle out of the air.
Chirac stands and throws a bottle of champagne in the air screaming, "Viva la France". He, too, pulls his pistol and shoots the bottle.

George, not to be out done throws a can of beer in the air and pulls out his pistol. Then he shoots Chirac and yells "It doesn't get any better than this".


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The only seat available on the train was directly adjacent to a well dressed middle aged French woman and the seat was being used by her dog.
The weary traveler asked, "Ma'am, please move your dog. I need that seat." The French woman looked down her nose at the American, sniffed and said, You Americans. Your are such a rude class of people. Can't you see my little FiFi is using that seat?"

The American walked away, determined to find a place to rest, but after another trip down to the end of the train, found himself again facing the woman with the dog. Again he asked, "Please, lady. May I sit there?". I'm very tired."

The French woman wrinkled her nose and snorted "You Americans! Not only are you rude, you are also arrogant....Imagine!"

The American didn't say anything else, he leaned over, picked up the dog, tossed it out the window of the train and sat down in the empty seat. The woman shrieked and railed, and demanded that someone defend her honor and chastise the American.

An English man sitting across the aisle spoke up indignantly "You know,sir, you Americans do seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You eat holding the fork in the wrong hand. You drive your autos on the wrong side of the road. And now, Sir, you've thrown the wrong ***** out the window."


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You are the President of the United States. Dozens of astronomers have spotted a meteor that is headed towards the earth. They have calculated that it will strike France in three days, at approximately 3:30 a. m. EST. The meteor is large enough to wipe France from the face of the earth.
France and the UN have requested that the United States immediately send all available ships and aircraft to evacuate the French population. Hundreds of thousands of French people are gathered on Omaha Beach at Normandy hoping for U. S. ships to appear on the horizon.

The ships and planes you could send are being used to fight the war on terror overseas. As President, you must decide: (1) Do you stay up that night to watch live coverage of the impact, or (2) Do you tape it and watch it the next day?

WHY NOW? The U. S. "needs more time" to consider the request for evacuation. We need absolute proof that there is a meteor. The alleged meteor is not visible to the naked eye. UN meteor inspectors should be sent to astronomical observatories next month to spend 90 days carefully examining photographic evidence of the alleged meteor, and then present their findings to the Security Council. The reason for the request should be carefully evaluated, and the U.N. should be asked to fully debate the subject and then give UNANIMOUS consent to a resolution showing that the whole world supports the request. The U. S. should not act unilaterally, hastily, precipitously, nor preemptively. EVERY member nation should contribute ships to the effort before the U. S. takes any action whatsoever.


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NEWS FLASH
According to a high ranking French source wishing to remain anonymous, French leadership was enormously relieved that Iraq was overrun by Coalition forces faster than France was overrun by Germany in WWII.
Had the French not hindered the Coalition Forces, France might have remained the world's most easily conquered nation.

This proves that Chirac is not quite as dumb as the world thinks, and that treachery has once again served France's national needs.


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Q: What do you call a Frenchman advancing on Baghdad?
A: A salesman.
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There's an old saying...
Raise your right hand if you like the French...
Raise both hands if you are French.
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"I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French one behind me."
---General George S. Patton
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A French and American general were surveying a battlefield. A bullet strikes the American general, grazing his arm. He shouts "Aide! Bring me my red jacket!"
The French general asks "Why did you do that?"

The American general responds "So my men don't see that I'm bleeding, and lose hope."

A second bullet narrowly misses the French general's ear, and he shouts: "Aide! Bring me my brown trousers!"

Answer 5

here goes...
A country called France had fried french people who were far from the pyrennes and they were all free.

Answer 6

What's the difference between French wine and American wine?

A.Nobody knows,we American's stopped buying it!

Answer 7

Q.) How many French soldiers does it take to defend Paris?

A.) No one knows... it's never been tried.

Answer 8

French women don't shave their armpits, they braid them!