The last time that I spoke to my boyfriend was 4 days ago, over the phone. I called him work to see if he was okay, because I hadn't heard from him for 5 days before that. He sounded like he was mad that I had called him. He said very firmly that he would call me later. That it won't be tomorrow because he has to go to Chicago for work. Just later. It made me cry when I hung up the phone.
When we are together he showers me with compliments and affection. He tells me how much he loves me. I often don't hear from him for days due to his hectic work schedule. He works 70+ hours, 6 days a week. So I am usually the one that calls him, I only call every few days. He told me the other day that it is forbidden for him to have a relationship with the customers (I am a customer at his store). He is clinically depressed, and shy. I don't want to come off as trying too hard or nagging him. But I miss him. I am trying to be mature about this (I am 25, he is 36). I love him. What should I do?
2006-07-01 02:32:56 · 14 answers · asked by yadirajosie 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
In your best interests, you need to move on. He either has no time for a relationship, or is having one with someone else....in either case, you lose. No need to pursue it any further....count your losses and move on. You deserve better than this!
2006-07-01 02:46:24 · answer #1 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give him room girl....you must accept what he says.
If he makes it clear to you that you are very important to him when he is with you then respect his time when you are not.
There are a lot of businesses that do frown on employee's being too friendly with the customers. And when at work the last thing he needs is to be interrupted with non-business things. Some companies monitor phone calls. This could not be good for him.
So what do you do? There is no doubt there is time when he does not work. Can you call him then? How often does he call you?
How often do you get together?
If the answers to all these questions leave you asking what does he do with his free time then it's time you found out. You may have more invested in this relationship than he does and you need to know that.
Regardless of how you answer these questions you do need to give him space if he needs it. If you don't you will drive him away.
If he loves you as much as he says he will want to be with you as much as he can. And he will love you even more if he knows you trust him. If he doesn't love you then nothing you can do will make a difference.
2006-07-01 09:50:54 · answer #2 · answered by John B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I work alot of hours but i still find time to call the person i love, Sounds like to me he is making a excuse to get away cause you say that he is not aloud to have a relationship with a customers , when did that take effect didnt he tell you that when you got together in the first place, maybe you ought to ask him if he still wants the relationship. There is always time and a place for love and a relationship...
2006-07-01 09:46:01 · answer #3 · answered by Tim H 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you're acting like a clinging vine and it's annoying for him. Get a life, perhaps other male and female friends and start playing hard to get.
Since you are a customer, stop using his company and then he'll have to try to win you back that way. But make it a matter of you having a real life and not needing him at all. Always flirt from a position of strength and having a good time rather than from a wimpy, needy stance. Good luck.
2006-07-01 09:43:34 · answer #4 · answered by rajjpuut 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your situation sounds very familiar to me. I've been through something like this before. I was the one who always called, I made all the efforts regarding our relationship. He always told me he loved me but then it was the distance between us and the very few times that I actually got him on the phone... it was just too little too late and we split up.
Your man is 36, he needs to step up and be a man in this relationship and realize that it takes a lot of time and attention to make things work.
Good luck, I hope things work out well for you.
2006-07-01 09:41:14 · answer #5 · answered by Cheryl K 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Separate "I Love Him" from "I Have a Healthy Relationship with Him." He's depressed, works all of the time, doesn't call for 5 days then isn't happy to hear from me. Hmm... Ask yourself, am I satisfied? Usually people are just looking for reinforcement of what they already know. You know he isn't treating you right, you know you can do better, you know you should leave him. Does he really love you the way you deserve to be loved? Would you let someone tell you that you can't have a relationship with someone you love??? Silly.
2006-07-01 09:50:09 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand you only want advice from men. So here goes my unsolicited advice. You have clearly demonstrated you care and he has responded in a less then favorable way. Forget it, just let it go. Let some time pass. If he continues to blow you off then let it go. Another man will come around that will value you and love you the way you deserve.
2006-07-01 09:44:32 · answer #7 · answered by latina 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
BE HAPPY.............TRUST ME . Ican solve this problem
U r thinking now frm ur side . Just be possitive .... Think of him who loves and cares u .Some times that may be a harder time for him.
And u said that he working 70 hrs ,Oh really hard working .. he is working 4 u 2. So call him at a good time ..... you will get result
**********najeeb_2346@yahoo.com******
2006-07-01 10:03:05 · answer #8 · answered by najeeb 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like a workaholic with other problems also. Move on, you can find someone who will put more work into the relationship.
2006-07-01 09:37:32 · answer #9 · answered by Norm 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a big age gap but I say it's OK to go up to 12 years. Maybe if you just talk to him face to feac and say just what you said: that you miss him. Then talk and try to work things out. Maybe he could cann you more ect.
2006-07-01 09:40:26 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋