Tell me your best joke about the state of Florida:?

Answer 1

A couple of Florida hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?”

The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard.

The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?“

Answer 2

There was a referendum in Florida about whether the Silver Surfer or the Flash sucks more. Due to faulty voting polls and confused voters, Pat Buchanan came out the winner.

Answer 3

The state of Florida is a joke - one side full of little old ladies the other gangsters - can't win

Answer 4

properly that's a grimy one even nonetheless that's humorous, lol -some not so smart adult males wanted to rob a financial corporation because of the fact they have been down on their success with the financial device being undesirable and all. so that they desperate to come again up with a incredibly good plan over here few days on the thank you to rob a financial corporation in the time of the night. Few days exceeded and it became approximately 9:00 pm on a Sunday night. they arrive on the financial corporation and are in a position to actual ruin into the financial corporation. As they circulate in the time of the financial corporation with their flashlights they discover the vault. They use their how you are able to someway crack into it. getting into the vault they comprehend they don’t see any money merely deposit bins. the two adult males commence establishing the secure practices deposit bins and the 1st adult males opens one and says “damn no ******* money, we could merely shop finding. the different guy opens the subsequent field and says “Holy ****, there is pudding in right here, properly.. a minimum of i will consume it!” So he eats the pudding and maintains to open greater bins. the guy famous yet another pudding in a field and says, “What the hell I’m eating this one too!” They artwork all night breaking into those secure practices deposit bins with not something yet pudding in merely approximately all and sundry as they consume merely approximately all the pudding they might consume. One guy says, “guy this has have been given merely slightly a strange flavor to it.” ultimately the idiots have been annoyed adequate and desperate to offer up and left the financial corporation empty surpassed to circulate residing house. the subsequent morning they the two arise for artwork and became on the information in user-friendly terms to confirm this headline! - “final night some unknown human beings broke into the San Francisco STD learn Sperm financial corporation!”

Answer 5

How come you always encounter a 90 mile headwind when leaving Florida?



Because the state sucks!

Answer 6

Don't have one for Florida in particular, so how about a piece of general southern humor??


Southern Astrology Signs

Southerners are pretty skeptical of horoscopes and the people that read them.
If we are to ever fully understand all the star signs and the people they represent, we need symbols that all true Southerners
understand: See the list below...

WHAT'S YOUR SOUTHERN SIGN?

OKRA (Dec 22 - Jan 20)
Tough on the outside but tender on the inside.
Okras have tremendous influence.
Older Okras can look back over life and see the seeds of his influence everywhere.
You can do something good each day if you try.

CHITLIN (Jan 21 - Feb 19)
Chitlins come from humble backgrounds.
A Chitlin, however, will make something of himself if he is motivated and has lots of seasoning.
In dealing with Chitlins, be careful, they may surprise you.
They can erupt like Vesuvius.
Chitlins are best with Catfish and Okra.

BOLL WEEVIL (Feb 20 - March 20)
You have an overwhelming curiosity.
You're unsatisfied with the surface of things, and you feel the need to bore deep into the interior of everything.
Needless to say, you are very intense and driven as if you had some inner hunger.
You love to stay busy and tend to work too much.
No one in their right mind is going to marry you, so don't worry about it.

MOON PIE (March 21 - April 20)
You're the type that spends a lot of time on the front porch.
A cinch to recognize the physical appearance of Moon Pies.
Big and round are the key words here.
You should marry anybody who you can get remotely interested in the idea.
It's not going to be easy.
You always have a big smile and are happy.
This might be the year to think about aerobics.
Maybe not.

POSSUM (April 21 - May 21)
When confronted with life's difficulties, possums have a marked tendency to withdraw and develop a don't-bother-me-about-it attitude.
Sometimes you become so withdrawn, people actually think you're dead.
This strategy is probably not psychologically healthy but seems to work for you.
You are a rare breed.
Most folks love to watch you work and play.
You are a night person and mind your own business.

CRAWFISH (May 22 - June 21)
Crawfish is a water sign.
If you work in an office, you're hanging around the water cooler.
Crawfish prefer the beach to the mountains, the pool to the golf course, and the bathtub to the living room.
You tend not to be particularly attractive physically, but you have very, very good heads.

COLLARDS (June 22 - July 23)
Collards have a genius for communication.
They love to get in the melting pot of life and share their essence with the essence of those around them.
Collards make good social workers, psychologists, and baseball managers.
As far as your personal life goes, Collards, should stay away from Crawfish.
It just won't work.
Avoid a big heartache.

CATFISH (July 24 - Aug 23)
Catfish are traditionalists in matters of the heart, although one's whiskers may cause problems for loved ones.
You Catfish are never easy people to understand.
You run fast.
You work and play hard.
Even though you prefer the muddy bottoms to the clear surface of life, you are liked by most.
Above all else, Catfish should stay away from Moon Pies.

GRITS (Aug 24 - Sept 23)
Your highest aim is to be with others like yourself.
You like to huddle together with a big crowd of other Grits.
You love to travel though, so you should think about joining a club.
Where do you like to go?
Anywhere they have cheese, gravy, bacon, butter, or eggs and a good time.
If you can go somewhere where they have all these things, that serves you well.
You are pure in heart.

BOILED PEANUTS (Sept 24 - Oct 23)
You have a passionate desire to help your fellow man.
Unfortunately, those who know you best, your friends and loved ones, may find that your personality is much too salty, and their criticism will affect you deeply because you are really much softer than you appear.
You should go right ahead and marry anybody you want to because in a certain way, yours is a charmed life.
On the road of life, you can be sure that people will always pull over and stop for you.

BUTTER BEAN (Oct 24 - Nov 22)
Always invite a Butter Bean to a party because Butter Beans get along well with everybody.
You, as a Butter Bean, should be proud.
You've grown on the vine of life, and you feel at home no matter what the setting.
You can sit next to anybody.
However, you, too, shouldn't have anything to do with Moon Pies.

ARMADILLO (Nov 23 - Dec 21)
You have a tendency to develop a tough exterior, but you are actually quite gentle and kind inside.
A good evening for you?
Old friends, a fire, some roots, fruit, worms, and insects.
You are a throwback.
You're not concerned with today's fashions and trends.
You're not concerned with anything about today.
You're almost prehistoric in your interests and behavior patterns.
You probably want to marry another Armadillo, but a Possum is another somewhat kinky mating possibility.

Answer 7

Birds dont really migrate to Florida,they just follow the old vacationers that feed them.

Answer 8

I like Florida or I hate it!

Answer 9

A little girl asks her "Daddy, where do old people go when they "go away" "
The father replies "florida"

Answer 10

I've got an awesome cartoon/photo that was done after the fiasco with the voting problems during the election years ago....do you remember how votes were messed up?? Anyway, friend sent it to me...email me through my profile on here, and I'll send it to you, it's hilarious! :)