Alcohol and minors question?

Question

I have a friend who has a 17 year old son. She allows him to have parties at her house because she would rather them be there than at a location without any parents watching over and keeping track of what is going on (which is what the teens would do if now allowed to be there). We know that alcohol - especially liquor - and teens can be dangerous and they don't know when to stop before it gets bad. I personally think what she is doing may be saving at least one life because she really watches them. At the same time they are having fun and not getting out of control or in trouble. What is your take on this? Don't tell me underage drinking is illegal as I KNOW THIS AND I'M NOT DOING ANYTHING except getting your opinion. Plus when people come in, keys are immediately taken and hidden away and everyone stays over (there is room). So no one is leaving after drinking either. What is your take on this other than the legality of it????

BTW-she isn't supplying anything except a safe place. The kids could be at someone else's house w/no parental supervision and they have. This is INSTEAD of that. When you have a kid almost 18 you can't just lock him in the house. These are not bad kids and it's not an on-going thing.

Answer 1

As long as all the parents are informed and OK with it, I don't see where it would be anyone else's business. I think it's best that young people learn to use alcohol responsibly, under the supervision of parents or other trusted adults. That way there is supervision and control. If teens can only learn about alcohol by "sneaking", then there is neither supervision nor control, a very risky situation.

Answer 2

While she may be thinking that she is helping the situation, by keeping a controlled environment for underage drinking and not allowing them to drive, it doesn't make it right.

It boils down to the fact that she is providing alcohol to a minor and contributing to the delinquency of a minor. All chargeable offenses, which could leave her without her children, her house, her reputation, and her life, since she would locked up so fast that she wouldn't have time to throw away the empty beer cans after her children's Friday night binge.

You can't talk about this without talking about the legal aspect, since it's not just the children's futures being put at stake (many states will prohibit/take away an underage person's drivers license regardless if they were involved in a underage DUI), but also the parent's as well.

If they are up the risk of loosing everything just so that their kid can get drunk and be popular, then they shouldn't complain and defend what they did when they get caught.

Answer 3

Aside from the legal ramifications that surround this issue, I would say that it is a considerate thing to do with regard to being an on hand chaperone at such functions. Yet, what I think could potentially happen is that some, not all, of the teens will become dependent upon the alcohol and undergoe continued prolonged use. Potentially over his or her lifetime. I agree with the fact that your friend keep them out of harms way when they are at her house, yet for those teens who would want to drink more than others, it is not an issue of always going to her house, As we know, many alcoholics tend to shelter themselves away from others when they feel that they have had tooo much or simply to hide the fact that there is a problem. Essentially this could be a rugged trip down a wrong path. Sure many alcoholics today enjoy being in good company, yet there are times when the alcoholic wants to be alone and in the pits of his or her problems so that those problems can be "solved." I hope that this does not occur with any of these teens, but as we know, there are genetic contributions and individual environements that contribute to a potential disease such a alcoholism. Take care and consider!

Answer 4

The human brain is not developed until the approximate age of 21. Anything done during this time to interfere with that development will have lasting effects. Plus, the earlier a person starts drinking, the more likely they are to develop the disease of alcoholism. Like you said, they don't know when to stop. This puts them at an extremely high rate of risk for alcohol poisoning which can cause brain damage and even death. I won't tell you underage drinking is illegal because everyone knows that already. Contributing to the delinquincy of a minor (supplying) is illegal also. She is not helping them in any way by keeping them at her house. These teens need to be educated about what it can do to their brains and bodies. Repeated binge drinking can cause breast growth and testicular shrinkage in males. It increases a females chances of getting breast cancer and other cancers.

Answer 5

My mother is like that. She would rather I stay home instead of being out and about doing goodness only knew what. At least she can keep an eye on everyone that is over. It's actually a good idea, to an extent because she is allowing them to have their fun, but at the same time, she's keeping them safe. I myself learned after a whole two times of this that it was just pointless to even drink alcoholic beverages. Getting drunk isn't exactly the most fun thing to do.

Answer 6

I think a "they're going to do it anyway, so why not let them do it under supervision?" take on this issue is dangerous. There are problems other than drunk driving to be considered, especially when all the *tipsy* teens all end up staying over at the same place. What about drunken sex? I know your friend is probably doing her best, but teenagers are very resourceful when it comes to finding a way to dodge watchful eyes.

I still believe talking to kids and keeping a VERY close eye on them (making sure you're up when they get home, for instance) are the best techniques to prevent teens from drinking.

Answer 7

This can be a very touch and go subject. I feel that she is not doing anything wrong. I am not a mother but it wasn't too long ago that I was out drinking underage and things like that. I am now 23. When I was in high school I had a friend whose mother was like that. She allowed drinking to go on at her house(she did not supply it) because she knew we were going to do it anyway and she felt this was safer. I think it did keep us out of a lot of trouble. If we didn't have her house to go to we would have drove around drinking and things like that. Not smart but we were kids...

Answer 8

A friend's parent did this when I was in high school. They had 3 children ranging about 6 years in age and I was smack in the middle. They collected keys at the door and required everyone who drank to either spend the night at their house or have a designated driver (approved by them). Although no one ever got hurt, they did eventually get caught by the police and were arrested for contributing to the delinquency of minors.

But I do commend your friend for trying to control the problem of underage drinking or at least keep the kids safe.

Answer 9

I think that she's a good mother for attempting to control the situation. But you have to remember, there's a reason why the legal age for drinking is 21. Young adults' bodies are still developing at that stage, and it would be a bad thing to let alcohol inhibit growth and development.

Also, I'm sure teenagers can find plenty of ways to keep themselves amused and entertained without bringing alcohol into the situation.

Answer 10

I have a wonderful friend that did the same thing -- her son is now early 20's and brings drugs into the house (along with his friends) because he KNOWS that Mom will allow it - they are 'safer' there -- like the drugs know that. Yes, she takes the keys, etc also. So, without getting into legalities -- it is just wrong - even with Mom's good intentions, she is unintentionally feeding a possible addiction problem - not only for her own son, but the friends too.