Should adopted kids be fully supported by their parents if they go to college?

Question

I just met with an adopted kid that's going to college. The adopted parents make lots of money, but won't help her out. They want her to work 40 hours/week (at a low-pay job) AND go to school full-time. I know that's a bad combination that ususally leads to dropping out because of being to tired to earn better grades.

The family adjusted (taxable) income is over $50K and she is an only child.

There may indeed be far more to this story... Her parents didn't come with her to summer registration. Seeing that they were invited and that all the other kids brought their parents, you could say that she stood out a little...

Their income level ensures that she is not eligible for most financial aid.

The Fed will not allow her to declare her independence for aid until she is 23... She just graduated from high school. Grants will not be an option. Loans will probably all be unsubsidized. She is not eligible for academic scholarships. If she were to recieve other scholarships, the odds of maintaining them while working that much are very slim.

This is a trick question. I threw in all the details to throw you off into a false assumption about the word "support." The initial question, taken as an absolute, has multiple meanings...

;-)

Answer 1

Kind of sad, there only child and they won't support her education, the only way i don't support my children's education is if there screwing around and partying instead of working hard at getting good grades.
But the answer is YES

Answer 2

There are BUUUUTTTTLOADS of kids that don't get their college paid for !

I'm one of them! And I could never get financial aid because I made too much money or I didn't qualify for whatever freaking reason. Personally I hate our education system - the poor rape the system and a good majority abuse it. We spend so much on war, and can't even take 2% of it to let everybody have the opportunity to equal education.

Sorry.., anyway., the kid being adopted has nothing to do with anything. The parents took on the responsibility of being a parent just like a birth parent would.

In my eyes, your question is an impossible question to answer.

And the family income has nothing to do with it either.

It has to do with personal responsibilities and, morals and values. The key behind this is the word "personal". At this point in time, our society (you and I) have no choice in determining what another parent is or is not to provide when it comes to college education.

Kids don't drop out mostly because of this supposed bad combination.. they drop out because they're tired of it or just can't hack it.

I personally feel that every parent (biological or not) should not have a child unless they can afford to put money aside for education starting the day the child is born.

I also think if you are dependent or a burden on the public system and the tax payers, you should not have any additional children than you already have.

I also think that children should all have equal education and equal healthcare benefits. I was neglected and suffer from a few different aspects. It's not fair. But at this point in American history, life just isn't fair - for children - or most importantly to the children - who have no choice.

I suggest that this adopted child be happy that they were given the chance of a good life. Some of us have to work harder than others. It sucks, but it DOES make us appreciate things more.

I know several ladies.. single mothers, worked full time AND went to school and took care of their children (responsibly).. one of them is a lawyer now! To this day it still amazes me how she did all that. And believe it or not, she also managed to start saving for the childs education from day one. Talk about being independently responsible! I'm not even capable of pulling that off!

Just curious, if the parents make lots of money, do you also think they should give their child a house and a car and pay for all the wedding expenses?

Answer 3

Of course being adopted should have nothing to do with it. But some parents, blood or adopted, feel they are teaching their child responsibility. And if they are 18, they don't have to legally support them. However, if my child was still living with me, I would do what I could to help pay for their college.

Getting a job isn't a bad thing. But there is definitely more to this than meets the eye. I can't imagine not being with my child at registration, usually parents accompany their child. I think there is a an underlying factor. How can she work full-time and go to school full-time.

Yes they will have a struggle in school, if they have to pay for this all on their own. I would suggest looking into an on line school temporarily until they have made enough money to save. The courses on line are just as good as sitting in a classroom.

Answer 4

I think maybe they should help but i think she should work maybe not 40 hours. My brother is 28 and my grandparents paid for his degree. He got a 4.0. He never had a job. They paid for him to have an apartment, a nice car, and partying money to. Now he has lost 6 maybe even 7 jobs. the employers say he is not accurate and has no speed. Most jobs in his field have a quota you have to meet. He is also always late and seems to think there is nothing wrong with it. He says being late has nothing to do with being fired. I think he learned no responsibility and now can't function in the real world. I am 25 and didn't get to go to college. My grandparents would not help me pay for it. Because I decided to have a family at age 21. I will go to college once they are in school. But i have a good job and a nice house and vehicles. I earned all of it from having a nearly full time job from the time i was 16 while going to high school. I am glad my parents made me do it. I earned everything I have on my own at first. And now with my husband it is a great experience. I think I am much better prepared for life than my brother.

Answer 5

I don't think this is a question of being adopted or not.
I am not convinced any parents are obligated to fully support the college education of their children.
It is SOO expensive. And such a waste if the student isn't really motivated to be there.
Sure, it is great if parents help kids acheive their goals, but college age is pretty much adult age. You should be prepared to work for the things you want by that time. Parents don't OWE kids college fees (or the cost of a lavish wedding either). Maybe a lot of people do pay it, but it is rude and greedy of kids to just expect it and get mad if it isn't offered.

My parents both worked and contributed what they could reasonably afford to my education, but I understood it was really up to me to pay my own way as much as possible - particularly since I had younger brothers and sisters behind me. You can work close to full time and still succeed in school. I did and so did many of my friends. Cuts down on party time, but hey, that wasn't the first priority for being there.

Answer 6

Yes, but not necessarily financially. All kids whether adopted or biological need the love and emotional support of their parents throughout life. But each "house" has it own rules about not being a slacker and really putting forth maximum effort to make your own way in life and your own dreams come true. Why didn't this kids get any scholarships??? With a SAT of 1000 (which is not too hard to to) you can get 75% of your tuition paid.... in some states... I'm sure there is more to this story...I'm all for parental support and 100% against slackers and moochers...

Answer 7

I think being adopted has nothing to do with it. The parents probably want their child to understand the value of the education. I worked all through college. My parents helped a little, but they did not have much money and so I worked and took out loans. I would bet that these parents would do the same thing with a biological child.

Answer 8

It seems like the parents are trying to teach her a valuable lesson - if you want something bad enought you will do whatever you have to do to get it. In this case they are making her pay her own way. I don't necessarily think this is a bad thing, it teaches her the value of a dollar. However, that said, if this were my child (and I do have a child in college) I would help out a little bit. I may not necessarily foot the bill, but having been a college student myself at one point, I know how hard it is to work and go to school and find time to do your homework, so I would try to ease the burden a little bit.

Answer 9

Let me ask you something, when you adopted this kid did you only adopt him/her so you could be a guardian until they turned 18 or did you adopt this kid because you wanted to be a parent and a parents responsibility is to help their kids out as much as possible and sometimes that means paying for college... that's just my opinion but how dose she feel about it, and are her parents doing this because she is adopted or because they want to teach her the valuable life lesson of working for what you really want because if this is the case they already know that she has the will power to work and stay in school and that when she puts her mind to something she dose it did you ever think of that?

Answer 10

I don't think that it has anything to do with her being adopted...they would probably do that even if she wasn't adopted. I worked my way through school, and got very little, if any, financial support from my parents. It taught me that nothing comes easy...and you can't expect to get anywhere without hard work. Granted, my parents didn't have much money at the time. But I think even if they did, they would still have wanted me to learn the hard, but valuable lesson in hard work and ethics.

I also paid for my own car, and insurance when I was a newly licensed driver. Again...my parents wanted to teach us about financial responsibility.

Answer 11

That is just wrong regardless of whether they are her adoptive parents or not.
Sure, she could earn some money herself to help with her upkeep but to expect her to work full time and go to school is asking a bit much.
Some people do manage it but as you say, only for a little while. That is a lot of pressure to put on someone.
Is there any way she can get some kind of grant??