I am wondering if there are any "normal/healthy/athletic" men and women out there that can relate. It is a huge secret that I am carrying, and I feel like a Leper. Has anyone met the person that they want to be with, and found themselves having to have the dreaded conversation? What did you say, and what did they say????
2006-06-22 19:52:00 · 8 answers · asked by chandrad 1 in Health ➔ Diseases & Conditions ➔ STDs
Been there, done that. Yes it can be very dreadful. I know how you feel.
I got genital herpes about 5 years ago. I have dated a few guys since then, and I have told EVERY one of them before I became sexually active with them. I can tell you I have never had a bad experience or reaction to telling any of them though. Although, that's not true for some people. When I know the relationship is getting serious I'll sit them down and explain it to them. The best thing I have found to do is to get as much good information about the virus as you can. This way when they ask you questions like, can I get it? How do I get it? Is is deadly? Is it treatable? etc, you will have the right information and you will be able to explain it to them. Also, provide them with some good websites, that way when it's convenient for them, they can go online and read about it themselves.
I am currently engaged to a great guy right now. I told him when we were first dating that I had the virus and I sat him down and explained it all to him. He was concerned of course, but after some serious talks he understood it better. He accepted that he would probably get it from me someday. After a few months, he did end up getting the virus. But we are still together and plan on marrying soon.
Don't let this affect you dating life! There are plenty of guys out there that would completely understand the situation. Even one of the guys I have dated also had the virus! So don't feel like you are the only one, a lot of people have it.
You can email me if you like. Good luck to you!
2006-06-23 05:12:34 · answer #1 · answered by Alli 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
1
2016-08-10 00:26:26 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My sister tells it like it is. She works it into the conversation like "that is why I dumped him". "fortunately I have not had an out break in (how ever long) Study about the herpes and know what you are talking about! Inform do not over whelm. Try and tell a girlfriend and see how it goes. You are not a leper. Just make sure a Doctor defiantly knows if you get pregnant. Try taking L-lsine everyday and stay away from stress. If he runs, let him go.
2006-06-22 20:24:27 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes I am have been in your shoes. It does make you feel like a leper but know that if you really care about this person and they care about you it will not matter. Its extremely hard to confess. I told my soon to be husband and he told me as long as I would tell him if I had outbreaks and try my best to protect him and myself then he didn't have a problem in the world. Everyone has something. I don't just mean an STD. Some little something they are so ashamed of they would almost rather die then have to confess to the one they love. I
2006-06-23 03:46:26 · answer #4 · answered by Samanatha P 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think if you have not been intimate with this person you owe it to them to let them know about the 70% chance they have of getting it from you even if you use protection if they really do care for you and already see a life future with you they will believe in monogomy and take the chance of getting it just to be with you ,supposedly it is easier on men than women anyhow since when they urinate the urine does not touch the man's skin,it is not life threatening so there is others with bigger secrets that they need to share with people they care about.
2006-06-22 20:46:47 · answer #5 · answered by Morrigan N 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A close relative of mine had the same situation and I felt she handled it well. She first got a vibrator to relieve the pressure and was able to focus afterwards and afterewards and afterwards. Then when she felt she found that someone special, she discussed it openly with him and without the buildup of frustration getting in her way.
2006-06-22 21:25:17 · answer #6 · answered by Dianne M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have not but you can go to www.adultfriendfinder.com and find a person who also has herpies and then it wouldn't matter...
2006-06-22 23:54:28 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
one in two people have it. so don't feel alone by any mean's!! just be honest. and use protection.
2006-06-22 20:23:58 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋