If you found out your partner/spouse was HIV positive and you are not, what would you do?

Question

having looked at the answers so far, take this scenario, a couple with kids the husband contracts HIV, he does not do drugs, has not had a transfusion or been hospitalised, claims not to have been unfaithful. But he has the virus, the wife and kids don't after extensive tests.

Answer 1

That would be sooo awful, I don't even want to contemplate it, everyone that has their health should be very grateful.

Answer 2

They are not being totally truthful. A person doesn't contract HIV or AIDS just from shaking hands. A completely honest course of communication NEEDS to be established. At some point (and you may never know when it was) a behavior was practiced that was not safe. It only takes 1 time. The safety of the uninfected spouse and of the children should come first and foremost. If this is not possible for the infected to respect and follow through, then decide if your life and the lives of your children are worth giving up to keep your spouse. The infected person is going to have a long hard road ahead of them and will need all the support they can get. Try to be as supportive as you can but DON'T BE STUPID!

Answer 3

YES I would leave and have unprotected sex with someone else that could possibly have HIV
No! First HIV is not death sentence.
I have read many responses from people that state they couldn’t be relationship with someone that is positive and that is their right but you can’t tell a person status from looking at them or just from a quick conversation from a date you must use protection ALL THE TIME so I get confused and ask those people WHY? do you plan on having unprotected sex? Most people say well I want to get married or I want to have kids,
Okay, I’m HIV positive and my husband is Negative. When I tested positive, him and I had been together a few years, and living together and yes I contracted HIV from unprotected sex with a former lover.
Well I told him, he got tested, and we have been together 13 years with a son that is healthy.
And let me say this you can start out in relationship both NEGATIVE and don’t mean it will stay that way so protect yourself ALL THE TIME

My boyfriend NOW husband decided to take precautions (safe sex) with the woman he loved rather than leaving and having sexual relations taking precautions (safe sex) with women he didn’t love... either way if you are negative you still have to protect yourself ALL THE TIME.

AND if sex is the MOST important part of relationship I say you have a lot of living to do

Answer 4

Dear Friend,

What is more important is not that how he got the infection, but how well he can manage himself after the infection. An infection can happen to your child or grand parents who had to face a surgery or met with an accident, there is no point waisting time building tension on the root of infection.

One thing I want to remind you is that you always can go for a confirmation test too.

An HIV positive person can lead a healthy sexual life if he could use condom carefully. I personally know people without infection successfully lead life with their infected partner.

After some one tested positive it is not the relative who have to take care but the person living with the virus for avoiding unnecessary deceases.

Neglecting, Avoiding and Separating the partner is some times cruel and it is primarily due to the stigma you have about the decease and not of the person. If he was a heart patient or cancer patient what would have been your aptitude towards him?

The person with the virus can be lead a healthy life with out any medication till his CD4 count come down below 200. This period can be prolonged with good food and hygienic environment. After that one can go for Anti Retro Viral Therapy which will further help him to lead a healthy fruitful life.

Happiness is the key to prolong the immunity. Share it. You will be highly benefited by it.

Jacob

Answer 5

Well, first of all, from the scenario you are giving it means that he has cheated on his wife and is now lying to her. If someone does not get HIV from a transfusion or needles then it would have to be from intercourse...unless there is some minute chance that he had an open sore and someone with HIV bled into his open sore or it got in his eyes or something. It is much, much more likely that he is lying about having cheated. If he cheated...leave. No woman deserves to be cheated on and then have to take care of that person for the rest of their life.
If this was that one in million chance that the guy got infected through blood in an open cut or in the eye, she shouldn't leave him now. Would you leave someone if they had cancer? No you give them all your love and help them cope. I've done a lot of work with men with HIV/AIDS and they are still living really well after being diagnosed for many, many years. One gentleman got HIV from a blood transfusion and wife is still with him today and they are one of the biggest reasons why donated blood is ALL screened now.
Stick with the person if you love them. They are still the same they just need you more now then ever.

Answer 6

Depends on whether you were married, how the person became HIV positive, whether they hid from you that they knew they were HIV positive, whether you love them or not and whether the person has a good track record of acting responsibly. If the person got HIV from a blood transfusion then things would be very different than if they got it from visiting prostitutes or hanging out in public rest rooms. You present a complex question but don't give enough info to give much more than a knee jerk answer.

Answer 7

if the guy had not had a blood transfusion (blood is screened for HIV and other disease anyway)and did not do drugs he must have been unfaithful. if it was certain he did not have this disease when the couple got together i would say she had a very strong case for divorce!

Answer 8

If I loved him before I knew I would still love him after he was diagnosed. He needs to use a condom. Everyone needs to learn how to wash their hands properly (Ayeliffe method) and do it frequently. Soap kills the HIV virus. You are at risk from saliva but you need to make your own decisions.
He must be in shock too. You probably both need professional councelling.

Answer 9

Keep loving them but stop kissing or having sex with them.
lf they really loved you,they wouldn't even expect it.
Having read your further details,it's clear the man HAS been unfaithful but is denying it for fear of you leaving him,now that he has this incurable illness.
The risk to the children,(he'll hug and kiss them,they'll eat /drink for same cup,sit on the toilet JUST after he urinated and left some pee on the toilet seat) are enormous.
l say leave.
But keep helping and don't abandon him now that he's vulnerable.

Answer 10

To tell you the truth some people would leave them, This decision is really up to you.