Custody Question?

Question

My daughter's father and I just recently split up. I'm just wondering what are the differences between sole custody with one parent having visitation and joint custody where one parent gets the same amount of visitation or time with the child? Also can the parent seeking custody get a state lawyer or only the one being taken to court? My daughter will be 3 in September. I have been the main provider for her. Her father only took care of her while I worked but had no job for 21 months out of the 30 months we were together. He has no place of his own and I'm in my own place, working full time, and going to college. Is there a better chance that I can get sole custody rather than joint because of this?

I have no problem with him being in her life and that's what I would prefer. I just don't want him to try and do part time parenting. My daughter goes to daycare when I'm at work. As far as family support most of my family is here and in stable enviroments where as many of his family members have felony records and/or haven't had much to do with her. My family sees her often and would watch her when they are available with no problem if I needed them to. He has only been gone for less than a week but he has not attempted to arrange some type of visit with her even though I have made every effort to do this. He refuses to make an agreement to give me sole custody becaus ehe wants to be able to call me and get her whenever he wants. I want set visitation so there is little room for excuses as to the amount of time he spends with her. I know he will see her but I doubt it will be often or regular. I feel our daughter needs some stability when it comes to seeing us both.

I got pregnant at 15. I wasn't looking to have a child but I made a choice to have sex and now I have a child. If I would have been trying to have a child I wouldn't have chosen him by any means. But at least he gave me the best gift I'll have.

Answer 1

there are 2 types of custody

1) sole - one parent is the decision maker. this type of custody is generally awarded in cases where one parent is so irresponsible that s/he is not capable of caring properly for a child, and in cases where the parents cannot communicate - such as cases where one parent has been abusive to the other.

2) shared/joint custody - both parents jointly make decisions regarding the child's care. this type of custody is generally decided out of court when the parties can get along reasonably well. most cases which end up in court end up with one parent getting sole custody.

visitation determines how often the parent who does not live with the child gets to see the child. the parent with visitation does not HAVE to take the child however

in Canada either parent can get legal aid when trying to obtain custody and/or child support

hopefully I've answered your question, or at least clarified some of the issues

Answer 2

Most courts prefer joint custody with the child residing with one parent and having visitations with the non-residential every-other weekend and one evening during the alternating weeks.

Joint custody means that each parent has a 50/50 say in how the child is raised. (For example, where they go during holidays, which religion they are raised, where they live, etc.) Sole custody is when only one parent is making the decisions about how the child is raised and isn't required to take the other parent's opinion or wants into consideration.

The non-residential parent is usually allowed visitations. They're also not restricted when they fail to keep up on child support. (Restricting it during those times is considered to be punishing the child for the parent's transgression.)

Custody and child support are two COMPLETELY seperate issues with family court. With joint custody, the non-residential parent is always ordered to pay support to the residential parent. Even if it's just a small amount because of vastly differing financial status.

Good luck. It isn't a particularly easy road, but it doesn't have to be horrible, either. My ex and I get a long much better now that we're not together than we ever did while we were a couple. We came to the conclusion a long time a go that our jobs were to raise some great kids, not be pissy with each other over our own faults.

Answer 3

for the first question you asked, you answered your own question.Also, both parties involved can get lawyers,thirdly, from what you are saying, you have a beter chance of getting her and being the custodial parent then he does. Plus, on the positive side, youa re her mother, and the majority of the time they will rule in the mother's favor. It's jsut an added plus that you have your own place, a steady job and income, and you're bettering yourself. But, you may just get joint. It all depends on the judge overseeing the whole thing. Of course, you can ask for sole custody right away when you talk to your lawyer. It doesn't have to go all the way to trial. When me and my ex divorced, it was put in the papers that we had joint custody,so you can have in the papers that you're seeking sole custody and state the reasons. Just make sure you tell the truth, b/c if it's found out that you lied you may not get anything, even if it is for the benifit of your child. But it sounds like you don't have anything to worry about. Good luck, I'll be praying for your situation.

Answer 4

Check your state laws. in Ohio if you were not married the mother is the custodial parent and the father has absolutely no rights whatsoever. Sole custody means your are the residential/custodial parent and the other parent has visitation. Shared or joint parenting is where you spend equal amounts of time with the child. If he wants joint custody he has to prove that he can take care of her in that capacity. You should be able to get a court appointed attorney. however if you can get the father to agree you can enter an agreed entry and no attorney needs to be involved. You just have to pay the fee to file.

Good Luck

Answer 5

You're getting a lot of conflicting advice here, I suggest you check with a lawyer in your area.

There are two types of custody, physical and legal. Physical custody determines where the child resides, and legal custody determines who has decision-making capabilities. It's different in every state, so again, check with a lawyer in your area. (Most will give an initial consultation for free or very little) In some states, sole physical and legal default to the mother. In others, physical defaults to the mother, and legal is split.

If you do decide to talk to a lawyer, make sure you write down all your questions before you go so you don't forget any. Involvement from both parents is best for children except under the most extreme (and rare) of circumstances. Good luck!

Answer 6

Most states prefer to have joint custody or "shared parenting" arrangements unless one of the parents can be proven to be a danger to the child. If your daughter's father is just lazy, that's not reason enough to deny joint custody. On the other hand, if he doesn't pay child support, you can limit his access to your daughter. Both parties in a divorce should have their own lawyers. Some lawyers may offer to represent both of you for less than it would cost to have separate lawyers. Don't do that. Your lawyer should be your--and only your--advocate. Good luck!

Answer 7

It sounds to me that you can get sole custody. And if he is not making any attempt to see her then he don't want to or something is coming between him and your daughter and that should never happen. I would go to court and try to get regular visitation for him if he does not want that then don't give him none. You can't just let him come in and out of her life any time he wants to that is going to hurt her more then him not being around at all. I agree he should see her but if what you say is true it don't seem to me he is even trying. good luck

Answer 8

I'm almost certain under these circumstances you could be awarded primary custody, which is different from sole custody. I have sole custody for my children, which means I make all decisions regarding them and do not need him to sign off on anything, be it legal, medical, or whatever. I do listen to his imput, but it really falls on my shoulders.

Joint custody would mean neither party would be intitled to child support. Your daughter will not have a place to call home but two places to visit. And you will have WAY more arguments for the next two decades, because you are not going to see eye-to-eye on much, are you?

Answer 9

Research your state's laws custody laws online or consult a local attorney. Some offer free initial consults. Keep a record of all bills you pay for childcare, food, rent and other expenditures for your daughters care. Keep all telephone bills (with ex's telephone number) as a means of proving parental contact, especially if he is not responsible about picking her up/dropping her off on time. Also, it helps to keep a journal in which you record all meetings, conversations, pick-ups/drops off, etc. with her father. You want to prove that you are her primary caregiver and that you can provide the best home for her. Also, if your parents are in the picture, it helps to show that you have a good relationship and a support system for you and your daughter.

Answer 10

If there is a question of custody; the one who questions it has to suppport their case. The fact that you are providing for yourself and the child is great. And shows responsibility to the court. Your ex would not stand a chance. However, If he is interested in a relationship with the child, he should have one; if he shows himself to be a fit parent. For the visitation, both parents have to have a stable environment for the child. The courts act on behalf of the child; not necessarily the parents.