Alright... this is a very sensitive issue, but it seems like you are actively trying to deal with it, which is good. I have dated a good friend in the past and it actually didn't end horribly and it didn't ruin the relationship. Many people go through what you're going through, so don't feel alone, and it eventually works out one way or the other. One thing I think that really messes up friendships when they become romantic is that the two involved expect that dating is supposed to be something different or special from what they already had. Really, YOU ARE ALREADY IN A RELATIONSHIP whether you call it friendship or dating. What matters most is not worrying about the classification or the name, but that it works for the both of you. I would try really, really hard not to get all uncomfortable about things or to allow things to be akward. You can prevent things from being akward by not doing things without her permission. You don't want her to think that you will be expecting something more than what she is willing to give. If you guys ever do something intimate, you want her to feel comfortable with it and you don't want her to feel like she suddenly has to do it all the time. Sometimes people like to experiment without pressure. Don't get too caught up in trying to think about your relationship as being something totally different and then not build on or enjoy your relationship. I would definitely want to understand why she has never been in a relationship, that is something important to know. Maybe she doesn't even know what a relationship is.
There are several things I think you could do. You could non-verbally try to build on what you've got. You say you guys are hugging alot now, so you could try wrapping your arms or arm around her a little more often, maybe in public, and see how she reacts to it. Or you could see if she's comfortable letting you kiss her on her forehead. But you don't just want to be touchy~feely with her right? You want to build on being exclusive, right?
Well, she already has some sort of attachment to you because you guys are "best friends", so you've got something going. But, like you said, she's never been in a relationship before. Find out why she hasn't been in a serious relationship and maybe you can work with that. Find out if she has an opinion about relationships and what it is. Maybe all you need to do is ask her if she'll be with you and no other guy (whatever that means to her) and that's it. If she's not dating other guys in the first place, that might not be much of a problem for her. She could just promise not to be with anybody else. That doesn't mean be your wife and have babies, it just means not with anybody else. See if you can get that much. Then, you don't have to worry about anybody stealing her and you can relax and be happy.
Do you have a blog or anything to keep us posted? Good luck to you!
2006-06-09 23:56:23
·
answer #1
·
answered by Singwings 1
·
2⤊
0⤋
hey, i have tried the approach of telling her everything and it is has failed more often then not. I know its hard for you to accept the fact that she doesnt like you in that way but in a do or die situation would you rather have her as a friend or as someone you once liked and it didnt work so we dont speak to each other. You know i like this girl a lot once, we did everything you mentioned and i decided to tell her how i feel and it was a dissaster she doesnt even talk to me. We went from really good friends to nothing in seconds. Anyway looking back i think i did the right thing because i know how i felt about her and i know she know and i could have kept going and got no where in the end with. In my case I think she thought i only wanted sex and nothing more, anyway thats not the case as i wouldnt hang around for so long if it was that. What i am trying to say is you are not really being a friend to her in the way it should be, because like me i was friends with her because i liked her more then a friend and i mislead her i guess.
No one on this page can tell you what should or shoudnt do. This is your decision and you need to make on your own. If you say to much it might scare her off, if you arent getting your message across then she may string this along a bit longer. If i could change my situation once again and be in that good place i was with her i would have not said anything, kissed her and if it went pear shape i could blame the alchool.
Sorry this turned into a bit of a miniconfession for me, like i said i havent spoken to her in months.
You need to get a grip of yourself, if it isnt working then back up and get out of that situtaion because its only gonna get worse. I think there some saying about setting the love free and if it comes back its meant to be.
Do what you need to so at least you can say to your self you did everything you could and if it does not work then stay out of the dating game for a while. Take it easy, start to enjoy life. It will be tough because i can imagine she is a big part of yourlife. If you work to together its a reason to come to work, the same applies for schools oars that she may go to.
What ever you decide i wish you the best of luck and i hope it works out better for you then it did for me.
Once it agin its bad at first but it gets better.
2006-06-10 05:09:14
·
answer #2
·
answered by hththted 3
·
0⤊
0⤋
Dude, i can see just by the number of question on this chick that you are OBSESSING. Now i would never, EVER tell someone who is truly in love as you seem to be, to give up. That being said you need to face the simple truth here and that is when it comes to love it always takes two. There is nothing you can do that you haven't already thought of or been advised to do that has changed her mind. Therefore is time to back off her and let her come to you. Women can generally tell when a man is desperate and its a real turnoff. Now i know you won't stop trying so my best advice on it right now is to be more slow and subtle with your approach, remember little things mean alot. Also remember women love men who are CONFIDENTand they love men who PAY ATTENTION while GIVING ATTENTION. Good luck bruh.
2006-06-10 05:02:59
·
answer #3
·
answered by PimpJuice 2
·
0⤊
0⤋
i don't have the time to look at them either or the desire so i'll tell you what just whenever you see her in what now6hours 56 minutes just lay the pipe on her.
2006-06-10 05:02:18
·
answer #4
·
answered by miss wright 05 1
·
0⤊
0⤋
you seem to have alot of problems with this girl and I don't have time to check out all your questions!!
Dating is supposed to be fun, if it isn't get out- that's my advice!
2006-06-10 04:57:35
·
answer #5
·
answered by loobyloo 5
·
0⤊
0⤋