My kids' dog just got hit by a car...How do I explain this to them?

Question

I am really worried how my 3yr old will take the news. He was really attached to the puppy.(My other son is 1yr old so I know he won't understand and would just be as happy with any puppy) Luckily they are away for the weekend with my sister and have no idea right now. I am going to wait until they get home on Sunday but what would be the best thing to tell him? Would it be a good idea just to go get a new puppy before they come home on Sunday? Would that make it easier?

Answer 1

I am so sorry about the loss, it is always so hard to deal with. I am gonna have my hubby, the former Animal Control Officer, jump on to answer this one--because he has advised on these situations MANY times.
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That's true, I have. I have also had the unfortunate job of informing a family that I found their pet dead. There is no perfect way to do this. Be honest and straightforward. Do NOT go out and buy a new puppy to give with the news. This can cause all kinds of problems. They may not be ready for a new puppy and teaching them to replace a pet like that isn't a good idea either. Wait until they come home and sit them down. Tell them that you are truly sorry this happened and support them in their feelings. It's bad news and a loving parent is much better than anything else you could do, bar none. Give them time to get over the loss, it shouldn't take long and then take them to see a new puppy. You have to let the grieving process go through it's phases. Then you can get a new puppy. Best of luck to you, it isn't an easy job.

Answer 2

If you are a religious family, this would be a good way to talk about "Heaven" and how God does things sometimes that we don't understand, but are the best for everyone involved. Please do not lie to your kids. This promotes anger and trust issues when they find out the truth. You want your kids to ALWAYS be able to trust you enough to want to come to you about EVERYTHING. Tell them the truth, exactly how it happened, allow them to grieve, then when they feel a little better about it, take them to the pound and get a new puppy/dog. This way, you'll also be helping them to learn to help save a life that needs them. Never buy an animal from a breeder, there are way too many pets who need a home that are on "death-row" at the pound. This entire experience can be a very good learning experience for everyone. Good luck to you and your children, and I'm sorry for your loss of a beloved family member.

Answer 3

Never, ever lie to a child! When the truth comes out, they will resent you and lose faith in you. Tell your child the truth but in simple terms. There is no need to tell him more than what he asks. Tell him that his puppy is gone and then let him ask the questions. Be truthful but answer in short, simple terms...do not elaborate as he will not understand the details.

Do not get another dog either. He will know the difference and, at the same time, may get the message that he could be easily replaced too! Let him grieve for his pet and, when he is ready for another dog, he will let you know.

P.S. If you tell the child his puppy ran away, he will always have hope that it will return. When it doesn't and he becomes aware of the truth, you will have some serious anger, resentment and trust issues to deal with. Do not give false hope!

Answer 4

What would be good, is to tell them the truth. Parents do enough lying, and death is a part of life too! They will have to learn this eventually! I know it's only a mother's nature to want to protect their child from the realities of life for as long as possible, but you can use this experience to the best of your advantage, by telling them gently what happened to their puppy. Explain to them what death is, and why the puppy died.

After you have done this, you and your children both can go to a local animal shelter and choose a new puppy, that will surely need a home, and someone to love him or her! Your family would be the best candidate for adopting a new puppy from the animal shelter. The cost shouldn't be very expensive, and the experience will be a memorable one for you and your children. You may want to be prepared for animal shelter directors or staff asking you questions on why you want a pet, and you can pull them to the side and whisper, that the puppy that they had died. You should not have to go into detail of his death, but make sure that you are aware of the questions. I hope that you guys go out and get that puppy!

Answer 5

Oh that is so sad!!! My 5 year old has a chihuahua and she would be crushed if something like this happened! Tell him the truth... My daughter also had a pony that my father in law bought her. He had to sell her because she had something wrong with her feet. She just had a baby and my daughter never got to see it. She was 4 when it was sold and he told her that her pony ran away! We still hear our daughter whine and sometimes cry about her pony running away and how we should go look for her. It breaks my heart! I personally wouldn't buy another puppy yet. But you know your child and what would make him happy... Tell him that sometimes accidents happen and and his puppy is in puppy heaven... looking out for him now. Awwww....

Answer 6

I can tell you what not to do. I am trying not to laugh to much because I went through this with my son and it was a turtle. And my daughter drowned it. Was a long time ago. My son was so distraught he dug the turtle back up. If you bury it don't show him where if you think he will dig it back up. Try to explain the death thing best you can and help him understand, I thought he did. I was mistaken. Getting another would be a good idea but let him do it with you. I really hope you can find some humor and good out of this some day. Good Luck.

Answer 7

I would get a new puppy and tell them the old one moved away. Three year olds don't really get death yet. My nephew's puppy hanged himself on his leash accidentally during a thunder storm. They thought for sure he'd be traumatized, but he just asked if they could still get another puppy. If you play it up too much, he'll start to feel dramatic about it too. Don't make it a big deal, and he won't in return.

*I got over it when my mom and dad lied to me about Santa. If a kid hangs on to anger over a dead dog from when he was 3, he's got issues beyond a dead dog. Feel free to tell your son that the dog died, but again, death is too abstract for a 3 year old to grasp.

*I also don't think you meant that you would get another puppy hoping they wouldn't recognize the difference. I assumed you just meant getting a new puppy so they'd still have something to be happy about on Sunday (which in my opinion sounds like a nice plan).

Answer 8

We had to put down my fourteen year old dog last November. I just told my son the truth and he grieved and he cried but at least he knew what happened to her. He was angry and sad for awhile but he is O.K. now. A couple months later we got a new puppy and he was so happy. Tell him the truth and then get them a new puppy when it is time.

Answer 9

They are so young right now, I really think the best thing would be to tell them that it ran away. Then you can all go ut looking for puppies. I know some people may no agree and think you should tell them the truth, but they are so young they cannot understand.

Answer 10

No - by no means should you replace the puppy before your child gets home PLEASE!!!

That will send the message that a living thing can easily be replaced by another living thing. Not good for a toddler.

He will need time to grieve, then move on to another pet.


Good luck - and sorry for the loss of your pet.