I have a 10 year old son who scratches himself when he wants attention or is stressed. How can I stop him???

Answer 1

Brad, There are 2 seperate issues here. So, I think you first need to talk to your son and address the attention needing/getting issue, and then identify why and what is making him stressed out.
If the cause of the stress is always the lack of attention (in his mind) then you can resolve that more easily, but if the cause of stress is a variety of things that seem relatively unrelated then you need to help him to develop coping mechanisms.
The most important thing is that you talk about everything openly and honestly, and make him feel like it is safe to talk to you without fear of judgement or disapproval. Sometimes no matter how loving a parent is, it doesn't change the fact that kids look to their parents for approval and fear judgement.
I don't thik the first thing any parent should do is rush their children into therapy with an unknown person. I think parents have to work thru a step process breaking down the problem into smaller parts/pieces. "Divide and conquer"

Hope this helped in some way. good luck. Samantha

Answer 2

I'd advise setting up a "points based" rewards and punishment system that is a form of behavior modification. The basic components are:
1) a collection of small objects that serve as the points. Perhaps a bag of small plastic beads. These will be your currency. Both of you will need a bag (like for marbles) to put them in and carry them around.
2) several intermediary reward items or experiences. These are things that your son can cash in his points to "buy."
3) a final grand prize for going "x" amount of time (two weeks?) without scratching.

Depending on how often your son scratches - once an hour? once a day? - devise your point system to give "x" number of points for every time period he doesn't scratch. Accompany the giving of points with praise for not scratching and saying how not scratching is good for him and shows he's taking care of himself. If you catch him scratching, he has to pay YOU a penalty that equals several time periods, perhaps three, but try not to discuss it much beyond the matter of payment. The intermediary rewards should be worth something like three days worth of points (that is, if he currently can't go a day without scratching; adjust as needed). Don't go crazy on these rewards: something like going out for an ice cream cone. The grand prize could be something like going to the zoo.

And, yes, the reward system focuses a lot on your son getting attention, but it is POSITIVE attention (not negative attention for scratching). Throughout the process, tell him that you're doing this system because you love him and you want what is best for him, which is practicing healthy behaviors. Emphasize that he is old enough to practice healthy behaviors once he's broken his bad habit, and this system is only for helping him get over a bad habit. Play up the positive attention and play down the negative attention - meaning, you want to give the scratching as little notice as possible.

If you get to the final prize stage, make a big deal of it by saying he's shown how mature he is. Then, if he regresses (starts scratching again) after making it to that stage, be matter-of-fact in saying, "Oh, it's a shame you're doing that again," and then STOP MENTIONING IT. Don't pay it any more attention. He'll change on his own once his peer group has more influence on him. If you don't get to the final stage, stop the system for awhile and say you'll ask him in a few months if he'd like to try again. Think of it like an adult trying to go on a diet and don't nag about it; you're only there to serve as cheer leader for his progress.

Hope all that makes sense. Good luck.

Answer 3

My youngsters? They each had anyone to decide on up after them and now they depart the whole thing because it falls... I believe my daughter is a little bit larger. That pair have had the whole thing passed to them - extra international journeys than I've had - and I'm now not certain they had been performed a favour - each ought to get their priorities correct and get their possess properties rather of ready on Mum and Dad to cark it...their grandparents lived to be almost one hundred on their mom's facet....

Answer 4

I recommend getting him to a therapist, as this illness can progress into more dangerous self mutilation. He with therapy can stop this, he will learn other ways to work through stress, and better ways to get attention. good luck to you both...just give him lots of love and try to have a calm environment until he learns other ways to handle his emotions....

Answer 5

i think you can just try loving him more, and give more attention. i have had that issue before with myself but i got over it all, my parents never cared about me, and i always hated them for it, i always arrgue with my parents and its hard. help him while he is young. just take him out more to simple places, like a park or the zoo, he's 10, so he will grow out of it as well, good luck, and im here if u have anymore questions. its hard as a parent i can just imagine, at least your a caring father, and want ot help him, my parents just laughed at me for everything, i respect you alot.

Answer 6

Check out (http://www.reducingstress.net ) there is a lot of great articles and expert advice on the subject there.

Answer 7

MMM... sounds like he has some issues. Has anything he had any major changes in his life? You might want to talk to his doctor? See what he suggests?

Answer 8

I dont think you can do anything but tell him to stop. Hes to old to tape gloves around his hands, he will grow out of it.

Answer 9

-It's called a tick....alote of kids have them.....
It is when a kid is put into a certain position and reacts in a certain way. Like as if somebody sneezes and you automaticaly say "bless you"

Answer 10

this is a way to pacify his self. talk with him and explain the health issues of his actions and give him 2 options to do instead.