I find it hard to understand why a person can tell a child "you must always tell the truth" while themselves stand there and lie to the child or to others. Why make up stories and fables...they are all lies. Adults are famous for doing this and then expect their children to be better, when the adults are the role models.
2006-06-09 09:53:52 · 30 answers · asked by shalimar0 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
What truths do you feel have been kept from you?
No, there is no Santa Claus
No, there is no Easter Bunny
No, there is no tooth fairy
No, you are not supposed to have sex until you are married
No, you are not the center of you parents' universe---their marriage should come before you.
No, your parents are not supposed to support you all your life.
Yes, you have to be responsible for your own decisions
Yes, you have boundaries and rules; so do adults
Yes, adults lie
Yes, you should always tell the truth
Yes, adults are human
Yes, adults have feelings that get hurt
Yes, parents have more responsibility than you can fathom right now
Yes, parents make mistakes, wrong decisions, and suffer consequences----that's why they can teach you not to make the same mistakes.
Yes, parents should be good role models; but most aren't
Any more questions?
2006-06-09 10:00:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
I'm going to guess that you are not a parent and most likely still a child even. In this case it is true that we adults sometimes lie to childrena dn expect them not o, but these lies are all taken out of context. If a child goes out with their buddies and lies about where they are going and then gets in a car wreck and the parents don't even know where to look for the bodies, right? And on the other hand if a adult lies to a child about fluffy moving to a farm they are sparing theri childs feelings and not putting anyones lives at risk. I hope you can understand. Best wishes
2006-06-09 16:59:40 · answer #2 · answered by colorist 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes there are things that goes on in adults life that no matter how hard they try it is very hard to get a child to understand. There is no good excuse for telling lies or making up stories so maybe adults should just tell there children that at that point they just will not understand.
2006-06-09 16:59:25 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Telling the truth is the best thing, but the truth is sometimes very painfull! Telling the truth or not to the children, this is a subject that it's very important, because sometimes even the adults will get harmed and hurted from the truth, but in the other side telling lies is not good at all! But sometimes telling a lie to the children, will make them feel better, because of their fantasy! We always need to be very carefull with them because they are still not grown up people who can understand the life like an adults mind will understand!
My opinion is that you need to act like a child when we are in their company, we need to be like them so we can make them understand us and to make us understand their innocent minds! We need to behave as an adult when we are with adults, we need to behave as we are in old ages when we are in company with old people....etc! Because being nice is the most important thing, being followed with honesty and sincerity 100% to continue being nice and kind!
2006-06-09 17:05:39 · answer #4 · answered by bestthing80 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on whether or not they can understand the truth and are emotionally mature enough to deal with the information. If you adopted a child at birth you want to wait until they are old enough to understand. You try to tell a five year old you are not really their mom or dad they aren't going to get it.
If by stories and fables you mean the Easter Bunny, tooth fairy, etc what is the big deal. No one has come around saying that they are emotionally scared for life because they were "lied" to about that.
2006-06-09 16:57:49 · answer #5 · answered by butterflykisses427 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know it's a double-standard, but unfortunately...it's a needed double-standard.
Some truths are just too difficult, and possibly life-altering for a child. Would you tell your small child that you were getting a divorce because you caught his or her daddy having sex with your sisters...or just tell him or her that things didn't work out, and mommy and daddy can't live together anymore?
Let's be realistic here...there are some things that go on in the adult world that children can't....no, shouldn't!..have to deal with. Why rob them of all of their innocence?
As much as I preach about telling the truth, (and I do!) there are definitely some things that I could never tell my children..not until they were much, much older and mature enough to handle whatever earth-shattering truth I decide to divulge.
Am I making sense? Do you get the gist of what I am saying? Yes...lying is bad, but I believe that hurting your children with facts--facts that they are too young to comprehend, much less understand, is worse.
2006-06-09 17:05:09 · answer #6 · answered by Ginny Lou the Peachy One 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, children should always be told the truth even if it's uncomfortable. Of course... things can be ommited and censored to make the truth age appropriate, but nothing that will change the meaning or make what your telling them untrue. For example: A child sees a news story about a rape, and asks his parents what rape is. An appropriate answer would be. "it means someone hurt her very badly" It's still the truth, but appropriate for little ears.
2006-06-09 16:58:10 · answer #7 · answered by SportsFan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm inclined to agree with your statement, almost fully....
There's nothing I hate more than seeing parents that "enforce" their religion to their children. If I ever have kids, surely I will tell them what I believe in, but I will also let them know, from the very start, that they are free to believe in any religion they want to, or to not believe in anything, since nobody has the ultimate and absolute truth about that subject.
Also, I hate parents that lie to their children just to make them shut up. I think it's despicable.
However, when some things are just *too* painful or complicated to deal with, there's no shame in simplifying or sugar-coating things a little. (ie: explain them about pregnancy from an early age, but don't tell them the specifics until they are older).
The child also needs to feel relatively safe and protected by his parents, in order to trust them.
2006-06-09 17:01:33 · answer #8 · answered by Firefox 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
they should be told the truth if they are old enough to understand it, if not then no need to lie just make it sound different. I have just had to tell my 12 & 15 year old their grandad who they both adore that he is terminal i couldnt lie and say he would be cured or that he wont die.the only lies i ever told them were santa and the tooth fairy
2006-06-09 16:57:28 · answer #9 · answered by T 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say that children should be told the truth if they are old enough to understand the situation.
2006-06-09 17:01:46 · answer #10 · answered by doglady 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋