She passed away a little over a year ago after being diagnosed with cancer 3 days before their wedding. They were married a little over a year. I mean am I asking for trouble here ? Is that just a clue to other underlying problems ? How do I breach the subject ? Any suggestions would be helpful.
2006-06-09 09:13:58 · 35 answers · asked by curious 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
it would be disrespectful to ask him to change the machine message, that is just something he is going to have to work through. Even though it was a little over a year ago, it is still fresh in his head and heart, obviously he is trying to move on and work through it because he is dating you, just give him time and space i am sure it will work itself through in time, dont let it bother you, it is not cheating, this was his wife a part of him that has passed. oh and btw after my dad died i called his pager for weeks afterward just to hear his voice, until one day i called and it had been shut off, and it tore me up to know i would never hear his voice again.......it may seem creepy to some but when you lose someone you love so deeply, you do many different things through the grieving process which may take years...it took my family 5 years at least to get through the grieving process.
2006-06-09 09:22:07 · answer #1 · answered by camrondew 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he hasn't erased her voice off the machine that's probably a really strong signal that he hasn't let go yet.
I don't know, but if it was me I'd either replace the tape if I could and/or just replace the whole answering machine in order to keep that little piece of the person I lost. But I would never leave something like that on for a year after the fact. What the heck are other people going to think who call him?
I would just say excuse me, I've got to ask is that your wife's voice? See what he says and take it from there.
2006-06-09 09:18:03 · answer #2 · answered by curious 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
While very sad for this person, I find the situation a little comical.
I've always prefered the direct approach. Just ask! If it's a problem, he'll probably freak out or get angry. If not a problem, he'll probably laugh and say he just never got around to changing it.
Although, a slightly different situation, my sister has been in college for over 2 years and her voice is still on my parents answering machine. She lives on the other side of the USA now.
2006-06-09 09:17:27 · answer #3 · answered by allama1126 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask him about it.. Say I was wondering about why you still had your deceased wife's voice on the answering machine? I think he still may not be over her passing. Try to be easy about the subject and I can definitely see why you would want to know. Well I wish you the best of luck!Just remember there's always other men in the world.
2006-06-09 09:19:18 · answer #4 · answered by Taylor 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its not really that strange at all. Widows and widowers tend to leave bills in the name of the deceased or some of their clothes in the closet or even their voice on the answering machine so that strangers would not suspect that they are single. I would just simply ask him why that is. It very could well be there for call screening purposes.
2006-06-09 09:22:04 · answer #5 · answered by Joe K 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is kind of strange, but maybe it is just a way he tries to remember her. In my opinion, I'm not quite so sure he should be dating since they were married and it has only been a little over a year. Maybe you should just try being a shoulder to lean on and ask about her so he can get closure and stuff
2006-06-09 09:19:08 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, He's not over her yet by any means. A year sounds like a bit too long to have her voice on the machine still...but, I left my moms' on mine for about that long too. Just wasn't ready to never hear her voice again....but, this guy, you may want to step back a little bit. Let him come to you when he's ready...If you think he is worth waiting for.
2006-06-09 09:19:41 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sure she's really dead?
Sounds like he hasn't gotten over her which means he's not ready for a new relationship with you.
Ask him about it and if he refuses to change it there's your sign to hit the road.
I would ask him out right, "Hey did you know there's a woman's voice on your answering machine? Why haven't you changed that?" Depending on how he responds you'll have your answer...
If he's not over her and you stay, you're totally asking for trouble.
2006-06-09 09:16:35 · answer #8 · answered by Corn_Flake 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do no longer begrudge the guy for containing onto her a sprint. If I have been him i might in no way unfastened that recording. i might even have copies made and positioned away. Does it advise that he isn't any longer waiting to go on? No, even however, i would not seem to marry this guy basically yet. particularly while you are the 1st individual he has dated with the aid of fact that loosing her.
2016-10-30 11:16:39 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you really stop loving someone you've loved if you do then I think you need the help, so the guy still has her voice on the machine so what. I wish I could still hear the voice of a loved one I miss.
2006-06-09 09:28:00 · answer #10 · answered by loshort 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋