My ex boyfriend and i broke up and we had to sit and talk for 3 hours. in my opinion it should just be " i dont wanna date you anymore this is why and cya" but my ex boyfriend decided to go over every little detail and i finally told him to leave because i was sick of hearing all my supposed faults. Now was that rude or should i have listened to him?
2006-06-09 08:45:25 · 32 answers · asked by scornedgirl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I think it depends on how long he was your boyfriend. A long term relationship breakup takes longer because usually the other person has strong feelings for you and needs more time to get their head around it.
If you didn't date for long then it shouldn't take as much time, since you'll just get it over with and move on.
If he is really someone you care about but not in that way anymore, maybe he deserves to know why. It can be useful for the guy to know why this is happening, especially if it was his fault, because in that way he can learn from his mistakes and try harder the next time he's in a relationship.
I think the time depends on each relationship. It took yours 3 hours to be over because you have an ex boyfriend that loves to point out flaws; you said so yourself: " i finally told him to leave because i was sick of hearing all my supposed faults".
I don't think you were rude. I think nothing good could have come out of listening to him. You sound patient enough to me! Good luck, and don't fret about it!
2006-06-09 08:59:08 · answer #1 · answered by hey_k 2 · 3⤊ 3⤋
It is ok for a person to want to know why the relationship ends. It helps add closure and start the grieving process. However three hours is too long. Either he was just trying to prolong the inevitable or he was in denial...either way it doesn't matter. You needed to end it somehow.
You could have found a better way but by that point in time you were probably tired of the go round and frustrated.
There is only so much you can do for someone who isn't willing to listen.
Neither can you change time and take back the way you did it. It is time for you to move on and heal.
Good luck!
2006-06-09 08:48:54 · answer #2 · answered by foolnomore2games 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ever been stalked? Ever been broken hearted? Maybe hearing him out wouldn't have killed you.
What women don't understand is that we break up with a guy once all of our feelings for them have evaporated. When they get the e-mail, they think, "wow, let me salvage this." They don't realize that your bringing it to their attention meant that y'all were in a cohesive, we-can-work-it-out, type relationship. When a woman is done, she can literally walk away and hope that he doesn't become a burden. She may even take a little pride in how long he pines for her, knowing it takes men some time to get women off of their chest.
Even in a relationship where he knows they are growing apart, he can get used to the separateness, as long as he isn't told one day to leave. He could get used to not having sex, her sleeping in another room, routines that only align at the dinner table and still if she does not say it's over, they can live that type of existence. It depends on how long and thoroughly they have bonded. If he has rutted and is comfortable with who she is, he could literally live as a room mate as she assumes another separate life. Then and only after he is totally out of the picture will he actually accept it is over. If she does something dogged to him it make things easier to accept, but it can make them explosive. Treat others the way you would want to be treated in return.
2006-06-09 08:55:22 · answer #3 · answered by gravelgertiesgems 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, a few sentences isnt enough to give someone closure, most likely. My breakups usually have taken about half an hour, because you need time to explain yourself, why you are ending it, and then say some good things about the other person. If he used the time to go over all your faults...thats messed up. He was upset, granted, but you dont tell someone after they dump you how awful they are.
2006-06-09 08:51:09 · answer #4 · answered by kari 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No their's only so much you can take. A little conversation is good but 3 hours. Get over it I would tell him. It sounds like he was trying to change your mind by making it your fault
2006-06-09 09:01:18 · answer #5 · answered by sexzbich 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends on what the reasons were for breaking up. But if your sick of him and see no chance with him...then just tell him to get lost. He'll get over it. If you value his feelings and how he feels towards you then you should not be so rude and hear what he has to say. Otherwise...move on!
2006-06-09 08:48:28 · answer #6 · answered by cracker2423 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forget about being rude.
You need to realize what life is all about.
It is full of Tests.
The Test here is to learn from your mistakes.
Try to be receptive to your faults and help him understand his.
That way , the next relationship may work out for each of you.
2006-06-09 08:49:37 · answer #7 · answered by Matty 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
10-15 minutes
2006-06-09 08:48:15 · answer #8 · answered by BlondeBooBoo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
good 2 listen 2 little of ur faults but if he's goin over da limit n not admittin his own den its good dat u were rude
2006-06-09 08:49:37 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not rude, enough is enough. It's either finished or it's not. Maybe he was doing that to get the last word in his mind.
2006-06-09 08:47:22 · answer #10 · answered by Shrimp 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋