due to what is happening right now i advice?

Question

my family is crumbling i lost my grandfather an now i lost my mother what in the stars i am i supposed to do there is no one in this town i can trust i need advice

Answer 1

First don't do anything you will regret later. Time alone in peace and solitude is what you need. Go sit at a park and block all sounds out and try to focus on what you do have in your life. Your Mother would not want you to hate the world or hate yourself, she would want you to be happy and move on. Your Grandfather would want the same thing. One day you will build a family of your own and share your stories of being young when your Mom and Grandfather were around and let their legacy live on when you get old and they tell your story.(Depending on your age now).

I can understand where you are coming from regarding you can't trust anyone, I to am like that and go through bouts of depression within myself for allowing these folks in my life. But you can't be sorry for whats been when you got to be (Whoopi) you can't get upset over things/happening/events/ that you have no control over in life. It is an experience good or bad and you have to overcome the negaative aspect of it and turn it into something positive.

I hope this helps you. One. Out. Respect.

Answer 2

i was once told that God's plan for us is like a tapestry in the sky. We only see the strings loose and nonsensical, but on the other side is a beautiful pattern. Go to a neighboring town and find a pastor or a therapist. Tell them what you have been going through and ask what they suggest and then go join an organization for people who have lost loved ones. Finally, go volunteer to help with children who have lost their families. Helping them understand that you understand their loss will help you as well. And, believe it or not, since children are the least judgemental, they may have some words of wisdom for you.

Answer 3

You may find that half the town is either in an experience like you or has had one. Of course it will not be entirely the same (I feel your misfortune but you do not clarify whether you also have children dependent on you, whether your own health is good, whether you have a job or money). So far in my darkest times including the death of 2 younger family members (one by cancer, one in an accident whilst doing voluntary service overseas), I have always decided that there are others who have it even worse.

I catalogue "Why Was I Not Told About That"? http://wwintat.blogspot.com One of the top WWINTAT is that its not governments nor corporations nor fun-loose friends (those who disappear like cheshire cats when you have a real problem) that sustain us but our deepest social networks and our families and mentors. The number 1 reason why people get into poverty, addiction or other extreme traps is not having sustained enough of a hi-trust social network around them. Research shows this from at least 40 years ago - its not just a 21st netizen phenomenon. Its worth discovering this idea as deeply as it can bring contextual meaning tp you because actually many of us are in the same boat because we have not been taught about it, and we are certainly not rewarded to spend time on it by most corporate employers nor by that sort of 21st C democratic politician who has become globally too big to care about local communities and social spaces. Have confidence in yourself. Choose one thing that you know you want to do better throughout your life and expect many other people want to as well. Host a coffee meeting around it by using every local want-ad or virtual community to find 5 people who definitely are interested in the same pursuit. Incidentally many health for all projects have started because someone did decide enough was enough- they never wanted anyone else to go through the same loneliness and troubles. see the health for all project jam at http://www.changemakers.net to verify my assertion

I look forward to reading other answers to your deeply courageous question, and it would be great to hear if you find your solution [e-mail] since so many of us need to learn better answers

Answer 4

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. The best words of encouragement I can offer are those that my mom gave me when my father died. It will never get this bad ever again. We all have to come to terms that we will lose our loved ones someday, and the first time we lose someone close to us , it is devestating. Somehow, after coping with it the first time(s), we gain the strength to accept that we can survive despite our greif and pain and even eventually learn to appreciate those around us a little more while we have them.It's hard to realize that at the beginning, but it will get better. I can promise you that. Life , love , freinds and family are all beautiful gifts. Remember all the best about those that you have lost and keep their spirit alive in you.

Answer 5

Try to take things one day at a time, take time to think about what you want to do. How old are you? Is moving an option. Maybe you could try getting away from home for a while if your able and try to meet new people along the way. That's what I did. I met all kinds of people from different backgrounds and have learned that I can trust them more easily than I could my friends back home.

Answer 6

Dude, when I was 23 I lost my mom 9 months later I lost my grandmother. You will come to realize there is no one in this world you can trust, much less count on. Find a good church that you are comfortable with and start going. Read the Word as much as possible. The key is we can't handle life but the Lord can. I have come to this conclusion after trying 30 years of trying it on my own......................good luck and my God bless

Answer 7

You have taken some heavy hits to your stress zone. Usually one death can take years to recover from, and you have two to deal with. Bless your heart. The grieving process has been studied for many decades. It is a five-step process. The side effect is usually depression that lasts longer than ordinarily. Depression is a diagnosable process. If you need to ask for a recommendation, I suggest that you speak with your physician about the depth of your loss. There are health care professionals in the field of mental health who assist those who find themselves in situations where there was a dependency upon the deceased. They will either offer you clinical therapy or prescribed medications to help you to focus on your other responsibilities (such as work and family)... or both. It is sometimes necessary in order to prevent someone from harming themselves as a recourse.

Contact me directly via the link to my e-mail. I have grieved deeply before; I will try to offer some inspiration to help you to 'forgive them' for leaving you alone to deal with life. It helps to stay busy. It is hard to do the tasks that 'they' did before their passing. And, I find that they usually have quite a few things that were taken for granted during their time with us. So much to do and not knowing how to motivate oneself is another thing that seeking professional advise will help with.

Take care. Remember to see the source listed below, too:

Answer 8

Hey. i lost my best friend about a year ago and lost over half my friends because they were all jerks. If need to talk to anyone go ahead and email me at [e-mail]
Don't let the email freak you out a friend gave it to me and I needed one quick and I don't have the time to get a different one.
I have love a aunt uncle and now losing my only grandmother. I know what it feels like. It sucks.

Answer 9

Try to find a place you can call your own...a place you can relax, and feel comfortable in being it can be anything, a closet, tree, mall, skate park, anywhere....remember that you are not alone in the sense that any wisdom, knowledge, memory, laughter, or conversation your mom or grandfather ever gave you keeps them in your heart. And with what they showed you or gave you can accept it and accept yourself and from there build an inner strength for you situation.

Also find anyone or anything to talk about it too. Just letting out really helps.

Hope my advice worked for something and be strong, you'll get through. ^-^

Answer 10

this might not be an answer you want right now, but you could just pray about things. when my family began to crumble right beneath me, i had no one. so i prayed that God would send me people that i could trust and talk to. now i have over a dozen people in my life i can trust and talk to about anything in life. they call me up randomly and check on me, and i can call them at any time during the day or night to talk to. its pretty amazing.