2006-06-09 08:38:22 · 17 answers · asked by niquedesires 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I am 17 years old, he's 21. My mother is cool with our relationship and she's backing us 100%.
2006-06-09 08:47:28 · update #1
If you are financially, emotionally and physical capable AND 100% committed to having the responsibility of and unconditionally love another life, then yes. Be sure to remember that, just like married parents, irregardless of what happens with you and your boyfriend, you BOTH will have co-responsibility for your child.
2006-06-09 08:42:07 · answer #1 · answered by Tangled Web 5 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Depends on your situation. Questions you should ask yourself before deciding to make the big decision include:
How well do you know your boyfriend?
How long have you been together?
During that time, how has the relationship been?
If he's ready enough to commit to having a baby, he should as be committed to you as well. Of course marriage is a whole different issue, but it is more ideal then just simply living together if your planning on having a baby. Ultimately, marriage is personal issue that the two of you should also discuss. After all, some people are happy with just cohabiting, and prefer it marriage while others do not.
Other factors include your age and maturity level as well as his age and maturity level.
Also, have you done everything while being single that you've wanted to do?
After having a baby you can't be as spontaneous as you might be now. Going out to dinner or just to catch a movie becomes a planned event because you have to find a babysitter in advance.
Don't get me wrong, having a baby can be a rewarding experience but you have to take all these factors into consideration before you decide to take the plunge because once that baby gets here, your whole life changes and your first priority isn't you or your boyfriend anymore. It's all about the baby.
***I just read the part that you're only 17. Please don't allow yourself to be another statistic. You're still young and have a lot of time to have a baby. At 17, the last thing you need to be worried about is having a baby. You should be thinking about hitting the club and under aged drinking. Enjoy your youth while you still have it and don't have a baby right now. You have all the time in the world to do that. Go out and enjoy yourself. And I beg you to please practice safe sex. Being a teenage parent isn't much fun.
2006-06-09 16:00:08 · answer #2 · answered by Jupiter 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. I'm almost 20 my boyfriend is 26 and we are having a child. We are very excited about the baby, but it is a huge step. Even at our age we are not all together financially responsible, I doubt either of you are even close. What about college? What about buying a home, you aren't even an adult yet, don't be so ready to raise a child. Plus, at 17 you don't know how long this relationship will last. If you want a closer relationship with your boyfriend, then move in with him or get engaged, if you are not ready to do either of these things (or he isnt ready) then you guys are not ready for a baby. Remember, you will have this baby every day of your life for the next 18 years. Thats longer than you have been alive.... while I don't doubt that you (like I) will love that baby with all your heart, give yourself a chance to do something with your life first.
2006-06-09 16:05:53 · answer #3 · answered by manderstwin1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if you had started off by saying "Me and my husband have been thinking about having a child..." I would have said, best of luck to you! However, if this man isn't ready to be a husband, he isn't ready to be a father either. It is unfair to bring a child into a relationship that could end rather abruptly because there is no committment. If the man loves you, get married first. Make a home for your family. THEN have a baby. Better yet, if there's a way for one or both of you to go to college first, do that, even if you have to work at the same time to pay for it. Your opportunities in life will multiply by doing that one thing. Don't be in a rush to be grown up with family responsibilities. They come soon enough.
2006-06-09 16:03:09 · answer #4 · answered by CleverGal 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is not a good idea. Finish school, maybe go to college. Get a steady job and a place to live. A baby is going to be dependent on you for the rest of it's life. Whether or not that boyfriend of yours is around, and I'm guessing if he wants to get a 17 year old girl pregnant, he probably won't be. How are you going to support this baby? Go on welfare? Minimum wage is not easy to raise a child on. Your better off waiting until you have more education, a good job, and a place to raise your baby(not Mom's house). This guy probably won't be around forever, but a baby will be.
2006-06-09 15:54:44 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
....um....its illegal for a 21 year old to date a 17 year old. But anyway. Date until you are 18 years old at least and see a consuleor then get married, never have a child before marriage, it'll really hurt the child when they find out. If you two really love eachother in a year and you believe it can last, then get married and THEN have a child.
2006-06-09 16:28:59 · answer #6 · answered by Yokihana 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO NO NO!!!!!!!!!!!!! If you aren't married, then don't even THINK about it. Really. Just stop and consider why that wouldn't be a good idea. You aren't married? How would your kid feel when they grow up? They're parents weren't married. Even if you got married after you had the kid, they would still feel uncomfortable. And also, you know that would pretty sinful. Think about what God would want you to do. I know He wouldn't want you to have a child if you aren't married. So I would TOTALLY reconsider having that child. And I don't think you should have sex at ALL if you aren't married. Too many people do that and it ruins their lives. It gives them a little pleasure for a while, but they forget about the big picture of life.
2006-06-09 15:42:20 · answer #7 · answered by Barbra 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I suggest you don't if you have to ask total strangers for their opinions. I birthed a tough little baby girl 25 years ago & raised her without her father's involvement. She's an amazing, bright & tough woman but there were some difficult times. I don't recommend choosing to have a child until you are willing to give up almost everything for the next 20+ years. You didn't say how old you are but be sure you are mature enough to enjoy the amazing little one.
2006-06-09 16:05:17 · answer #8 · answered by katiebob81 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say wait until you are married because I think it is easier for boys to just run out on you after the baby is born I am not saying he will but sometimes it happens but if you have been in a relationship for a long time and he is living with you then I guess but if you just meet him watch out because it is hard to raise a child on your own but good luck to you with what ever you decide to do
2006-06-09 15:43:14 · answer #9 · answered by COLLEEN 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
U should get married 1st and see if U both have enough money 4 a child
2006-06-09 15:43:29 · answer #10 · answered by goddessas1 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋