i am at my wits end with my 5 yr old, his behaviour is disgusting, can anyone help??

Question

my son is 5 and drives me mad!! he is totally disobedient, aggressive with other children, destroys everything he sees, a problem at school etc etc. i really feel i cant cope anymore. can anyone help? i have been to the doctors and he says he will grow out of it!! he also has glue ear which is currently under going investigation, so i am aware his ears could be affecting his behaviour. i feel exhausted by the whole situation and feel we can not have a normal family life because it is one continuous battle....help??

Answer 1

you have to enforce your rules and stick to it no matter what - a child throws tantrums and the like because they worked to get what they wanted before. yes, they do grow out of it but you have to help him along, dont feel bad saying no to some behaviours but don't reward misbehaviour by giving in to what he cries for cause next time he knows if he can hold out for two minutes longer than you - he wins

Answer 2

It seems as though there is something that is not right with your son. It's either one of two things:
One - Kids copy what they see, not what you tell them. If he is around someone that acts that way, then he's picking it up from someone else.
Two - Something is seriously at the root of this situation causing him to act this way. He could be being taken advantage of by someone you and him are close to, (as horrible as it sounds) b/c children often surpress their emotions when they are being abused, and even though they don't say a word, their actions are screaming for help. Please, hang in there, and instead of feeling like you are going crazy, find out what the root of the problem is. When did this behavior start? Since he was a baby? Or since what age? Sit down with him and have a friendly visit and see if you can poke and prode him into telling you what his feelings are and find out if he's being abused. Also, go over the talk with him and teach him about his 'bathing suit' area, and how if anyone touches him there is not right...you know, you have to be careful these days b/c there are so many perverts out there. I hope he will be ok, and try to have patience, and I would consult a phycotherapist (that would be the last resort) b/c a medical doctor wouldn't be able to tell you why he's lashing out that way. Of course they say it's just a stage...they don't know!

Answer 3

It doesnt sound like you've put your foot down with your son, have you given him rules to live by and then set boundaries and consequences for his actions? You have to, period. It's not easy, nobody ever said it was, infact its VERY exhausting to be a parent. If you are going to throw your hands up in the air and give up on your son that is sad, he deserves better. It's your fault that he acts the way he does, both your husband and yours. You are his role models. Don't blame your bad parenting on his ears or some other something that somebody will come up with, get on the ball!!!!! You are only doing your son a disservice by taking this parenting responsibility lightly. Ask for help, there are services out there that can inform you and set you on the right path. Whatever you do your son deserves more then to be put on the back shelf, so whatever is taking priority over raising him to be a respectable healthy and succesful adult GET RID OF IT. Best wishes!

Answer 4

I am not sure what a glue ear is but if its an infection that could be the problem. when my son has an ear infection he is unbearable. you might want to start talking with your son on his level and get tough with him about what he is doing is not nice and hurting peoples feelings etc... if it continues on then he may need to see a pediatric counselor or have an evaluation for a behavior disorder, ADD ADHD. Have there been any traumas in his life, new baby, divorce, move? Something may be upsetting him or angering him and he cant express it to you. Has his guidance counselor at school evaluated him? someone needs to intervene at a young age so he isnt conformed into this lifestyle as a way to get attention or have his needs met.

Answer 5

Did you baby him when he was young. Let him have his way and etc...? Did you spank him? One of the reasons why children are out of control now days is because parents insist on timeout than a good old fashion spanking. I earned respect and I dang sure didn't do it again. If I smarted off to my mom, she would slap my lips off. My grandmother busted my lip one time, and guess what, I didn't smart off to her anymore. If I even tore up something accidently, my dad would beat the crap out of me. But he was very abusive. Don't abuse your children. A normal spanking will do. You can't give your child everything they want. That is not how life works, so when he gets older, he will expect everybody to hand over what he wants. And you and I both know that will never happen. I don't think his ears would be making him behave like that. If he was hurting, he would be crying instead of destroying things. He will not grow out of it. It will be especially bad when he becomes a teenager. I suggest you allow the school to spank him when he is out of line and then when he gets home, spank him yourself. If that doesn't work, then your child is just out of control. Sometimes, children are born like that. Talk to a child psychiatrist too. Get the child help.

Answer 6

have you EVER disciplined him? I don't mean beating the kid, I mean set boundaries and being responsible for his horrible behaviour? IS there a father? Are you a single mother? there could be anger and resentment if you are. Do you leave him in day care? Do you sit and read with him? Play? do silly things? Kids NEED discipline and guidance. They WANT to know what is right and wrong. Good Luck.

Answer 7

yea i would keep him off the sugar that should calm him down some....but screw what the doc says get another opinion bc my brother was like that at that age and believe me you dont want to know how he is at 17. docs told my mom the same thing then a second opinion said he needed ritalin which my mom wouldnt agree to. She finally got my brother help within the past few months and his doc says he could be the poster child for adhd and from what it sounds like he is acting just like my brother did at that age. im not a doc but get a second opinion and ask them if its possible he could have adhd

Answer 8

i know is sounds weird but you have to praise him more. Anytime he does anything not bad to somewhat good.
When he acts up you have to ignore him. He's being bad to get a reaction from you. So if he's throwing a fit, walk out of the room. ignore the bad behaviour, even if it's making you nuts.

Answer 9

Try changing his diet. I remember watching a show about rebellious children and one mother visited a nutrionist who changed the kid's diet and in a week or two the kid was completely different. Try visiting a nutrionist or simply research proper diet ideas.

Answer 10

40 some atypical years in the past if I or one among my brother or sisters misbehaved, my mom or dad might basically quietly(on their area) take us by ability of the hand and positioned us in our room and close the door. There we stayed till we could act like genuine looking human beings. If one human beings tried to open the door it would be locked from the outdoors. back, as quickly as we chosen to act in a fashion that became human we could come out. there became no yelling or spanking or screaming threats by ability of our father and mom. We knew the effects of particular behaviors. i take advantage of the word punishment (yet I looking back particularly do no longer think of it became) became rapid and basically. it variety of feels your daughter is the right age to be responsive to while and the place and with whom she will pull crap. She would desire to study that for the period of your place she heavily isn't allowed to DISRESPECT you. The point is now being set for the teenage years and in case you think of it particularly is undesirable now basically wait. She has shown by ability of her habit someplace else that she is conscious what's sweet.