Old enough?

Question

I'm 20 yrs old I've been dating this guy for 2 yrs. I feel like im ready for the house and wedding and kids, Basically i'm ready to " Grow Up" is it too early. Him and I have talked about gettin married and will. I just want it all like now. Am I wrong to want to grow up so fast?

Answer 1

Only you can answer that question. If you feel like youre ready then you might be, just make sure he is to and both of you continue to be on the same page so to speak on the subject. Good luck!

Answer 2

You're not wrong to want to grow up so fast. It's your own personal feelings. I've been there before myself with my ex. She wanted it all too - and fast. Well, bottom line is, we're divorced now, and one reason is because she missed the single life - the bars, the parties, the boyfriends, etc... She wants to have her cake and eat it to, and you just simply have it both ways. Explore each others minds to the greatest extent possible before you fully commit to this decision. You've got a lot of years ahead of you, and you may even consider both of you becoming further educated, or even more financially secure before taking that next step. It's a big one to take you know? You'll plan the wedding for months, maybe even longer, and then when that day comes, it's all over sooooo fast, you won't even believe it! Take your time, enjoy each other, live life as though tomorrow will never come. Enjoy where you're at today.

Answer 3

I'd say this depends on your situation, especially where kids are concerned. This is when you have to push emotions aside for a minute, & think practically. Have you both gotten settled in your careers? Are you able to afford to pay all the bills that will come with owning a home? Are you financially stable enough to support children yet? Most likely, you might want to wait, at least on most of this. I know 20-year-old girls think being a mother is the ultimate joy in the world, but it's a lot of work & shouldn't be looked at lightly. It also isn't fair to the children if you can't provide a stable home environment for them. At this point, I would say the primary focus of both you & your boyfriend should be to get through college & attain degrees. Then, get your careers going, & start saving. Wait at least 1 more year before getting married, see about getting a home or apartment when you both get out of college (try dorms until then), & then wait a few years after getting married to allow your careers to stabilize until you have children. You'll be able to give your future offspring a much better chance in life if you wait a while & get your own lives in order, first. Give yourselves time to enjoy being a married couple, & learning to cope together with life's everyday struggles before you bring kids into the equation. I bet you'll be glad if you do in the long run, & your kids will be better off, too.

Answer 4

No not at all. If you found the right person at this time in your life then why should you put it on hold? Some people don't meet them until they're in their 30s. Just because you get married at this age doesn't mean your life is over either. Of course you have another person to consider, but you can still do a lot things you want to do. The best part is that you have someone to be with and share with through all of it! Just don't rush him and do what is best for the two of you. Good luck!

Answer 5

As someone told me in my previous question "why do I feel this way" Make sure you're married before having kids, make sure you have everything you want before the kids come along, and while you are doing all of this, Marriage, House, getting everything ready, it will go by so fast, you'll have your wedding, house, and kids before you know it. Good luck and don't pressure him too much, he probably wants to, he's just waiting for the right moment.

Answer 6

I think you are putting yourself at a great risk for divorce, and probably with kids stuck in the center of it. I met my wife right before my 20th bday (She was 21) and we got married 1.5 years later (I was 21 she was 23). It has definetely not been easy, and we have gotten close to divorce before. I would really recommend that you go to college, and find out more of who you are. Ever since you've become an "adult" your life has been with him. You don't know what your life is like without him. I think this would be a big help because you will go through a lot of life changes over the next few years that will change who "you" are and that may not match with him.
My older sister met her husband in her freshman year of college (18) and got married when she finished her degree (22). They divorced about 3 years later because as she grew up, she changed from who she was when they were dating and she didn't know her own self at that point.

It can work, but it is rare and very difficult.

Answer 7

I was married at that time. He and I were in high school together and we had a child when I was 21. We ended up divorcing a couple years later as we both changed A LOT (you are still changing at that time/growing). HOWEVER, there are people who married early and were high school sweathearts and stayed happily married forever so.......it's just a chance you take in life. Otherwise, you sound like me ---- the impatience. It's only cuz you're all excited. Give yourself time though to plan a wedding. It's a lot of work!!!! Best of luck.

Answer 8

I think twenty is a good age. It is also depends on your maturity level and his. Once you get into marriage and house and kids, it's for keeps. be sure you've "sowed your wild oats" and are ready to settle down. patience is a virtue, so don't rush things along. talk to your parents and see what they think. Hopefully you're grown up enough to handle those responsibilities. Your parents should know. Are you set in a career? Have you gone to college or do you plan to? does your guy have the type of income that you will be comfortable living with? You've dated him for two years. Do you have a lasting relationship? Is he ready to accept the adult responsibilities too? These are all questions that I would ask of you (or myself) in coming to a decision. If you're a Christian, then you should pray for guidance in such an important change in your life. God has his timing on things. Are your plans in alignment with His?

Answer 9

You are going to and you have grown but don't rush things. In due time you will have everything that you want and if you want this go ahead but make sure that you know what you are doing, marriage is for life, not just to play house and have kids and kids are for life as well, just think about it. I had my first and only child at 20 and didn't stay with her father but I did get a degree and a very nice job so you do what works for you. In anything that you may choose, good luck!

Answer 10

Yes. Gosh..I wish I could tell you all you will miss if you do the whole wedding, family, kids thing too early. You are just starting to know yourself as a person, and believe me..there is a lot more living and exploring to do. If you still feel that way at 25..it's a different story. Live your youth to the fullest..it's a great part of life.

Answer 11

no one is to tell you whether you are old enough- that comes from down inside of yourself if you feel you are ready and if this guy is really the right one. some people marries at 18 and some at 45- but as far as growing up to fast, do make sure that life has been good to you and you have been good to life- make sure some of your goals have been met and some of your dreams have been fulfilled.