2 years ago, My X and I separated and he kicked me outta the house. I left my children there, ONLY because I had no place to go....... After a year the divorce went through and he got custody of 4 outta 5 kids, I got my oldest son. Well, now I am a stable person. Have a house, etc. I want my kids back and am currently going to court. BUT, now I am scared because everyone is telling me the judge isn't going to let me have my kids because I left them and can't prove that their Dad is no good????? I live in AZ! I am their MOther, is there anyway to get past having to prove he is a piece of ****?
2006-06-09 06:01:59 · 26 answers · asked by Rikki M 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
BTW~ My kids are 15, 14, 8, 6, and 3
2006-06-09 06:09:36 · update #1
My kids wanna be with me.
2006-06-09 06:10:18 · update #2
I already have joint custody and they live 3 blocks away.. I see them all the time... and I am a Stay at home mom...
2006-06-09 06:13:26 · update #3
You should have some evidence to support that you are stable, like a pay stub or receipts, nice clean home and that kind of thing to show the judge or case worker. But try not to create such a mess by calling your ex bad names because your kids will only end up resenting you and your ex by the time everything is through. Kids need to see both their parents no matter how painful it is for the ex's involved. They didn't ask to be brought into the world and have parents that don't get along so be careful not to make this their problem too.
2006-06-09 06:08:03 · answer #1 · answered by Beccawho 3 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Did he ever abuse you or the kids? Do you have any proof? My mother in law went through this exact situation, of course this was 20 years ago. My father in law kicked her out of the house and she was homeless for awhile, and then rented rooms and wasn't able to take the kids for awhile. Basically to make a long story short she did get her children back eventually. You are right though, it will be hard because technically you did leave the children and that's what your husband will say, but what could you do? My suggestion is to get the best lawyer that money can buy (if you don't have a whole lot of money, try to find a woman lawyer, they tend to be the best family attorneys and she may be sympathetic to your situation and do the case pro bono) and document everything that has happened. You should be able to at least get joint custody. I wish you good luck! Also, pray about it, God works wonders!!
2006-06-09 13:07:41 · answer #2 · answered by Shelley 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't go by what people say here - really - or the stuff you are "hearing" - courts can surprise you. There is no way to know. I hope you have a good attorney - that will help some. Proving the dad is no good isn't necessarily going to happen even if you could. The courts do not want to get involved in any of the emotional aspects between you and your ex - that is irrelevant. The only issue is going to be the kids. Are they stable now? Will their lives be messed up moving them now? Are they being taken care of or can you provide BETTER for them? There are a lot of issues. Good luck.
2006-06-09 13:06:39 · answer #3 · answered by butterfliesRfree 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am going through the same thing. Let me ask this- if you have joint custody and they're right up the street, why mess with a good thing? I hate to say it like that but my kids are right up the street too and I see them all the time. I got them for a good bit this summer and it was overwhelming. Hard to do that stuff when you havent been doing it. Plus, how are your kids going to act? Do they want to be there? Seriously, you have a good thing going- you can see them whenever but you still have freedom.
If you just have to have them back though- continue with the courts. They're mostly old enough to make the decision and talk to the judge about what they want. PLus, you're stable now- that's gonna look good for you..
2006-06-09 13:43:04 · answer #4 · answered by Shell 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have joint custody. Is there a problem ( real problem not revenge) that is creating an unhealthy environment at Dad's? Or are you just ticked off at the situation? What ever the case dont badmouth your ex to the kids and dont lie to the court. You will have a hard time getting full custody from your ex, especially if you had little/no contact and/or provided little/no support. What does your attorney say? What has Social Service said in their investigation and report to the court?
2006-06-09 13:36:31 · answer #5 · answered by Stewiesgal 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, don't listen to those who say you can't. How do you know you can't until you try. You need a good lawyer and you would be better off trying to get joint custody rather than sole custody. If he's been a great dad all along you will not be able to prove otherwise so just concentrate on your inprovements and try for an amiable solution. The kids will be happier and better off if it doesn't get nasty.
Some other things to consider:
How old are the kids?
Who would they prefer to live with?
Do you live nearby?
Have you had contact with them during these two years?
2006-06-09 13:07:23 · answer #6 · answered by AlongthePemi 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
as far as I've heard, the courts normally give preference to the mother.
but the way you've made it sound as though you had some stuff going on in the past, and that could hurt you.
But if you have an established place to live, and a good income, I don't see why wouldn't at least get partial custody of the kids.
I have also heard that children get to pick who they want to live with when they turn 12. You didn't give the age of your children, but if all else fails...maybe they'll pick you when the time comes.
2006-06-09 13:05:42 · answer #7 · answered by Smiley Girl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First it's a matter of small steps. And trust. You do not get anything in one fell swoop. You have to prove that you are worthy of parenthood. Not just to your ex...or the courts...but to yourself. The courts do not want another case of 'I deserve this'...and 'he (or she) is bad because'...the lawyers want that! The judge wants to hear that you are amicable. you can work out a schedule. you can abide by any agreement that is set up. And you will not fight, argue or sling mud or stones...that will anyway affect the children. Hearing of all of this...take a deep breath. Write down the pros and cons of having your kids back (if this is just a selfish financial reason..stop now). And then find a sounding board, before you find a GOOD lawyer or arbitrator who will work with you. Good luck!
2006-06-09 13:08:25 · answer #8 · answered by MJFProd 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am not sure but wish you best of luck, i hope you contact a lawyer who can go over your whole situation with you and advice you on your state laws regarding custody. this is not something to trust to Y!A alone. this is a serious matter and you should also talk to someone in your area that can get all the facts they will need before you go before a judge
please do NOT listen to people like that self riotous heifer CROW anyone who has ever tried to get state help know its a long process and doesn't provide enough to support a family on anyway. yo are to be commended for leaving your kids to help provide them a better life. don't think that you abandoned them because leaving them with their dad was not abandonment. i hope you and him can work something out!
2006-06-09 13:09:03 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Courts are very discriminate when it comes to removing children from a home in which they've been for that length of time. If they're doing good in school, have friends and are well adjusted, to be frank, you don't stand a chance. The courts are interested in what is in the best interest of the children, not the parents wants.
2006-06-09 13:06:58 · answer #10 · answered by kathy059 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋