In my country it is the sign of a bad character if you have sex before u get married or even the fact you have a boyfriend is soo frowned upon...do i just go ahead and defy all traditions or just honour them. P.S. defying might result in my being thrown out of the house and disowned..since i'm 19 and my parents are paying for my Uni that wouldn't ne nice.....plz help me out
2006-06-09 05:22:27 · 13 answers · asked by sarah 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Speaking of backbone...it's not like america or the uk or anywhere else for that matter..u cant move out...u'll probably end up getting killed or begging in the streets....u are either rich or poor no "in between..." u cant get a job not even as a waitress ...so...i think my backbone is quite fine thank you...!
2006-06-09 05:33:01 · update #1
um...btw...i know my parents are misguided but they dont hate me and im not islamic, not that it's bad...i come from a multireligious multicultural country and i have friends of all religions...so i have a healthy respect for all...so i do resent attacks at religion ok...it's just im caught in this net and i haev no idea what to do abt it..
2006-06-09 06:32:44 · update #2
I think that you should finish your education and then decide as it seems you have little choice at present, once you have qualified and it seems that you do not agree with this tradition, then look to move abroad and then live your life freely, it will also mean that your future children will have a better choice and possibly start in life.
Good luck
PS People are people so no one should be able to control someone else
2006-06-09 05:40:00 · answer #1 · answered by Jim M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the choice is what is best for you? Do you agree with the way of life that your parents want for you or do you feel that is not to be your way. If you leave, I feel that they will no longer honor you.....but if you stay, you will be unhappy. My vote is to be happy. Life is to short. Maybe they will come around in time. You are old enough to make your own decisions. You can make your own money. Good Luck!
2006-06-09 12:29:42 · answer #2 · answered by ncbound 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its natural to want to be an individual, but your culture has hung onto such traditions for good and pure reasons...living in such a different society than yours I can only say..your so much better off following your tradition than experiencing any other...I realize its easier said than done...but the simple life can be so much less complicated and actually allow yourself to become who you were intended to be...good luck, blessing.
2006-06-09 12:31:14 · answer #3 · answered by Goodspeed 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is very difficult for you,believe me there is pressure on girls in the uk to follow thier parents wishes and that is nothing to do with religion.
its just parents want what they think is best for you.
sometimes that is not always what you want and even in the uk,it can result in the girls getting kicked out of thier homes etc.
ther reasons may vary but the result is the same
your life your choice
mike
listener06y@yahoo.co.uk
2006-06-16 06:15:32 · answer #4 · answered by listener06y 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You family are scum, don't love you, hate byou and are your enemy no different to a pimp. They are not honourable therefor don't deserve your honour.
LEAVE THAT COUNTRY IF THEY DON'T WANT TO LET YOU WORK OR WANT TO HURT OR KILL YOU THEY ARE EVIL... TAKE THEIR MONEY TO ESCAPE AND CLAIM ASSYLUM.
Honour is not cheating people, helping to save those in trouble when it is in your power to help, treating well and looking over those who you have power ofer and not abusing it.
So you are not dishonouring anyone worthy of it.
You are right, they are wrong. They are dishonouring you by their behavour...
The only reason a parent or family member should want an arranged marraige is if you can't find someone yourself and you are hurting so bad they want to help you not be lonley... If you find someone yourself it should be a case of wayhey don't have to bother.
As for the money...
Are you a prostitute? No Don't act worse then one a sex slave... as thats what you are to your parents practically. As they have power ie money... and you don't they think they can control you. No different to a rapist buying a child and saying Im paying for you food you do as I say.
Find a job that can pay your way... And tell them if they love you they have to accept you for who you are, that you decide your own life not them. They are only there to help and advise and you being 19 means you are an adult.
Likewise its unfair for you not to have a life...
As said you are not in anyway immoral.
Have you hurt others who have not hurt you or otheres deliberately? No
And them saying you are hurting them by not obeying them or having sex does not count.
Have you mugged anyone, raped anyone, put others negligently at risk? polluted the world badley, treated workers like scum, forced anyone to have sex with those they don't?
No
Therefore not immoral... And not dirty unless you like having sex in mud and then not immoral.
Islam is not a good religion. You are smart. Compare it with new age wickens...
Do wickens stone people to death, be brutal or unfair to girls or gays? have they started wars, massacures, want people to kill themselves etc? NO
Has islam? Yes...
So you really want to go back home? find don't let them kick you out of the home... leave first.
If they love you them will apologise, if not fock em, If they threaten you in any way have them arrested or better still get the football team or ex members of gangs to see they get a visit...
As said those who care for you and who are honerable good people want you to be happy, want to see you in love and enjoying company...
You are not bad character... they are.
If they loved you they would want you to be happy
ps LEARN TO FIGHT VICIOUSLY THEM GIVE SOME BACK TO ANYONE WHO TRIES TO CONTROL YOU... THEY CLEARLY HATE AND WANT TO HURT YOU... LIFE IS THAT BLACK AND WHITE
2006-06-09 13:10:30 · answer #5 · answered by Joey 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you will have to comply for the moment hun, at least till youve finished uni, when you have done that you can reconsider the traditions that you dont like and mabey do something about it. by the way where are you from hun?. good luk
2006-06-09 13:03:55 · answer #6 · answered by harrierzero1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pack up you things Grab you bank book Walk out now right foot left foot.
2006-06-09 12:33:03 · answer #7 · answered by nivek 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you have to Honor them and treat your self with respect and your body too,why you are in rush to have sex or boy friend? all of it'll come later by it self beside you might meet the wrong persons.
wait until you finish your study then chose the right one for in this case i agree you have to know and chose the right one for you but not before.
take care of your self
2006-06-09 12:31:40 · answer #8 · answered by Mohamed b 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try and decide what is most imortant to you, i think an education at uni will be in the long term,
be careful you dont chose what you may later regret
2006-06-09 12:26:51 · answer #9 · answered by jonathanmusty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm Native American... all you can do is to tough it out until you're married (and if possible marry white and break tradition.)
2006-06-09 12:31:00 · answer #10 · answered by angelpockets 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋