Adoption : pros and cons?

Question

What are the pros and cons of choosing to adopt? My husband and I have been giving adoption alot of thought and I would like to know personal opinions of the pros and cons.

Answer 1

I am an adoptive parent of an amazing little 2yr old girl, and I am so glad to have adopted her. For me, the pros are that (1) you become a parent and you get to be part of a child's life; (2) you get to give a lot of love and get a lot back in return; (3) depending on whether you adopt from the U.S. (an open adoption where you know the birthparents) or overseas (where you won't know the birthparents), you might have some choice regarding the health, sex, and overall development of the child you adopt (versus having a child biologically and not knowing anything about how healthy the child will be at birth). Some cons are that (1) you don't always know what health issues will show up (but you don't know when you give birth, either); (2) the biggest one for me is other people's ignorance (like, "is that your REAL child," or "where are their REAL parents?"). You and your child will always have a lot of educating to do with other people and that can get annoying.
Adopting my daughter was the biggest blessing in my life. But I know not everyone can go through with it, so do give it a lot of thought! :)

Answer 2

I have a "birth" son and an adopted son----I love them both equally. My adopted son came to live with us straight from the hospital at 2 days old following an "open" adoption. My husband and I were able to help 2 people--the young college student who wasn't prepared to raise a child at that point AND her beautiful newborn. He is now 8 years old and is wondering some about his "natural" family. His birth mom moved about 300 miles away about 2 years ago and now has 2 more children while my son is the only child left at our home now. I think having more than one child at home would be more beneficial and help him not feel so alone. We give him many opportunities to interact with others in church, sports, clubs and other activities. Add to the mix the fact that he is African American and we are Caucasian. Things can get a little complicated---BUT I think back on my "normal" upbringing and I remember feeling alone and part of a family of 3 kids. So all this to say, I feel adoption is a wonderful way of growing a family and sharing love---it may not be perfect but we don't live in a perfect world!

Answer 3

1: the pros are you will be giving a child otherwise unsure of it's future a stable home and loving parents amonst other things
2:the cons some day that child may want to find it's biological parent's and all your years of love feel as though they have been thrown back in your face,
i have been lucky enough to have my own children ,if this option is not open to you then adoption is a fulfilling way to acheive parenthood but not one to take lightly,i'm sure there must be plenty of sites on the net that will point you in the right direction and give you all the right imformation and counselling you require before embarking on a life time of changes

Answer 4

The biggest pro, the thrill of raising a child. The biggest con, the thrill of raising a child. The only other downside, will be the "you're adopted" and the wanting to find birth parents. Other than that. Good luck.

Answer 5

Please be very, very careful. We adopted two boys when they were 7 & 12. They were adopted into a devoted family and loved dearly. They did not want to be adopted. Whatever a Child's natural Parents have done to them they would always rather be with them. The baggage they carried with them was too great to overcome, despite huge & consistent efforts by everyone. They have both repeated the behaviour of their birth Parents (petty crime, violence, drugs). The older one (now 27) shows some signs of starting to attempt to lead a normal life but the younger one at 22 is lost. Adoption is not unlike marriage, there has to be chemistry, there has to be deep love and there has to be tolerance but sometimes you can try and try, bringing yourself and other people you love to their knees without abiding success. My heart was broken by it. I was a gently brought up girl who was threatened with a knife and had all her possessions stolen to fund drugs. My car was trashed as was our beautiful home. The experience destroyed my first marriage. Remember, if you adopt an older child, they will have witnessed & learned unimaginable things and all the love in the World is sometimes simply not enough to change that.

Answer 6

It all depends on what country you are in and what country you want to adopt from. There are a lot of pitfalls to international adoption i.e long delays, different laws, huge expense. If you are thinking about domestic adoption i.e. in your own country, then the pitfalls are lessened somewhat. I adopted my wifes boy when we married and it was wonderful when it was finally legal but it was a long, hard road to get there. Adopting a baby would be your best option though as a bond will develop really quickly between you and the baby! Good luck!

Answer 7

The pros are not having to go through child birth, and giving a child a home.

The biggest con will be when the child pretty much slaps you in the face by saying "I want to find my 'real' mother" You know, the mother that could not be bothered with them is the "real" one to them, the one that sacrificed for them is not.

Answer 8

no cons you are providing a child a home, nuturing love, and care. what is bad about that. there are so many children who need that in this world, do it. adopt 4 kids!!!!

Answer 9

Pros - You are helping a child and you give yourself a child if you can't have one of your own.

Cons - You don't know the childs medical history if you don't know the parents. And you run the risk of the child's parents changing their minds.

Answer 10

the pros: you will save and improve a life
the cons: you cannot save them all

well done to you for what you are thinking of doing. thank you