Im 19 and my boyfriends 22, we have been together for 2 years and have a very loving stable trusting relationship. because i love him so much and feel that i want to be with him forever, i cannot stop wanting a baby! i find it very hard not to talk about it to him, but realistically i know its not what me or him wants, not yet at least. is there any way possible i can stop this overpowering urge?
2006-06-09 04:13:46 · 47 answers · asked by jungle bunny 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
thankyou for all the people saying i need to wait - but i know that already!!!what i need to know is how to make the urge go away!!!
2006-06-09 04:21:17 · update #1
and im also very suprised at everybody putting so much emphasis on marriage. a ceremony and a piece of paper does not make you any more or less ready for a baby or any more committed. where are all the marriage bashers from? im in britain.
2006-06-09 04:27:40 · update #2
It isn't easy having a baby. Sure its got its good side. But here's some things you have to go through.
During pregnancy, a lot of women have to endure morning sickness. A friend asked me why its called "morning sickness", she had them the whole day, everyday until the third month. She can't eat certain foods, she gets cranky because of headaches. Later in her pregnancy, she began to swell, and it wasn't just her belly - her legs, ankles and feet (to the point she couldn't wear shoes).
Caring for the baby is a 24/7 job. No day off, not even holidays, not even evenings. Some days the baby will be like an angel, but there are days when the child just keeps crying and crying - no matter what you try to do to comfort him/her. When the child is sickly or born with a defect - will you be able to handle it?
To be a parent, you have got to be prepared emotionally, mentally AND financially.
I suggest being a sitter for a nephew or niece for a week or whole month. Or try checking out all the things the baby would need, compute its food and formula, clothing, baby furniture, medicine and trips to the doctor - against what you are earning. A lot of my friends backed out of being parents for a while when we did this - and it started out as a game!
2006-06-09 04:40:54 · answer #1 · answered by Eiznot 3 · 5⤊ 0⤋
To help the urge.........babysit for neighbors and friends, all ages not just babies. Do overnights for some too, that way you can have more time and see more what it is like to be with a child more. See if you can work or volunteer at a daycare and that should help ya!
So some math.....1st of all you know you're young, and not married. There are alot of reasons to be married before having a child, but I am not going to go into it. 2nd go to the store, check out how much formula is, diapers, baby food, clothes.............formula depending on the can , but I used a 32 oz can in about a week, a package of diapers about 1 - 1 1/2 a week (maybe more, I don't really remember, even though diapers aren't in that long in the past for me), then when they start eating jars of food I think I went through 2 - 3 a meal (so that is about 9 a day, plus formula), and then clothes! You need alot......or your gonna do laundry a zillion times a day...........and don't forget,the food and spit up gets on you too.......so your clothes, too!
Ok, do I need to go on?!?!?!
Hopefully that will help ya........good luck, and just some other advice, you're kinda young to be in a serious relationship. You should live alittle before you settle down!
2006-06-09 04:35:14 · answer #2 · answered by Christina K 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to find something else to occupy your time. Having a baby to soon will put unneeded strain on your relationship. You both need to be ready in order for this to happen. It doesn't seem like he has plans on going any where, your relationship is safe, and a baby wont make it any stronger (it could have the opposite effect, child rearing and financial distress are the two leading causes of divorce)
Sit down with your mate and set up a five year plan on what you want and when. example house, car, job, savings estimate, marital status. Then talk about what is going on in your life and how you will get from where you are now to what you will have then.
In the mean time get involved in something meaningful and important to you. This will help take your mind off your bodies reproductive needs. (going on birth control could help fight those urges as well, sometimes these urges can be brought on by chemicals in our bodies, and birth control can help regulate that until you are ready)
2006-06-09 04:26:06 · answer #3 · answered by micki_g 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ever thought of becoming involved with Big Brothers and Big Sisters or some other youth organization. That would be something the two of you could even do together.
Baby sitting or working at a day care is also an option.
But don't rush into the baby thing. It's a lifetime commitment.
So have you talked with him about it? Is he against it? For now , or just in gerneral. If you haven't - you should. If you've already talked this one to death, then you might need to look at what directions each of you are going in life and if they really are the same direction.
2006-06-09 04:21:44 · answer #4 · answered by mcdane01 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Same way you stop any other "overpowering" urge ... you exercise a little self-restraint. You're not even married yet and you don't say anything about HIM wanting a baby as well. I sugges you invest in a VERY good birth control method that you always can use, like Depo, IUD, Norplant... something with a high rate of success and that is difficult to remove or not use (unlike a condom!).
You should focus on getting yourself educated, so you can provide your future child with the kind of life and support that it will NEED to be a success in life. Isn't that more important than your current desires?
2006-06-09 04:19:16 · answer #5 · answered by Goose&Tonic 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Im sure you have spent many moments, many days, looking at your boyfriend and wondering how beautiful your baby will be. Will it have his eyes my hair etc......Your not wrong for that. I am guilty of it too! Truth is, I have acted on that impulse only to regret it later. Yes the both of you are very young. Im not saying run-off and get married. Let the love between you and ur boyfriend grow as the two of you grow together. Eventually you will get married. Having a baby the right way, with your husband by your side,is special. Until then you could volunteer at a homeless shelter or hospital, caring for newborns.(depending on your state) It is a great eye opener, and may even settle your thoughts about having a baby.
2006-06-09 06:47:13 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
BABYSIT!!!! or get a job at a daycare. I always had those feelings like starting when I was 15. I surrounded myself with other people's children and it REALLY helped. When the time is right & you two are MARRIED then have ALL the babies you want. I am now 28 and I have 3 sons and a new baby on the way. We waited until I was 20 and my husband was 23 before we got pregnant with our first. Good luck!
2006-06-09 04:23:20 · answer #7 · answered by Just me.... 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take a deep breath...this is a HUGE ISSUE!!! Having a child CHANGES YOUR LIFE FOREVER! No longer will you live your life for you....you will live for this child! I'm 22 and I can't imagine having a kid right now...I just finished college and I'm having the time of my life! My Sister-in-law wanted a kid so bad when she was 19 she got pregnant, she's still with the father (there married) and actually have 3 kids now. She's a great mom, but although she loves those kids with all of her heart and soul...she always informs me to wait. She never got to have "fun" that we should all get to experience. Having a baby is fun...but did you know that in most successful relationships the couple is MARRIED for atleast 2 years before they have kids. Then you have a basis for your marriage...not just a child. Just statistics. Please, Bringing a child in the picture is a huge deal and really...really think about it....I'm not tellling you what to do but follow your heart and think ...."do I really want to have to get a babysitter on my 21st birthday..." "Do I want to go to college? Finish College..." do I want to have stretch marks and gain ungodly amounts of weight??? ...Let me know what you decide and I wish you the absolute best of luck! Follow your heart and you will be fine....
2006-06-09 04:26:40 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey, I am 22 and had a baby at 21. It's hard to take care of baby, but you will love. Your family will still love you and they will be all over the baby. I believe that you are mature and responsible enough to take care of a baby, go for it. I believe anyone over 18 and has a real positive outlook in life will be responsible enough to care for A baby. I know I did, and my family has been very supportive.
It's is very difficult for me to take care of a child; I am a husband, I work 2 jobs, I am in the air force reserves, and I am also trying to finish up college. I am doing all this and I can still be a responsible father. There are sacrifices to be made, and I made many.
For those that don't have a positive outlook in life, it would be very difficult. But if you feel as though you can be responsible, then it's all good.
2006-06-09 04:21:42 · answer #9 · answered by travis 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you don't feel you're ready, you're most definitely not. Wait until you get married and are sure that you're settled down. The reason there are so many kids out there without parents together is because everything isn't talked through and figured out first. I know this urge won't just go away...but one day you can have a baby and you'll BE ready...just wait, you'll be glad you did.
2006-06-09 04:18:35 · answer #10 · answered by LiRona 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋