Will your city benefit from the big homeland security dollars?

Question

My city got no funding at all. Security is so poor here that I had to pick up the FBI agent from his office and bring him to my house to spy on me. He sits and listens on one of my phones and had to borrow my tape recorder and I have to make him lunches.

Answer 1

politicians.hey by the way funny!

Answer 2

Orange Alert!! grab the duct tape and tarps - head for the biffy!! oh, be positive to vote republican on the way so that you'll keep sensible and secure - undergo in concepts "go paying for" or the "evil doers" may have received! HomeSec has spent 3 years after 911 scaring the hell out individuals. Many at the instantaneous are not even positive the "attack on our soil" grow to be with assistance from authentic terrordudes - presently it merely seeems like 'so-a lot' crapola - yet - no prefer to do a real study, because if we "persist with the money" to the terrorists, properly, the course merely dries up at the front steps of United Arab Emerites (oh the position the meant 911 attackers were from) $$$$thanks George and Dick! What a boon to all mankind you money device is! yay!! $$$$ all and numerous contained in the mood to purchase a house?

Answer 3

HOTEL KERALA-FONIA


On the road to Trivandrum
Coconut oil in my hair
Warm smell of avial
Rising up through the air
Up ahead in the distance
I saw a bright pink tube-light
My tummy rumbled, I felt weak and thin
I had to stop for a bite
There he stood in the doorway
Flicked his mundu in style
And I was thinking to myself
I don't like the look of his sinister smile
Then he lit up a petromax
Muttering "No power today"
More Mallus down the corridor
I thought I heard them say

Welcome to the Hotel Kerala-fonia
Such a lousy place,
Such a lousy place (background)
Such a sad disgrace,
Plenty of bugs at the Hotel Kerala-fonia
Any time of year
Any time of year (background)
It's infested here
It's infested here

His finger's stuck up his nostril
He's got a big, thick mustache
He makes an ugly, ugly noise
But that's just his laugh
Buxom girls clad in pavada
Eating banana chips
Some roll their eyes, and
Some roll their hips
I said to the manager
My room's full of mice
He said,
Don't worry, saar, I sending you
meen karri, brandy and ice
And still those voices were crying from far away
Wake you up in the middle of the night
Just to hear them pray

Save us from the Hotel Kerala-fonia
Such a lousy place,
Such a lousy place (background)
Such a sad disgrace
Trying to live at the Hotel Kerala-fonia
It is no surprise
It is no surprise (background)
That it swarms with flies

The blind man was pouring
Stale sambar on rice
And he said
We are all just actors here
In Silk Smitha-disguise
And in the dining chamber
We gathered for the feast
We stab it with our steely knives
But we just can't cut that beef
Last thing I remember
I was writhing on the floor
That cockroach in my appam-stew was the culprit,
I am sure
Relax, said the watchman
This enema will make you well
And his friends laughed as they held me down
God's Own Country? Oh, Hell!

(c) The Yeagles

The lyrics of Hotel California from which the above song was inspired as a parody is below...

Answer 4

not mine I live in New York City and they decided to cut our budget by 40% and places like NEBRASKA get additional funding. If im not mistaken didnt the 9/11 attacks occur in NYC?

Answer 5

Considering you're using the eye of Sauron to identify yourself with--why would you need mere humans to offer you security when you already see all and control the dark forces-anyone even think of messing with you one look at the orcs and all the other uglies and they'd think they were in their worst nightmare.

Answer 6

My city has THREE border crossings, and we got our funding cut by 40% as well. You must live in one of them states that voted Democrat, as I do. That's why the funding got cut. But, your commentary was funny.

Answer 7

They cut ours too. Now the feds have to drive Kia's and Haundai's with no tint and only an A/M radio. No air either. It's freakin' HOT here today.

Answer 8

Thats unbelieveable, I feel for your safety, insecurity is an awful feeling if your unsafe aye.Scary, I think your government needs to consider making some serious changes for your communities safety.Alot of people will agree with this.Sad

Answer 9

I really love it. Those who are made deals with those in power got the funding. Watch what companies will benefit in what areas.

Answer 10

Up here in Canada we all have soapstone Eskimo carvings to attack the enemy with. We're ready for anything, eh? (But we're running out of Eskimoes...don't tell the evil doers that!)

Answer 11

of course a city that recieves a large wad of dough also gets placed high on the terror networks to do list