My son is 2 1/2 years old and for the past month or so he has been having a lot of behavior issues that are hard to deal with. I feel as though I have tried everything. He almost never listens to me when I tell him to do things, such as "stop hurting the kitty" ,"don't hit your sister", "get out of the refridgerator" and so on. He hits and bites is 18 month old sister and screams if she takes something from him or has something that he wants. Sometimes and hits and kicks my husband and I when we try to dress him, pick him up or even hug him.
I have tried giving him more attention and spending time alone with him. I have tried sitting down with him and looking him in the eye and explaining to him that what he is going is not appropriot and that he needs to stop (telling him why as well). I have tried giving him short time outs taking toys (or whatever is causing the problem) away from the situation. I don't know what else I can do since none of this helps.
2006-06-09 03:56:09 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
For those of you who are telling me to 'spank' or 'tap' my son- you are DISCUSTING and I would NEVER do that to my son or any other child. Please do not respond with that suggestion-instead use your time to report yourself to child care services.
2006-06-09 04:28:53 · update #1
spank his butt, explain why he is receiving the spanking, and you might try telling him that for each time he misbehaves he will be sent to bed x amount of minutes earlier, but when he is good he gets to stay up an extra x minutes. BE CONSISTENT, BE FIRM, BE LOVING
2006-06-09 04:28:32 · answer #1 · answered by Nurse Autumn Intactivist NFP 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One thing that you might want to look at is sleep. Is he getting enough? My son just recently turned 3 and when he is going through an unreasonable, devil-spawn period often it turns out that he has not been getting the sleep he needs. 2-3 year olds need 11-13 hours of sleep a day.
Are some times of the day better than others? If so, before you head into one of those "toxic" times of the day, try to get him to nap or bump up bedtime a bit.
Keep working with him on doing the time-outs or removing toys so he understands that hitting, biting, and screaming are not acceptable.
I would urge you not to simply spank him for these misbehaviors since it only encourages children to use physical means to solve their problems.
Also, the twos don't have to be "terrible." Seriously--I often find that my children's "out of control" behaviors are often due to sleep, hunger, or thirst. They're worth a shot.
Good luck!
2006-06-09 11:22:05 · answer #2 · answered by warehaus 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At 2.5, it's not enough to tell him "don't do that" or "stop that". You have to show him what you want him to do. Instead of "stop hurting kitty", say "pet kitty nice, like this" and physically show him how to use his hand. Then praise him for doing it right. When you later see him going after kitty, remind him "we touch kitty nicely" and praise for a job well done. If he doesn't do it correctly, tell him "you didn't touch kitty nicely. I can't let you hurt kitty so you can't play with kitty right now.", then pick him up and remove him from kitty's area. You can do the ame thing when he hurts you, dad, or sibling. With the fridge... you have to say something like "you can't play in the fridge...come over here and play in the cupboard." AT this age, you have to be hands on and you have to physically go to the child when you talk to him/her and show him/her what it is they should be doing. Exhausting, but worth it in the long run!
Fighting over the toys is probably going to be a frustrating issue for awhile... it's the age and by the time he's outgrowing it, your younger one will be moving into that stage. You probably need to make sure you have 2 of everything.... it's not that you need a lot of different toys but you need enough blocks, cars, plastic animals, etc. that they can each have their own red blocks or firetrucks or tigers. Just keep working with them both on sharing toys and they will eventually get it. Try to be patient in the meantime! Keep praising the successes and correcting the inappropriate behavior and your efforts will pay off.
Good luck & hang in there! Below is one of my favorite parenting authors. From your comments, I think you would really appreciate her work.
2006-06-09 13:29:14 · answer #3 · answered by lechemomma 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have gone to a behavorist about my son and they suggested a book. I can't remember the name, but it basically tells you to put your child in time out when you get to 3. It worked wonders with my children. I hate counting to them, but I yell less and they mind me more now.
What you do is place a chair, or mat in a place out of the way, where they are kinda alone. At 1st show them, take them to it and tell them, "when you don't mind, you are going to sit here."
So, when they do something, you start ex: "please, don't hurt the kitty", and then they do it again, in a stern voice "don't hurt the kitty again or you're going to the chair." If they do it again, get up, tell them what is going on, walk them (don't carry them) to the chair and tell them to sit there. (after awhile, they will go to the chair themselves, suprizingly, when you tell them to go there) At first set the timer for the same amount of minutes as their age. (And then my son got to a point where he would ask how much longer, or how many minutes, etc.) But then I noticed that he would pitch a fit everytime he was sent, so what I would do was wait till the fit was done, then tell him that what he did was not acceptable and let him out. (The dr agreed that you do what is best and works for you!)
At 1st it seems like they are in the chair most of everyday, but if you are consistant with him, he will learn! Just remember that you have to be consistant, or you are just going to be stuck in a rut!! You can do it! :) Really, try it for 2 weeks, and you should see that there is a change in him! Good luck!
2006-06-09 11:19:02 · answer #4 · answered by Christina K 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say that you have to do a couple of things:
1. Be consistant
2. Use a tone of voice, that says I mean what I say
3. Use time out
4. Make sure that you get your alone time (so that you can regroup)
5. Praise good behavior
6. Set boundaries - if the fireplace is a no-no; I set the boundary at the marble, not the screen.
7. Win and be patient
2006-06-09 13:50:56 · answer #5 · answered by above_all 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is the "terrible twos". It sounds like you have tried most everything. It is a difficult age. If things don't improve, I would ask your pediatrician for possible references to see if all is OK. My son had ADHD and acted out a lot at that age. He is fine now.
2006-06-09 11:02:03 · answer #6 · answered by Surfgirl2go 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What ever you do, be consistent! For my nephew, time out and a small "pop" on the hand (tap really) worked eventually. We would sit him in time out and tell him what he did to deserve it. The times he wouldn't stay in time out, we would tap his hand and let him know we were serious. (there were times we had to sit with him so he wouldn't get up) and when time out was done, we made him apologize. Good Luck.
2006-06-09 11:08:41 · answer #7 · answered by Danielle G 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
put him n time out make him sit n the corner and think bout wat he did or said or watever he did 4 bout 5 then tell him y that was rong a tell him he needs 2 say srrry cause that wasnt right 2 do a if he does it again then repeat this hope this helps u
2006-06-15 15:40:56 · answer #8 · answered by sweettart1325 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like 'The terrible 2's'
2006-06-09 10:59:53 · answer #9 · answered by lexie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Spank him
2006-06-09 11:05:07 · answer #10 · answered by morgan_loves_polina 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋